I was walking across a bridge one day, and I saw a man standing on the edge, about to jump off. So I ran over and said "Stop! don't do it!"
"Why shouldn't I?" he said. I said,
"Well, there's so much to live for!" He said,
"Like what?" I said,
"Well...are you religious or atheist?" He said,
"Religious." I said,
"Me too! Are you christian or buddhist?" He said,
"Christian." I said,
"Me too! Are you catholic or protestant?" He said,
"Protestant." I said,
"Me too! Are you episcopalian or baptist?" He said,
"Baptist!" I said,
"Wow! Me too! Are you baptist church of god or baptist church of the lord?" He said,
"Baptist church of god!" I said, "Me too! Are you original baptist church of god, or are you reformed baptist church of god?" He said,
"Reformed Baptist church of god!" I said,
"Me too! Are you reformed baptist church of god, reformation of 1879, or reformed baptist church of god, reformation of 1915?" He said,
"Reformed baptist church of
god, reformation of 1915!" I said,
"Die, heretic scum", and pushed him off.
-- Emo Phillips