What to do with a un-motivated kid in school?

[Nitrousbird]

Damn, no wonder my mom always tells me I was the good kid. I got good grades for the most part, rarely got in trouble, etc.

 

My 1/2 sister on the other hand. Take someone who isn't all that bright to begin with, 19 w/ the maturity level of maybe a 15-16 year old, and a "I just don't care attitude." It isn't a lack of challenge with her.....she isn't bright enough to need more of a challenge.

 

She is now taking classes for her Good Enough Diploma, but I personally doubt she will be able to get it. She was an 18 year old Freshman in HS, and my mom wouldn't let her go back again (failing Freshman year 3 times is enough, plus she failed the 7th grade). My youngest 1/2 brother is a Freshman this year, and refused to be in the same grade as our sister. smile.gif Oddly, he does decent in school; same parenting/environment/school/parents.

 

Sadly, there just isn't hope for some people, unless they truely want to help themselves. My mom tried about eveything you can imagine with my sister. Bribes, grounding, after-school tutoring, ADD medication, yelling at her (my mom's yelling still scares the shit out of me), etc.

[suffocateXfaster1647545505]

Originally posted by Assured Risk:

$ talks.

 

Yes it is bribery, some will say this is wrong, tell him you will pay him x dollars per C/B/A

That's what my parents did and I started out with a 1.5gpa and graduated with a 3.8, it works.

[Akula]

I would say take an interest, you are now back in school. Every day when he comes home, pull out the assignments, and work on them. Nothing happens prior to school. If you figure out that he is having difficulty learning due to some type of disability, call Sylvan or some kind of specialist. If he sees that his school work is so important that you will drop everything maybe he will turn his interest on.

 

Also, find out what he really likes and try to foster that. Science buff, get to COSI or Newport Aquarium. Math buff, history, whatever try and work your way into his mind.

[Gergwheel1647545492]

the only way that he is going to pay attention and learn in school is if he is interested in it. i was the exact same way, i hated middle school and my grades reflected it. so you just have to find a way to make it enjoyable for him.

 

Also do not force/punish him that probably wont work now anyways and it will just make him hate it that much worse. im not saying to not give a shit but people react a lot better to requests than orders.

 

If all else fails just send him to military school.

[Buck531]

It's just his lack of motivation. I know he's smart. He CAN do it. There's just no motivation to get any thing done. I've tried the bribes and just about everything else.

 

Can I stick a fire cracker in his ass and light it? Will that work!???? smile.gif

[Akula]

I was having problems with motivation when I was his age. I got an early welcome to military living. No TV until my homework was done, no computer games/nintendo etc unless I had a certain GPA. It permeated my life, cleaning and all of that. Regimented activities, no motivation required, just do the work.

[HotCarl]

Damn i never knew so many people were like me. i was the same way all through school up until my senior year when i had a wakeup call and the counselor told me i wouldn't be graduating with my class. In the end the only motivation for me to actually try was to feed my need to "fit in". I hated the idea of not graduating with my class and being 'left behind'. So everyday, for 8 period's, i had 8 class's. All year. No lunch, no study hall's. And passed all but one. True alot of my friend's were busy having fun and going out and such, just enjoying being a senior b/c they had 2 or 3 class's a day. But in the end i was proud in myself and my own accomplishment's from what i had done.

 

buck your son sound's like me at that age. However I didn't have the attention of my parent's like you are giving your child (which is a good thing). i suggest working with him as much as possible and feeding his interest's as well. It was the only thing that worked for me.

 

bribery is nice but in the end won't work. same with medication. the med's they gave me were suppose to help me concentrate. but the reason why i wasn't concentrating in the first place is b/c nothing interested me.

[Conesmasher]

Well, when I was in school, I didn't have much to motivate me either. There was a time in fifth grade where, I started not turning in assignments and just leaving them in my desk.

 

I think that the biggest thing that you can do is show your son that you care. Another thing that would help is to have a parent-teacher conference, to also show that teachers really do care about you and want you to do the best you can. It's amazing, how showing that people care about how well you do, will motivate you.

 

Caring is what motivated me. I always wanted to do good, because I wanted to make my mom feel proud. It was just her and I for awhile, she didn't have much to show for life except her son, and I wanted to make her feel like she was doing something right.

 

I'm not trying to say that you don't care, but maybe your son doesn't see it as "caring", maybe he see's it as nagging.

 

Find out something that he wants, really really badly. Let him know what you really really want. See if you guys can both compromise, and get something taken care of.

[smokin5s]

Originally posted by Blowzilla:

Or just tell him every F equals 1 beating.. worked on me. I graduated in the top 5 of GPA's in my school

 

j/k.. You can take him to the "bad" areas of columbus and show him what his future will be like if he doesn't get his shit together.

wasn't there only like 5 people in your graduating class? tongue.gif

 

my suggestion would be to stop babying him about it....I'm sick if all the sissy parents who have to nurture their kids when they do something bad.... throw his ass a beating... worked fer me.

 

also, I'm on Adderol XR good stuff!

[Guest stevil]

Find a really hot tutor to help him.

 

I think I had ADD. I had trouble starting my homework, couldn't concentrate for very long on something, etc. I did really well in school considering that, but I always wonder if I would have been medicated how well I would have done?

[Buck531]

We tried adderal (and the XR stuff), didn't work for him. Started throwing up, etc. His body was basically rejecting it.

[copperhead]

I don't know what to suggest, but I'm similar to a lot of the people that posted here, in that I always did shitty in school. I just never cared to do homework, but I was always good at taking tests.

 

The only way that I managed to graduate on time was in high school, I was able to transfer to the county career center. I took electronics, had a lot of great teachers that TRULY CARED, and generally enjoyed myself. It's possible that the school he is in isn't the ideal place for him.

 

However, the problem he is having needs to be addressed as quickly as possible. I know that my changing schools was only a bandaid for my problem, I've been in three different colleges, with absolutely no direction, and failing classes left and right. OSU kicked me out for my grades. I would hate to see anyone turn out like me, unmotivated and uncaring.

[Berto]

bribery worked sometimes, knowing what life is like without education

 

but i remember at one point in middle school i got a C and my parents threatened to send me to boot camp if i didn't get better grades.

 

that was the final straw graduated highschool with honors and all that bullshit.

[supldys]

i dont know what the hell is wrong with kids these days but when i was growing up, me and all my friends would fear retribution from our fathers. If we screwed up we knew we were done for, sure we did bad stuff but if our fathers said something to us about it we shaped up.

I had a couple classes i did bad in middle school, i just really hated the teacher, but once my dad yelled at me a few times i got over it and i passed.

Im not saying to be a dick to your kid, or to hit him or anything, but your kid needs to understand when you tell him to do something and he feeds you a bullshit line, there will be consequences.

[girlygirl18t]

Bribes worked for me in school. I was almost a staight "A" student all the way through school. 2 b's and a c in 11 grade. I was being a slacker. Anyway I got $50 per A, $30 for a B, $5 for a C. Money makes us smarter. Too bad this doesn't work for student loans.

[Conesmasher]

Originally posted by Powered By Geo:

i dont know what the hell is wrong with kids these days but when i was growing up, me and all my friends would fear retribution from our fathers. If we screwed up we knew we were done for, sure we did bad stuff but if our fathers said something to us about it we shaped up.

I had a couple classes i did bad in middle school, i just really hated the teacher, but once my dad yelled at me a few times i got over it and i passed.

Im not saying to be a dick to your kid, or to hit him or anything, but your kid needs to understand when you tell him to do something and he feeds you a bullshit line, there will be consequences.

This is something that I call putting "the fear in them".....Something you need to establish at an early age. When you know that you've done something wrong, and are scared as shit as about what's going to happen.

[GRN96WS6]

Not being challenged could be a problem for him, don't they have accelerated classes out there? I know my little brother was in them and graduated HS with a 3.8GPA but flunked out of his first year of college. I don't know why he did and he is a smart kid and I tell him all the time to go back but he doesn't

 

He works for a marina making ok money but not what he could be making if he just applied himself got his degree and went into the working world.

 

My dad tried taking things away, moving him back home and in the end just stopped paying for his school, nothing worked for him. He now may be getting a job as a plant operator at a nuclear power plant and I hope that makes him want to go back to school.

 

Maybe your kid isn't getting challeged enough? Talk to him and ask him why he isn't applying himself, especially if you know he is smart. Don't let him be a "C" student either shoot high for him and encourage him to do his best.

[Sawbinder]

My dad went and got a bunch of ads for military schools and laid them on my bed and left a note that stated that I had been accepted and if my attitude did not change then thats where I was going till I was 18 or graduated. If that does not work drive him down town to look at all the homeless people living under the bridges and wandering the streets begging for a handout and ask him if he wants to be just like those people with no education and living on the streets.

 

GOOD LUCK!!

[xxxShaftxxx]

When I was in 5th grade I went through this same exact phase. My parents MADE me do my homework before anything else.. Every grade after 5th I've had straight A's. It works, just be an authoritiarian figure to your child and not let him do absolutely anything until he's done with his homework.

[cptn janks]

Here's the kicker though, when he gets in trouble at school and has detention or whatever, my wife won't fucking tell me cause she knows I'll be hard on him. It REALLY pisses me off. But that's another story.

you should talk to his teacher or something. dont parents have to sign dention slips? maybe ask the teacher to make it so both parents have to sign it?

 

i dont know what the hell is wrong with kids these days but when i was growing up, me and all my friends would fear retribution from our fathers.

+1 to that... hell, im 23 and i STILL fear retribution from my father.