OsuMj Posted March 3, 2009 Author Report Share Posted March 3, 2009 Quick Someone send a craigslist nightlady to HIS house. Maybe the hooker will steal the egg off of the mantle.Oh... you're funny.That OSUmj dudes house.Oh.. still funny.That's a female. I know, it's crazy. I keep forgetting too:lol:Oh... holy shit.jk. that is pretty funny.... but if you're gonna send a hooker to my house make sure that 1.it's a man 2. he knows how to cook 3. he will clean my house.wait a minute... I think I'm trying to hire a 'husband'. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Disclaimer Posted March 3, 2009 Report Share Posted March 3, 2009 "Would it make you feel better if I drug my sack across your face, hmm?" Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SAMBUSA Posted March 3, 2009 Report Share Posted March 3, 2009 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ReconRat Posted March 3, 2009 Report Share Posted March 3, 2009 Oh... you're funny.Oh.. still funny.Oh... holy shit.jk. that is pretty funny.... but if you're gonna send a hooker to my house make sure that 1.it's a man 2. he knows how to cook 3. he will clean my house.wait a minute... I think I'm trying to hire a 'husband'.A husband shopping center (Husbands-R-Us) has just opened where a woman may go to choose a husband from among many men. The store is comprised of six floors, and the men increase in positive attributes as the shopper ascends the flights. There is, however, a catch. As you open the door to any floor you may choose a man from that floor, but if you go up a floor, you cannot go back down except to exit the building.So a woman goes to the shopping center to find a husband. On the first floor the sign on the door reads: Floor 1 - These men have jobs. The woman reads the sign and says to herself, "Well, that's better than my last boyfriend, but I wonder what's further up?" So up she goes.The second floor sign reads: Floor 2 - These men have jobs and love kids. The woman remarks to herself, "That's great, but I wonder what's further up?" And up she goes again.The third floor sign reads: Floor 3 - These men have jobs, love kids and are extremely good looking. "Hmmm, better" she says. "But Iwonder what's upstairs?"The fourth floor sign reads: Floor 4 - These men have jobs, love kids, are extremely good looking and help with the housework. "Wow!" exclaims the woman, "very tempting. BUT, there must be more further up!" And again she heads up another flight.The fifth floor sign reads: Floor 5 - These men have jobs, love kids, are extremely good looking, help with the housework and have a strong romantic streak."Oh, mercy me! But just think... what must be awaiting me further on?" So up to the sixth floor she goes.The sixth floor sign reads: Floor 6 - You are visitor 123,456,789,012,345 to this floor. There are no men on this floor. This floor exists solely asproof that women are impossible to please. Thank you for shopping atHusbands-R-Us and have a nice day.Had to do it... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
OsuMj Posted March 3, 2009 Author Report Share Posted March 3, 2009 tee hehe Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
OsuMj Posted March 3, 2009 Author Report Share Posted March 3, 2009 This floor exists solely asproof that women are impossible to please. Had to do it...Men are impossible to please!!! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SAMBUSA Posted March 3, 2009 Report Share Posted March 3, 2009 wat? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
OsuMj Posted March 3, 2009 Author Report Share Posted March 3, 2009 wat?yep. i said it. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Disclaimer Posted March 3, 2009 Report Share Posted March 3, 2009 (edited) Quit dating pansy men. Real men are pretty easy to please.1) Be hot2) Be hot3) Be bi4) Cook, Clean, and do 'woman stuff' around the house.I suppose it wouldn't kill you to have a little brains too. Edited March 3, 2009 by JRMMiii Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SAMBUSA Posted March 3, 2009 Report Share Posted March 3, 2009 I've been "pleased" for the last 15 years Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
OsuMj Posted March 3, 2009 Author Report Share Posted March 3, 2009 (edited) Quit dating pansy men. Real men are pretty easy to please.1) Be hot2) Be hot3) Be bi4) Cook, Clean, and do 'woman stuff' around the house.I1)fail - I happen to enjoy my sweatpants.2)fail - not enough time in the day.3)...4)fail - I've set two mild kitchen fires and generally suck at cooking.like I said. Edited March 5, 2009 by OsuMj i fail at typing/thinking/etc. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ross Posted March 3, 2009 Report Share Posted March 3, 2009 Jrmmiii #3 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Disclaimer Posted March 3, 2009 Report Share Posted March 3, 2009 Sweatpants can be sexy. In fact, I <3 girls in PJ sweatpants... and we can work on #3, have you met my girlfriend? (kidding)http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=U7yQ8Qkta7A Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
wrillo Posted March 3, 2009 Report Share Posted March 3, 2009 Quit dating pansy men. Real men are pretty easy to please.1) Be hot2) Be hot3) Be bi4) Cook, Clean, and do 'woman stuff' around the house.I suppose it wouldn't kill you to have a little brains too.some days I can even settle for "cute" for number 1 & 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ross Posted March 3, 2009 Report Share Posted March 3, 2009 Did i mention that i'm a pretty damn good cook? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
wrillo Posted March 3, 2009 Report Share Posted March 3, 2009 heres some laughs for everyone:http://www.metacafe.com/watch/1277415/dont_judge_too_quickly_we_wont/ Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
OsuMj Posted March 3, 2009 Author Report Share Posted March 3, 2009 some days I can even settle for "cute" for number 1 & 2see that... "settle for" ... you boys are impossible!!! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
OsuMj Posted March 3, 2009 Author Report Share Posted March 3, 2009 Did i mention that i'm a pretty damn good cook?are you trying to be hired as my male hooker who cooks and cleans for me? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Disclaimer Posted March 3, 2009 Report Share Posted March 3, 2009 I remember those! Those are good vids wrillo. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Disclaimer Posted March 3, 2009 Report Share Posted March 3, 2009 You're in a pretty tough field, so I understand the not cooking and cleaning... but if you're willing to support a stay-at-home boyfriend, I'm a quick learner. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
wrillo Posted March 3, 2009 Report Share Posted March 3, 2009 are you trying to be hired as my male hooker who cooks and cleans for me?Guys are hard to please? You give a guy a hooker, and he is gonna take it. You need "hooker tryouts" before you'll consider Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ross Posted March 3, 2009 Report Share Posted March 3, 2009 are you trying to be hired as my male hooker who cooks and cleans for me?is that a job offer? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ReconRat Posted March 3, 2009 Report Share Posted March 3, 2009 Who hasn't started a kitchen fire....Just as long as you don't set the cat on fire... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
OsuMj Posted March 3, 2009 Author Report Share Posted March 3, 2009 Guys are hard to please? You give a guy a hooker, and he is gonna take it. You need "hooker tryouts" before you'll consider omg, I just got this fantastic image of me sitting on my broken futon with a row of guys "trying out" to be my hooker. " number 3, could you flex again for me? uh huuuuuh, ok I think I've made my decision boys" Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
wrillo Posted March 3, 2009 Report Share Posted March 3, 2009 You're in a pretty tough field, so I understand the not cooking and cleaning... but if you're willing to support a stay-at-home boyfriend, I'm a quick learner.:lol:well if I can stay at home then hell, I want included in the tryouts! I can cook, and I'm a little OCD when it comes to bathroom cleaning!!! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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