Mattsn2o281 Posted December 5, 2007 Report Share Posted December 5, 2007 I was reading that thread about the bitch who thinks its cute to fuck around on her dude, and it just kinda struck me that its a less evil version of what im going through. I'd love to post everything in every fucked up aspect,, and show the true definition of a whore, but since i'm married to her for the time being, no more details, on the slim chance i figure a way get past this. But trust me this shit would blow your mind if you think the first story is bad... And yes, i am tore the fuck up as it looks like the last 8yrs of my life are down the drain at the moment, and the bitch is cryin that she doesnt want to loose me and how sorry blah blah fucking blah she is,she didnt know what she was doing, her friends made her etc etc. In all reality, i haven't left the bitch for good yet, i don't know why but yea, i need to hear some words from people who have been down this fucked up road before. I guess the question is, has anyone ever made a relationship come back after basicly every single cornerstone of the relationship has been destroyed. As it sits, There is no trust, love, respect, or anything which i can even see worth trying to build on. All i see is a halfway decent past, the fact that we do get each other, and the main reason, I married her, and am now bound in the eyes of god, and thats not something i can take lightly, regardless of the fact that she didnt seem to mind. Sorry for the fucking novel, and for putting this shit out here with no real details, but like i said, i need to hear what others think. Feel free to add whatever you think, and thanks... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Scotty2Hotty Posted December 5, 2007 Report Share Posted December 5, 2007 Put it in the toilet and flush it. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Pedro1647545510 Posted December 5, 2007 Report Share Posted December 5, 2007 Put it in the toilet and flush it. Exactly. If you don't trust her you might as well end it now. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
iwishiwascool Posted December 5, 2007 Report Share Posted December 5, 2007 Concurred. She will never respect you either for taking her back. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
87GT Posted December 5, 2007 Report Share Posted December 5, 2007 At this point marriage consoling maybe the only thing to save the marriage. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jackson1647545504 Posted December 5, 2007 Report Share Posted December 5, 2007 Both of you can make it work; if you both want it to work Better to loose 8 years than the next 50 Love is grand, divorce is ten grand My divorce was the best $684 I ever spent (lawyer is a family friend) Who people are is how they act; what they do ... if that makes sense Forgiveness is a cornerstone of the church In the end no one else really cares; we all have our own fucking problems ... sorry ... you'll move on quicker once you realize that Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
black00ws6 Posted December 5, 2007 Report Share Posted December 5, 2007 Leave the bitch.. Life is too short to not be 100% happy Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Big Steve Posted December 5, 2007 Report Share Posted December 5, 2007 I had a similar situation. It took sometime but if the slight feeling is there it could work. Time is on your side. I flipped out and delivered a cell block beat down on a person and a long friendship came a couple months after with the special person it could come out to be good. The only question is are you willing to wait and see? You are still there for a reason but is that reason a good one? You have to look at the next 8 years. but Jackson hit it right on the money! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mattsn2o281 Posted December 5, 2007 Author Report Share Posted December 5, 2007 Damn, kitchen that quick? Anyway, Yea i got time, and while i'm highly pissed about everything, and there will be some bad fucking consequences to the other parties involved down the road, Ill get to a point where i can at least look past the actions, or go out and get enough on the side to make shit even in my mind. We went through some rough shit about 4 years ago too, and came out the other side with a better relationship for it. But this one pushed it way to far and it wasnt just a 1 night or one time deal. So i dunno, she earn trust back, she may even be able to get respect back. But Worth it, i dunno. It's alot of time and feelings to give up, but at the same time, do i want to be doing this again in the next 8 yrs? Final thing to add, this girl saved my ass from getting locked up over some dumb shit back in the day, before i even new her really, and she has always had my back no matter how fucked up things have been between us, and thats hard as hell to find, and a major reason why i dont want to leave yet... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Big Steve Posted December 5, 2007 Report Share Posted December 5, 2007 Damn, kitchen that quick? Anyway, Yea i got time, and while i'm highly pissed about everything, and there will be some bad fucking consequences to the other parties involved down the road, Ill get to a point where i can at least look past the actions, or go out and get enough on the side to make shit even in my mind. We went through some rough shit about 4 years ago too, and came out the other side with a better relationship for it. But this one pushed it way to far and it wasnt just a 1 night or one time deal. You doing that on the side will not help any situation. Never do dirt for dirt(grandma sayin) will put you on the same level she is on. You my friend have a gut check situation. Get away from her and use that time for urself. No better meds than that! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
KillJoy Posted December 5, 2007 Report Share Posted December 5, 2007 We went through some rough shit about 4 years ago too, and came out the other side with a better relationship for it. Obviously. KillJoy Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Drewhop Posted December 5, 2007 Report Share Posted December 5, 2007 People who have been thru this situation first thought is revenge. But if you go out and fuck some other chick it will not make things even. It will make things worse. If there is a sliver of love left between you two and you want to make it work you CAN NOT do that. I have no idea what is exactly going on. But i caught a ex cheating on me years ago my reaction was total anger. I picked up a 50 gallon trash can and was gonna hit the dude in the head with it. Two sherriffs and my ex stopped me from making a mistake that would have put me in jail. Matt im a outsider if you still got my cell phone number feel free to give me a call if you need a outside opinion. If you dont have it send me a pm and i will send you my cell number again. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sciongirl Posted December 5, 2007 Report Share Posted December 5, 2007 a relationship is work... but i cant trust someone who does that and once that happens, theres no going back to the start. i can work through difference, trying times, mood swings, and even if they get ugly... but if they cheat, why do they need me anymore? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Science Abuse Posted December 5, 2007 Report Share Posted December 5, 2007 Leave the bitch.. Life is too short to not be 100% happy Persuing 100% happyness with net you a life long serch that will never end, and an overall happyness of about 10%. You'll never be anywhere near 100%, so you need contentment in there, too. Matt: Fact about you: Oyu're here asking, rather than just axing it. That mean that you are thinking it could work, or that you want it to work. So, as to what to do, you answered your own question. You know what you feel is right. Fact about you: Wake the fuck up. She did this once before, and she got away with it. She did it again, worse, and is expecting to cry and get away with it. It would be a HUGE diservice to you AND her if you let her get away with it. To put it bluntly, she has to pay. Doesn't matter what kind of person she is, she is learning something bad: I'll get away with it, and try harder not to get caught next time. "Once a cheater, always a cheater" only applies if the cheater is satisfied with the consequences. If she ends up on the curb for this, it will leave a very unpleasent memory. Her brain will then associate short term pleasure with long term pain...idealy. Advice? No one her can tell you what to do, but a thought: "If you want to go out and please yourself, then you can go out and support yourself too." It's not right that some one go out and act like single chick, then come back and reap the benifits of married life. Right now you are a crutch, that needs taken away. Have a separation, get some counseling. Don't let her have the kids (are there kids?). Also, never take relationship advice from single people. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Scotty2Hotty Posted December 5, 2007 Report Share Posted December 5, 2007 Don't go back. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SpaceGhost Posted December 5, 2007 Report Share Posted December 5, 2007 You are a bigger man than me, I wouldn't even think about reconciliation. Don't think or let her bring up that kids are a solution, and don't get her pregnant if you try to work it out. Wrap that shit, don't rely on her to take the pill, that would be the worst thing. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mrtbolt64 Posted December 5, 2007 Report Share Posted December 5, 2007 Walk away. No matter what you or she does, you will always have that in the back of your mind. Anytime a future argument might occur that cheating situation will raise its ugly head. Since she did it this time, she will do it again. You are probably her safety blanket and when she seeks excitment she will venture out again. Seen this to many times weather it be personal or threw friends. In most cases the couple eventually splits up. Too many women out there. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TTQ B4U Posted December 5, 2007 Report Share Posted December 5, 2007 marriage counseling can be a good thing. things on both sides of your relationship have happened for a reason and finding out that reason is worth something in my relationship. from there, you can take what you learn and fix what is broke and add in what is needed. it's a two way street. you have to ask yourself where you're at in yours. personally, marriage and relationships in general aren't easy and they require attention. do what you need to do, especially if there are kids involved. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
HotCarl Posted December 5, 2007 Report Share Posted December 5, 2007 Why even cheat on her now? Why not just leave her and be able to do what you want anyway? Then you can do as you please with a free conscience. Ive been through a VERY similar situation. Best advice, dont look at it as 'lost time'. Look at it as the past. You have had your time together, you had your moments together it was good when it was good but now its time to move on. You hooked up with this girl when you were what 19? Thats a LONG time especially in that period in your life to be with one person. You had your good times, have some self respect and move on. Revenge will not accomplish anything, and it might get you thrown in jail maybe worse. Use this time/experience as a gauge as what kind of woman she really is. And DONT let her use the excuse that her 'friends made her do it', thats the worst excuse Ive ever heard. I dont wont ask details but it sounds like it was an ongoing thing so she cant exactly use simple excuses like "i was drunk' to explain her actions. There has to be a point in time in which she thought about it, then thought about you and still decided to screw you over. If you ever feel like you want to take her back think about this. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mattsn2o281 Posted December 5, 2007 Author Report Share Posted December 5, 2007 Damn... Not really what i wanted to hear, but probably what i need to hear. Obviously, i do want to find a way to get past it, that is showing through in my posts, so ill just say it. I will also add that the fact that she fucked around isn't what has me ready to leave, i'm a realist when it comes to that shit, and the rule has always been come home and be honest. Ive fucked other girls, she has to, and a few guys, and its always been cool. we have always had a somewhat open relationship. so i guess keep that in mind. I'll add this in, i was gone for a year while alot of this happened, not all or it, but 75% happened while i was gone. Bottom line, The sex isnt whats got me pissed, the lying and the deception are. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mattsn2o281 Posted December 5, 2007 Author Report Share Posted December 5, 2007 And yes i have a very unique outlook on the boundries of a relationship. And its coming back to bite me. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Scotty2Hotty Posted December 5, 2007 Report Share Posted December 5, 2007 Bottom line, The sex isnt whats got me pissed, the lying and the deception are. Good, then toss her out like the bad fruit she is. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
KillJoy Posted December 5, 2007 Report Share Posted December 5, 2007 I married her, and am now bound in the eyes of god, and thats not something i can take lightly The sex isnt whats got me pissed I am attempting to determine if you are a religious person. Last time I checked, adultery was still a no-no. KillJoy Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SpaceGhost Posted December 5, 2007 Report Share Posted December 5, 2007 Well that's character, and well character in people doesn't change much. It's who they are. If you stay you will deal with this again. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mattsn2o281 Posted December 5, 2007 Author Report Share Posted December 5, 2007 no kids, and I think she understands how to equate short term pleasure with undesirable results. No, i didnt beat her ass or anything physical like that either. i'll just say i got my point across. i'm out for a few hrs, going to speak to a therapist for me, and look into setting up some type of counselor for her and i if i decide to hang around. Thanks all Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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