redbarron77 Posted March 22, 2010 Report Share Posted March 22, 2010 ...I have a friend, let's call him NedBarron77....has a son who is turning 18. The son (we'll call Ryan) has attempted to run away to his Biological mother's home multiple times, and has stolen cash, computers, and attempted to steal one of Ned's guns. Biological mother(we'll call "Zygote Donor") has had nothing to do with Ryan since she's usually busy banging hobos down at the truck stop.Ryan has been offered the chance at a community college nearby, Ned will pay for it, and all Ryan has to do is chores around the farm(no different than the last 5 years). Ryan said no, and Ned told him that on Ryan's 18th b-day, Ryan gets his choice of destinations from Greyhound busline.Should Ned follow through? Why or why not? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
wrillo Posted March 22, 2010 Report Share Posted March 22, 2010 42 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
flounder Posted March 22, 2010 Report Share Posted March 22, 2010 Follow through.. You cant help those that dont want to be helped even if you love them to death. Maybe spending some time trying to get by on his own will get his head straight. You cant force him to college. You may however be able to trick him into enlisting. hahaha. Im a firm believer in tough love.I would however suggest changing the locks should he choose the greyhound route or you may continue to find things missing and the last thing you want is to come home to everything missing or find out a gun of yours has been used in a crime. Not to mention that if he chooses to go his own way then that means he chooses not to be helped and should not have access to a roof, bed, shower, food, money whenever he feels like it. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bad324 Posted March 22, 2010 Report Share Posted March 22, 2010 yes Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
wrillo Posted March 22, 2010 Report Share Posted March 22, 2010 Seriously,You're pissed off, and we don't know the whole story. The picture you're painting of Ryan right now makes us all want to say "fuck yeah, kick his silly ass out". If he really is that big of a pain in the ass, let him go to Zygote donor's house. If he is 18, he isn't running away. Just make it very clear that if he leaves he isn't coming back. If you have a really big heart, make him live at mom's for a month on a "trial" basis. Exactly one month later (not sooner or later), he has to decide what he wants, and thats his "final answer". Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MidgetTodd Posted March 22, 2010 Report Share Posted March 22, 2010 How would "Ned" rate said "Zygote Donor's" bangin abilities and what truck stop would that be ? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
magley64 Posted March 22, 2010 Report Share Posted March 22, 2010 i like wrillo's suggestion.but consistency is key. IF you said it, you better follow your word. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
redbarron77 Posted March 22, 2010 Author Report Share Posted March 22, 2010 How would "Ned" rate said "Zygote Donor's" bangin abilities and what truck stop would that be ?meh, not bad, but nowhere near the best. and somewhere near Indianapolis, IN. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MidgetTodd Posted March 22, 2010 Report Share Posted March 22, 2010 Sooo not worth a road trip. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
redbarron77 Posted March 22, 2010 Author Report Share Posted March 22, 2010 Seriously,You're pissed off, and we don't know the whole story. The picture you're painting of Ryan right now makes us all want to say "fuck yeah, kick his silly ass out". If he really is that big of a pain in the ass, let him go to Zygote donor's house. If he is 18, he isn't running away. Just make it very clear that if he leaves he isn't coming back. If you have a really big heart, make him live at mom's for a month on a "trial" basis. Exactly one month later (not sooner or later), he has to decide what he wants, and thats his "final answer".I'm seriously not angry(even the ex, but I do love to bash her character around).He's tried to run away multiple times, had a nice kit setup for the next round, and has told the lady who lives with us that he plans on hopping a train on his b-day.I'll give him a few months to make his mind up, Zygote can keep her Nice routine up for about 3 months till it starts slipping... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Zach Posted March 22, 2010 Report Share Posted March 22, 2010 Shit, I'd buy him a ticket to Parris Island. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
redkow97 Posted March 22, 2010 Report Share Posted March 22, 2010 Where does Ryan think he's running to? just mom's house? then what? "living with mom" isn't a future.I understand why you're encouraging Community College, but I'd hesitate to push too hard on that. there are (or I think there should be) other acceptable options for him to pursue and not be kicked out. Trade school, gainful employment, etc. - forcing him to do what YOU want under duress isn't really teaching him anything, and it will make him feel like you're telling him what to do (how many 18 yr old boys like that?).I think you are justified to have reasonable conditions for Ryan to remain in your house -but if he wants to leave, I wouldn't even try to stop him. Just make it clear that options A and B are on the table now. If he leaves, there may be new conditions upon his return.the older i get, the smarter my dad gets... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
redbarron77 Posted March 22, 2010 Author Report Share Posted March 22, 2010 tried to get him into the military, but he screwed that one up by changing his answer at the Physical, and "remembered" going to counseling....which all kids of parents going thru a divorce have to do, and that landed him in a psych eval that said he was "anti-social" which makes him "un-fit" for military service.He has been offered jobs, but those require him to be there on time, and he doesn't want to do that either. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
oldschoolsdime92 Posted March 22, 2010 Report Share Posted March 22, 2010 sounds like a sterotypical lost 18 year old kid, who doesnt know what to do with themselves. I am not much older but I will say, just be there for him. Let him go, and when he falls, just be there. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
John Posted March 22, 2010 Report Share Posted March 22, 2010 man, if i even THOUGHT about stealing one of my dads guns he would have kicked my ass up between my shoulder blades... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
AOW Posted March 22, 2010 Report Share Posted March 22, 2010 Bro you, I mean Ned HAS to follow through on it. It would be for Ryan's own good. He needs to learn that not everyone that shits on him is trying to hurt him, and not everyone that gets him out of shit is trying help him.He'll thank you when he grows up. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
oldschoolsdime92 Posted March 23, 2010 Report Share Posted March 23, 2010 ^ agreed. Also agreed on the gun statement. I belive my head woulda been shoved so far up my ass , I would have never wanted to touch another firearm. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
bandit12 Posted March 23, 2010 Report Share Posted March 23, 2010 sounds like a sterotypical lost 18 year old kid, who doesnt know what to do with themselves. I am not much older but I will say, just be there for him. Let him go, and when he falls, just be there.This is what I finally convinced the wife of. Our boy knows it all and we don't know crap, he became totally disrespectful and nasty towards us, mostly the wife because I ignored him and the wife tried to lean on him and that made it worse. I told her to let him go, let him learn that its not all cherries and when he falls down we will be there to help pick up the pieces. He still thinks the world owes him something but he is coming to reality a little at a time. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Likwid Posted March 23, 2010 Report Share Posted March 23, 2010 Aside from the fact parenting advice on the internet is teh awesomez0rs....I have to agree with others here, buy him 2 bus tickets though... 1 to anywhere and 1 back. Tell him he's not welcome back until he's learned and ready to accept your help and the advice you give.... but tell him once he's learned he's welcome back.But honestly I have a hard time believing anyone could NOT be happy living with you given your choice in boobs Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bad324 Posted March 23, 2010 Report Share Posted March 23, 2010 man, if i even THOUGHT about stealing one of my dads guns he would have kicked my ass up between my shoulder blades...my thoughts exactly Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
redbarron77 Posted March 23, 2010 Author Report Share Posted March 23, 2010 yeah well, he has been given the bus ticket, and told the door is open for him to come back for one year, and get college paid for him.We'll see what happens, and hope life only kicks him in the knees, and not any higher.... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sara_Rides Posted March 23, 2010 Report Share Posted March 23, 2010 You're in a tough position, and I wish you the best of luck. Letting go is so much harder than continuing the fight. If you feel you did the right thing, let your mind rest and everything else will just happen. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
RSVDon Posted March 23, 2010 Report Share Posted March 23, 2010 Sigh, why are people my generation so just....argh. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Disclaimer Posted March 23, 2010 Report Share Posted March 23, 2010 Sigh, why are people my generation so just....argh.OTOH, you have to admit it is kinda nice there are so many of 'those people'. Makes it really easy to look good in comparison. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
RSVDon Posted March 23, 2010 Report Share Posted March 23, 2010 OTOH, you have to admit it is kinda nice there are so many of 'those people'. Makes it really easy to look good in comparison. You have no clue how right you are. Looks great as a co-op. I do jack shit comparatively and still make the slackers look bad. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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