chevysoldier

lol, I've heard a few of those, they're awesome...

#4... no joke, my VW doesn't have exposed keyholes. If your battery dies you have to take your key and pop off a piece of molding that exposes the keyhole so you can get in...

If you check the Tiguan forums that's a weekly question from newbs.... "how the hell do I get in if the remote lock doesn't work"

No kidding, I had no idea. HAHA

Don't know if these are true, but they are totally plausible.

How do these people survive?

ONE

Recently, when I went to McDonald's I saw on the menu that you could have an order of 6, 9 or 12 Chicken McNuggets.

I asked for a half dozen nuggets.

'We don't have half dozen nuggets,' said the teenager at the counter.

'You don't?' I replied.

'We only have six, nine, or twelve,' was the reply.

'So I can't order a half dozen nuggets, but I can order six?'

'That's right.'

So I shook my head and ordered six McNuggets

(Unbelievable but sadly true...)

TWO

I was checking out at the local Walmart with just a few items and the lady behind me put her things on the belt close to mine.. I picked up one of those 'dividers' that they keep by the cash register and placed it between our things so they wouldn't get mixed.

After the girl had scanned all of my items, she picked up the 'divider', looking it all over for the bar code so she could scan it.

Not finding the bar code, she said to me, 'Do you know how much this is?'

I said to her 'I've changed my mind; I don't think I'll buy that today.'

She said 'OK,' and I paid her for the things and left.

She had no clue to what had just happened.

THREE

A woman at work was seen putting a credit card into her floppy drive and pulling it out very quickly.

When I inquired as to what she was doing, she said she was shopping on the Internet and they kept asking for a credit card number, so she was using the ATM 'thingy.'

(keep shuddering!!)

FOUR

I recently saw a distraught young lady weeping beside her car. 'Do you need some help?' I asked.

She replied, 'I knew I should have replaced the battery to this remote door unlocker. Now I can't get into my car. Do you think they (pointing to a distant convenience store) would have a battery to fit this?'

'Hmmm, I don't know. Do you have an alarm, too?' I asked.

'No, just this remote thingy,' she answered, handing it and the car keys to me. As I took the key and manually unlocked the door, I replied, 'Why don't you drive over there and check about the batteries. It's a long walk....'

PLEASE just lay down before you hurt yourself !!!

FIVE

Several years ago, we had an Intern who was none too swift. One day she was typing and turned to a secretary and said, 'I'm almost out of typing paper. What do I do?' 'Just use paper from the photocopier', the secretary told her. With that, the intern took her last remaining blank piece of paper, put it on the photocopier and proceeded to make five 'blank' copies.

Brunette, by the way!!

SIX

A mother calls 911 very worried asking the dispatcher if she needs to take her kid to the emergency room, the kid had eaten ants. The dispatcher tells her to give the kid some Benadryl and he should be fine, the mother says, 'I just gave him some ant killer.......'

Dispatcher: 'Rush him in to emergency!'

fixed

http://www.facebook.com/pages/Bring-Amblamps/

Facebook group

I was gonna sign up too lol

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SHORT NOTICE

Welcome Home

WIA

SrA Tre Porfiro, 21

Dayton, Ohio

USAF 88th Com Squadron

Wright Patterson Air Force Base, Dayton, OH

Venue:

Wright -Patterson Air Force Base

Dayton, Ohio

18 February 2010@1255hrs-12:55 PM)

Staging Location:

Hope Hotel

Bldg 823 A

Dayton, Ohio

18 February 2010@1255hrs-(11:30AM)

From I-675

1. At Exit-20, turn left onto

Dayton - Yellow Springs Rd

and follow to Ohio 444.

2. Turn left on Ohio 444.

3. At the next light, turn right.

(As if to go through Gate 12A)

4. As you make the turn, bear right

and turn into the entrance

of the Hope Hotel.

SrA Porsirio was seriously wounded in Afghanistan, please read the story at the following link

http://www.healthcanal.com/immune-system/4390.html

District # 7 Ride Captain Mike Hamilton is assigned this mission. Make sure to bring your 3x5 American Flags and make sure you have a photo ID to get onto base. Try and car pool.

Bob Woods

Ohio State Captain

Patriot Guard Riders

looked like self defense to me

Yeah I got that. Was curious since the woman taping was like "I got that on tape, we can press charges!!" I just wondered if it worked out like they had wanted it to.

Howdy.

And umm

Howdy.

I owe the Feds and the State $1' date='500 for taxes for 2009. Well, more like $1,000 actually. I found a few deductions/credits that helped offset some tax burden. Although, I get where you were going with your comments. Gets funnier and funnier every time I hear it. [/quote']

lol, Well, I hope you get back up. My wife was unemployed for a short time. Put a strain on us, although we didn't have any tax issues.

I've been unemployed since April' date=' and I owe $1,500. We're paying taxes.[/quote']

You mean you owe back taxes?

Congrats, great to hear you can start paying taxes again like the rest of us. Just kidding.

I bet thats a HUGE weight off your shoulders.

Damn, dude got fucked up. Wonder if they tried to press charges on the old man?

This is all very interesting......

This sums it up...

Just saw a thing on youtube that all of the video footage of the crash have been deleted.

I wonder if (s)he has weather rocks that look like the other states...?

it wasn't really funny, but i got the point, so melissa is playing the role of all politicians who makes you beleive that they love and care for you just so they trap and kill you ?

Umm, it was just a joke. Not implying anything about anything. Wasn't really political, don't read into it so much.

Little Melissa comes home from 1st grade & tells her father that they learned about the history of Valentine's Day.

'Since Valentine's Day is for a Christian saint, and we're Jewish,' she asks, 'Will God get mad at me for giving someone a valentine?

Melissa's father thinks a bit, then says: 'No, I don't think God would get mad. Whom do you want to give a Valentine to?'

'Osama Bin Laden,' she says.

'Why Osama Bin Laden?' Her father asks in shock .....

'Well,' she says, 'I thought that if a little American Jewish girl could have enough love to give Osama a Valentine, he might start to think that maybe we're not all bad, and maybe start loving people a little bit.

And if other kids saw what I did and sent Valentines to Osama, he'd love everyone a lot. And then he'd start going all over the place to tell everyone how much he loved them, and how he didn't hate anyone anymore. '

Her father's heart swells and he looks at his daughter with new found pride. 'Melissa, that's the most wonderful thing I have ever heard.'

'I know,' Melissa says, 'and once that gets him out in the open, the Marines could shoot the bastard.

Howdy and Welcome to the board.

if you're looking to free up some space in general as well, ccleaner is sweet.

I have that as well, use in conjunction with ASC.

backpacking

Glary Utilities does too IIRC

Advanced System Care. Has cloned files finder and A BUNCH of other tools on it. I really like the program. I think you can download a free version, I was able to DL the pro version. I don't believe the pro version offers that much extra though.

Ok, cheescake then.

Make some tonight and bring it in tomorrow.