Official Who Dey Cry / Excuse thread

[Main3s]

Guys this is probably the most embarrassing thing that has ever happened to me. I was at my in-laws house Sunday for dinner, and shortly after i had to go #2. My wife's brother was in the downstairs bathroom, so i went upstairs to use the master bathroom. I was about to take a dump, and I remembered something my friend told me called AC Slatering. AC Slatering is when you take a dump facing backwards on the toilet, just how on saved by the bell AC Slater always sat backwards on a chair. So when I was taking a dump, My stomach was facing the back of the toilet, and my back was facing the door. I heard footsteps coming up the stairs, and began to get nervous. Since AC Slatering is a tough position to get into, it requires taking off your pants. So there I am sitting in my wife's parents bathroom taking a dump with my pants off and facing the wrong way on the toilet. My dump was about halfway out when the footsteps became closer. I then turned around to see that I had not locked the door. Trying to finish as quickly as I could, I began pushing harder and harder. Suddenly, the door opened, and my mother-in-law stood there in shock staring at me. We made eye contact for a split second, and I was so embarrassed I wanted to die. I quickly finished up, got dressed, and ran out of the house as quickly as I could. I am so embarrassed and I hope my wife doesn't blabber about this, Ill die if anyone else finds out.

 

AC Slatering

 

Thanks for that.

[PGH STEELERS]

Thanks, Steerlerfan^ impressive analysis. So if Cincy sucks and rolled pitts twice this year...where does that put your team?

 

Talk trash when your team makes the playoffs and wins a game. Stealer nation is in flux. Your team has no identity without Troy P. Find a way to keep him healthy for more than a month at a time and you can rip the Bengals all you want.

 

Just wanted to see what Bunghole fans were here. Just giving you guys some crap

[ICEMAN1647545504]

Sam to save the thread... hehe...

[Ramsey]

Guys this is probably the most embarrassing thing that has ever happened to me. I was at my in-laws house Sunday for dinner, and shortly after i had to go #2. My wife's brother was in the downstairs bathroom, so i went upstairs to use the master bathroom. I was about to take a dump, and I remembered something my friend told me called AC Slatering. AC Slatering is when you take a dump facing backwards on the toilet, just how on saved by the bell AC Slater always sat backwards on a chair. So when I was taking a dump, My stomach was facing the back of the toilet, and my back was facing the door. I heard footsteps coming up the stairs, and began to get nervous. Since AC Slatering is a tough position to get into, it requires taking off your pants. So there I am sitting in my wife's parents bathroom taking a dump with my pants off and facing the wrong way on the toilet. My dump was about halfway out when the footsteps became closer. I then turned around to see that I had not locked the door. Trying to finish as quickly as I could, I began pushing harder and harder. Suddenly, the door opened, and my mother-in-law stood there in shock staring at me. We made eye contact for a split second, and I was so embarrassed I wanted to die. I quickly finished up, got dressed, and ran out of the house as quickly as I could. I am so embarrassed and I hope my wife doesn't blabber about this, Ill die if anyone else finds out.

 

My little sister (age 12) has gotten into a bad habit recently. Apparently she had just discovered from one of her friends that a guy's testicles are very sensitive, and she felt the need to test this. So a couple of weeks ago when I was in the shower she snuck in behind me and grabbed my balls, then started squeezing and pulling with all her might. It was hot in the shower and my balls were very loose, so needless to say it was very painful. And I'm not the big macho type that can handle these kinds of things.

 

I tried to grab at her and get her off but she was crouched down too far behind me to reach. Her hands wouldn't budge from my balls either, no matter how hard I tried to pry her off. After about 30 seconds of me yelling at her to stop, threatening her in all kinds of ways, I felt nauseous. My knees buckled and I fell to the shower floor. While still holding on, she started shouting crap about how strong guys' balls are so weak and vulnerable. Eventually she stopped and ran away, while I lied on the floor for another 15 minutes.

 

That night I tried to have a talk with her, and tell her that you can't do something like that. She's only 12, after all, and probably doesn't know any better. But the talk was absolutely pointless, she just played dumb the whole time, denying that anything happened. I got so frustrated that I walked out, but I couldn't bare to tell my parents about it. That's just too embarrassing for me to handle.

 

So for the last 2 weeks whenever it was just the two of us in the house she would sneak up behind me and try to grab my balls. Of course it was harder for her since I had clothes on unlike the time in the shower, but she somehow always managed to slide her hands up my shorts and squeeze just before I could turn around.

 

It's getting very dangerous now. Yesterday was the reason I decided to share my story here. She got a fierce grip on my left nut and I fell to my knees. She must have gotten good at it, as I had never felt this much pain before. I started getting woozy and losing focus, barely able to say anything to her. I passed out within 10 seconds.

 

I think this is what she wanted. I woke up in the middle of the den where I collapsed, completely nude, and sprawled out on my back. My balls ached like never before, and I'm pretty sure they were a shade of purple. I couldn't get up. My head was ringing, but I was able to make out the voices of two or three of her friends from school in her room.

 

I'm very worried that she doesn't know the real harm in what she is doing. I could've been neutered for all she knew. I can't leave my room without getting paranoid and constantly looking over my shoulder. I don't even shower or change my clothes anymore. Anything to avoid being naked around her. How do I get her to stop? I don't want to hit my sister, but that may be the only option. Help me

[AngryBMW]

Thanks, Steerlerfan^ impressive analysis. So if Cincy sucks and rolled pitts twice this year...where does that put your team?

 

Talk trash when your team makes the playoffs and wins a game. Stealer nation is in flux. Your team has no identity without Troy P. Find a way to keep him healthy for more than a month at a time and you can rip the Bengals all you want.

 

What a doucher. What is your excuse for this year? I mean you dont have the "cheap" shot on Carson's knee this year...

 

"Rolled" Pitt? Hardly. The Bungals won the series by 9 points TOTAL...compared to last year when the Steelers ROLLED on the Bungals with a combined ass beating of 45 points.

 

Off my nuts you bandwagon bitch.

-Marc

[HotCarl]

just a bengal fan giving you a hard time...good luck to your team.

 

Dont worry Im not living in a dream world we're NOT going to make it past the next round

[HotCarl]

What a doucher. What is your excuse for this year? I mean you dont have the "cheap" shot on Carson's knee this year...

 

"Rolled" Pitt? Hardly. The Bungals won the series by 9 points TOTAL...compared to last year when the Steelers ROLLED on the Bungals with a combined ass beating of 45 points.

 

Off my nuts you bandwagon bitch.

-Marc

 

 

Last year is last year, a win is a win.

 

My girl's a huge steeler's fan and her slutty, whore friend is a big cinci fan so trust me i had to hear it all.

[Scotty2Hotty]

At least there was a glimmer of hope unlike every other year. Not much to bitch about -- was fun to get to watch them for this long.

 

Amen.

[AngryBMW]

What a doucher. What is your excuse for this year? I mean you dont have the "cheap" shot on Carson's knee this year...

 

"Rolled" Pitt? Hardly. The Bungals won the series by 9 points TOTAL...compared to last year when the Steelers ROLLED on the Bungals with a combined ass beating of 45 points.

 

Off my nuts you bandwagon bitch.

-Marc

 

Jason, I have been patiently waiting on your witty retort...stop leaving me hanging!

-Marc