Damn, I wish any of that was anything but made-up weak sauce bullshit, but you don't seem to grasp the concept of the kitchen. Being the executive sous-Chef, I'll enlighten you by coming up with my own shit, since the drivel you just e-slurred left me absolutely nothing to work with.
If you knew me (and you do?), you'd know that I joke around about my mom all the time, so making up a bunch of cliched statements about having sex with her just wont get the job done. I know you feel like bashing me will raise your status in the kitchen, but you need to take some lessons in smack talking before you step up to the plate.
In the meantime, here are some websites that should help you improve not only your verbal skills, but your physical appearance as well:
www.bestwigoutlet.com <--- This should help you look less like a cueball... Until you talk to these guys, I'd stay the hell away from a pool hall.
www.gilette.com <--- Shave that scruffy ass shit off your face, you look like one of those ugly ass super nintendo "street-fighter" characters.
www.keyboardwarrior.com <--- Hopefully, someone on this forum can teach you how not to sound like the only smack talking experience you have is listening to chris rock on comedy central and talking back to your mom. I know you think you're sweet, but damn, get some skills.