Jump to content

God bless America...


Otis Nice

Recommended Posts

We're more free here than we know...

 

http://www.digitaljournal.com/article/310782

 

Marine Corps bans audible farting in Afghanistan

 

 

Washington - The United States Marine Corps has banned audible farting in Afghanistan because it is culturally offensive to civilians working with the military and members of the Afghan National Army.

The Military Times Marine Corps blog, Battle Rattle recently posted the news that "audible farting has been banned for some Marines downrange because it offends the Afghans."

The ban has caused a stir among former and current members of the military who question the reasoning behind the decision which has ignited a firestorm of comments from readers and fellow bloggers of Battle Rattle.

Military soldiers have already been required to obey regulations ordering them to not curse around members of the Afghan army or the civilians they encounter while on patrol. They are also under orders to not discuss women or politics with people from Afghanistan. But for now, breaking wind could earn them an appearance before their superior officers.

For the military that means no more gas blasters, bean bombers, flame-throwers or anal acoustics at night. The roar of morning thunder, air biscuits or flatulence by any name will no longer be tolerated. Anything but an inaudible passing of gas could get you in trouble if it's within earshot of an Afghani, according to Battle Rattle.

Blogger Gina Cavallaro writes about the ban on the offensive behaviour:

They’re not supposed to cuss because it could be misunderstood (that one goes out the window a lot). And they stay away from talking about politics, religion or girls because those topics could escalate into major disagreements (they can’t communicate anyway because of the language barrier).

But farting? That’s practically a sport. Ok, it’s not soccer, but a good contest could open the door for cross-cultural exchanges, jokes and other gallows humor.

Jim Campbell expressed his outrage over the decision by senior military officials and wrote: "So now we understand that Muslims in Afghanistan are offended by the sound of anal gas explosions but are quite comfortable with, beheading, stoning, female genital mutilation, pedophilia, amputations, and hanging or burning homosexuals."

A few commenter's asked, "What would Chesty think of this ban on farting?" Referring to Lieutenant General Lewis B. 'Chesty' Puller, the most highly decorated Marine in the history of the Corps. Puller, who was known a marine's Marine, had a no-nonsense attitude when it came to military conduct. He is known to every Marine who ever came out of Parris Island and served in the Corps.

Dian5 said, "Is this perfectly normal human function offensive only when it escapes from the body of an American? Are the natural born Afghanistan people immune from this digestive dilemma? If we are at the point in our relationship where this has become too offensive to ignore, then perhaps we have worn out our welcome and should immediately withdraw our troops."

The ban on farting has not been confirmed by the military and no mention of flatulence could be found in the Uniform Code of Military Justice.

 

 

Read more: http://www.digitaljournal.com/article/310782#ixzz1W5JY8n4z

Link to comment
Share on other sites

"culturally offensive"

 

so I suppose telling the Afghanistan people to "grow a pair" and deal with it wouldn't be inappropriate? I'm sorry sir, I didn't mean to relieve my body of undue pressure, my apologies. now, if you would excuse me, I need to go blow a hole in the head of some insurgents. I hope that doesn't offend you.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

This last part sums it up pretty well:

 

The ban on farting has not been confirmed by the military and no mention of flatulence could be found in the Uniform Code of Military Justice.

 

My guess is that some young grunts had a full on farting contest that got a little out of hand, and ONE of their Afghani counterparts made a complaint about it. As with everything now-a-days it got blown out of proportion to what you see in that article. I'm in the suck right now, and no one has told me not to do any of the things listed in that article. Hell, I try to make a point of being a known dickhead by burning as many of their poppy-stalk stacks as I can. If they hate me and my team more than the grunts, it'll take some heat off of them. They can go fuck themselves with their "culturally offensive" bullshit.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

You know what's culturally offensive? Going to a country were we weren't asked to be to do 'nation building'. I get why we went there in the first place, and it wasn't for that.

 

Bobby, please don't take that the wrong way. I have a huge amount of respect and admiration for our troops. Which is what makes me pissed for our troops that have had to go to Iraq/Afghanistan and risk their lives for these wars we shouldn't be in. That's what upsets me most about us being there. :fuuuu: Stay safe over there! :fuckyeah:

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Lol Tim that pretty much happened to meat work yesterday. I was a a kroger front desk to check out and I walk into a cloud of what I believe fat bastards farts would smell like after a night of drinking and white castles. As I walked up it smelled like someone died and without thinking I said outloud wtf. I then looked around to see a toothless dirty guy standing there with a grin...... why you son of what a ...
Link to comment
Share on other sites

Join the conversation

You can post now and register later. If you have an account, sign in now to post with your account.

Guest
Reply to this topic...

×   Pasted as rich text.   Paste as plain text instead

  Only 75 emoji are allowed.

×   Your link has been automatically embedded.   Display as a link instead

×   Your previous content has been restored.   Clear editor

×   You cannot paste images directly. Upload or insert images from URL.

×
×
  • Create New...