CJINOHIO03 Posted May 8, 2008 Report Share Posted May 8, 2008 Is it better to be happy or just content? I have been with someone for a few years and it seems to get worse and worse. I basically have no life outside of hers. Cant go out, hang out etc. She constantly calls me all the time where are you etc. On top that we fight and argue a lot and she bitches at me too. Sometimes she is ok so I cant say everything is bad about her etc. She is good to my children and rare occasion good to me. She does help me financially also. She even says I can quit working and she will pay everything till I get my degree etc. She has issues and always says will get help etc. What would you guys do? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TTQ B4U Posted May 8, 2008 Report Share Posted May 8, 2008 Sounds like she grew a pair of balls over time. IMO, it's cheaper to keep her but then you have to decide the price on your happiness. Is she your wife or just a girlfriend? My wife can be a bear at times too, but being in sales, I just had to figure out what she wanted and how I can work to find an agreeable way for her to get what she wants and me to get what I want. That's key man...find out what makes her tick and what she wants. If you can give it to her, she then has to be willing to do the same. If either of you bucks at that, then it's not going to turn out well. Don't feel bad....not everyone is meant to be together forever. Sometimes they do grow apart. Just do all you can and give it a good try. I'm pretty simple, I want sex, good food and I need my alone time/space. She wants some romance/date night fun, etc...which turns out great as once I do that I get great sex more often She does put a bit more burden on me for kid care, but then I do need pushed a bit on that front. I'm not a mom but have fun when I'm caring for the kids. She does work harder than me, but then I'm a spoiled sales guy. We made and still makes lists and have monthly meetings regarding the family. It's healthy, but even with a good marraige of nearly 19 years, we sought counseling and all is good. Do it now or else it will likely get worse. Don't be bashful.....asking for help and seeking a pro isn't a bad thing. Well worth the money. Believe me, my wife is a divorce attorney, and if you can work it out, it's always better. However, it takes two and a bit of work. Most issues stem from money or sex, so if it's not one of the two, then you're better off than most so there's an upside. Good luck....and for what it's worth...I'm in on page one (popcorn time) Is it better to be happy or just content? I have been with someone for a few years and it seems to get worse and worse. I basically have no life outside of hers. Cant go out, hang out etc. She constantly calls me all the time where are you etc. On top that we fight and argue a lot and she bitches at me too. Sometimes she is ok so I cant say everything is bad about her etc. She is good to my children and rare occasion good to me. She does help me financially also. She even says I can quit working and she will pay everything till I get my degree etc. She has issues and always says will get help etc. What would you guys do? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
87GT Posted May 8, 2008 Report Share Posted May 8, 2008 Try counseling if she agrees. It may help the situation. I always feel you should be in a relationship that makes you happy. Anything less then being happy is not fair to yourself. Money doesn't matter to me. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Nitrousbird Posted May 8, 2008 Report Share Posted May 8, 2008 Get out, and get out now. If you aren't happy with a person, what's the point? If you know you can't become happy, again, why stay? I'm am HAPPY with my relationship. Very happy. If I wasn't, I would have broke it off. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tractor Posted May 9, 2008 Report Share Posted May 9, 2008 if she's a girl friend, get married. that will cure the "needing your attention all the time" stuff. She'll want you to get the hell out and leave her alone more often;-) Evan Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
evil8 Posted May 9, 2008 Report Share Posted May 9, 2008 ATM? Does she? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
verse Posted May 9, 2008 Report Share Posted May 9, 2008 if she's a girl friend, get married. that will cure the "needing your attention all the time" stuff. She'll want you to get the hell out and leave her alone more often;-) Evan Not true at all. I think my wife's need for attention has doubled since we have gotten married. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MrMeanGreen Posted May 9, 2008 Report Share Posted May 9, 2008 After two marriages and a girlfriend that did the dame shit. Bail. Now. If not, it's your misery. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
CJINOHIO03 Posted May 9, 2008 Author Report Share Posted May 9, 2008 No we are not married and they are not her kids either. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tractor Posted May 9, 2008 Report Share Posted May 9, 2008 Not true at all. I think my wife's need for attention has doubled since we have gotten married. Be married a little longer and it will pass. Wife and I have been married I think 6 years and might as well been married 10-11. Now we learned a balance and all is well. Well just don't ask her:-) Evan Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
99ta Posted May 9, 2008 Report Share Posted May 9, 2008 suck it up and get your degree while she supports you, then leave. lol. seriously, everyone deserves to be happy. if you love her seek counseling, if your not sure, move one. one thing about counseling is she has to be willing to accept help. Good luck Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
wnaplay1647545503 Posted May 9, 2008 Report Share Posted May 9, 2008 I feel for you. Relationships can be very difficult at times. Just as I assume everyone who has been with a person as long as I have been with me wife, has done, you do wonder at times what it would be like "if only". I would suggest if you have true doubt, then you have already made up your mind and if you stay, your just prolonging the inevitable. Life is short in the grand scheme of things. If you have something, no matter how unconventional, thats works than I would say try to stick it out, but it appears that your situation isnt working. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
nyall86 Posted May 9, 2008 Report Share Posted May 9, 2008 ATM? Does she? AHAHAHAHA ... stick with her if she does that. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TTQ B4U Posted May 9, 2008 Report Share Posted May 9, 2008 Given that, I don't see what the question is then. Tell her :gtfo: No we are not married and they are not her kids either. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
HotCarl Posted May 9, 2008 Report Share Posted May 9, 2008 Normally I would totally say that you should get the hell out but is there something you might be leaving out? I mean, you've been together for a long time so there must have been some reason you stuck with her for this long right? Oh and the fact that she's good to your children should NOT be considered a plus. Their your fucking kids she better treat them right. As for the part about making more money than you and offering to help out financially. I have a strong opinion about this. I have a friend who was/is going through the same exact thing except his woman makes ALOT more but she is controlling as hell. Personally I think some woman/people in such a position use money simply as another relationship control. Think, once your financially dependant on her for everything she will literally own you and every minor transaction could likely be scrutinized by her simply because she paid the rent this month. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Science Abuse Posted May 9, 2008 Report Share Posted May 9, 2008 Is it better to be happy or just content? Wrong question. I think what you're asking is; Can one be happy in just being content, rather than happy by getting everything they want. The answer is yes, a definitely yes. It's harder to be happy when you get everything you want, true story. "You'll be happy as soon as you realize that you can be happy." Similar to the old "He who knows he has enough is rich." [quote name=moparmuscle What would you guys do?[/quote] Never ask that.... especially here. You're the only one who knows what to do. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SpaceGhost Posted May 9, 2008 Report Share Posted May 9, 2008 Joe if you quit your job and she helps put you through school and you dump her afterwards, that's a dick move. Be a Man. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Science Abuse Posted May 9, 2008 Report Share Posted May 9, 2008 Joe if you quit your job and she helps put you through school and you dump her afterwards, that's a dick move. Be a Man. Sounds like something a woman would do. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
thorne Posted May 9, 2008 Report Share Posted May 9, 2008 After two marriages and a girlfriend that did the dame shit. Bail. Now. If not, it's your misery. If your not happy whats the point? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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