So first off, fuck @SpecialEd He questioned my latest physical lab results and jinxed me. The actual appointment didn't go so well. During the exam it was discovered that one of my nuts was not like the other, it was enlarged. Now those of you that have seen me ride know I have seriously big balls. But they should be the same size. When they are not it means one thing, testicular cancer.
So never really sick, no operations and bam I got the big C. I can tell you, that feeling really sucked.
Ultrasound by a hot lab tech confirmed it was a tumor. Would have been really cool having a hot lab tech rubbing my nuts with lube if it hadn't been for the circumstances.
Next was blood work and and a full body CT scan which got us our first good news. No traces of cancer in the blood and no signs of cancer elsewhere.
Within a week of the physical I am at the surgery center to have my nut cut off. Scared to fucking death, never been down this road. Kicked my wife out for a sec and had my son swear he would take care of her if I died on the table.
Had to walk myself into the OR, that was hard. Did not want to go through that door. Fuck do they keep ORs cold. Already had an IV in, get on the table and the anesthesiologist says he just gave me the juice. Don't remember anything after he said that.
Wake up, mind is clear as a bell which I didn't expect. Pain was not too bad actually. They don't take it the way you would expect. I figured an incision on the sac and pull it out. Instead they put a two inch incision in your groin and pull it out from the inside. I suspect that is to make sure they get it out intact and don't bust loose any cancer cells.
Few days later the pain kicks in. I learned real fast everything you do uses your groin muscles. So everything you do hurts. So at that point I jumped on the Oxy for a few days. Went back to work 6 days afterwards. No heavy lifting or motorcycling.
Took a few days for the pathology on the tumor. It was stage 1, so it has not spread. Second round of blood work and no tumor tracers in the blood. Follow up Cats every 3 months for the next 2 years to be sure.
So I am good, you fuckers are stuck with me.
Can't say enough about using the Cleveland Clinic. I got appointments, lab work and surgery and test results insanely fast. Not having to wait and wonder helped with my sanity.
The main point of this post is guys, you need to Check Ya Nuts. I didn't know this. We have to check them just like women check their breasts. And this is not an old man's disease, very rare at my age. It hits men 25 to 35 the most. Found out several young dudes at work only have one nut.
FYI, there were a few OR peeps that were on a group text the day of surgery so Deb could keep them posted. After they got the all clear they busted out in one nut jokes. I warned them, they continued and I threatened them with a pic of my one remaining nut if they didn't stop. They didn't stop and they got a pic of my nut. I still have that pic and am not afraid to use it.
You have been warned.