TTQ B4U Posted April 23, 2014 Report Share Posted April 23, 2014 (edited) Only a handful of folks here know, but the past 10 months have been the most challenging yet rewarding of my life. Last May I took over caring for my father who was quite ill as battled heart failure and COPD. He was also a victim of sever Elder Abuse at the hands of two individuals from my very own family that shall remain forever out of my life. At age 82 he has outlived his father and enjoyed many good years including some very fun times under the hood of a car and behind the wheel racing in his day. He even put on over 70k miles on my old '99 GTP that he upgraded with headers and an intercooler. Yeah....he was a car guy. My father was a rock; strong, fearless and a true leader at work, at home and during his time serving in Korea. His sense of integrity was just as strong and his loyalty never wavered. It has been several weeks since his death in the early hours a few Fridays ago on April 4th as he lay in my arms while we literally shared all we could during those final hours. Wednesday/tomorrow would have been his 83rd birthday and one that we still intend to celebrate in his honor. Dad I'm so very sad to see you gone from my life but I'm glad that you are no longer in pain. I don't really know what to gain by posting it here on CR, but it's taken weeks for me to even be able to type out what I have. To all those with parents still alive, if you're close to them in any way, call them or hug them tomorrow and every chance you get. " To live in hearts we leave behind is not to die " Thomas Campbell My Father - Restoration of his High School Photo http://i270.photobucket.com/albums/jj84/crms3er/img042copyweb_zpsb09d1fe5.jpg Edited April 24, 2014 by TTQ B4U Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
silverhatch Posted April 23, 2014 Report Share Posted April 23, 2014 Sorry for your loss Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mojoe Posted April 23, 2014 Report Share Posted April 23, 2014 Tim, it's a terrible feeling to have someone so close pass. I get where you are coming from. My dad is more out going now than he ever has been. We have become much closer. I often fear having to go through what you have just experienced. I feel for you and hope, with time, your sorrow is more bearable. I like that you intend to celebrate and honor his birthday. Tell story's of him and things he did. Make each other laugh if you can with them. It will hurt miserably, but some how makes things a little better. It's after midnight now, so Happy birthday to him. And a toast to him as well. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
zeitgeist57 Posted April 23, 2014 Report Share Posted April 23, 2014 I couldn't imagine, Tim. Very sorry for your loss. My prayers are with you and your family (the ones you still love!) in this tough time. RIP to your dad, yet happy 83rd to him. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Shawn89 Posted April 23, 2014 Report Share Posted April 23, 2014 Very sorry to hear. I have been going threw a very similar situation with my grandfather. If you need someone to talk to pm me Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Otis Nice Posted April 23, 2014 Report Share Posted April 23, 2014 Sounds like an awesome guy. Sorry for your loss. You and yours are in my prayers tonight, truly. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TTQ B4U Posted April 23, 2014 Author Report Share Posted April 23, 2014 Sounds like an awesome guy. Sorry for your loss. You and yours are in my prayers tonight, truly. Given your faith I'm sure you can appreciate the prayer we picked out together. Timothy 4:7 Truncated it reads: " I have fought a good fight, I have finished my course, I have kept the faith. " Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Captain_Panic1647545539 Posted April 23, 2014 Report Share Posted April 23, 2014 I don't bother to speak to my father, but if here were like yours I certainly would have. Glad you got to have those good times. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
PsychoticGaming Posted April 23, 2014 Report Share Posted April 23, 2014 Always hard to lose someone so close, sorry for your loss. I pray the Lord send comfort to you and your family. I can only imagine how hard it must be, I'm still graced by both of my parents but we never know what tomorrow brings. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
10phone2 Posted April 23, 2014 Report Share Posted April 23, 2014 sorry to hear that. I'm glad he was able to live a full life. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tim Davis Posted April 23, 2014 Report Share Posted April 23, 2014 Very sorry to hear Tim. Thoughts and prayers to you and those close to you. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
caseyctsv Posted April 23, 2014 Report Share Posted April 23, 2014 Tim, Sorry to hear about your loss. My family will keep you and your family in our prayers. It sounds like he was a great man and you were blessed to have that type of role model in your life. There simply are not enough of those types in this world today. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
POS VETT Posted April 23, 2014 Report Share Posted April 23, 2014 Tim, my deepest condolences. Sounded like he has lived a good life and left a legacy in you. Stay strong. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sledhead36 Posted April 23, 2014 Report Share Posted April 23, 2014 Glad you got to spend time with him, my father died when he was 51 in a accident. I was the typical young cocky kid who didn't call enough or spend time when I could. I have regretted it forever. I promised myself I would be a better dad than I was a son. Been true to my word. Captain Panic, not for sure what the situation is, as sometime there is nothing you can do. But give it another shot or at least forgive him for not being what you expected. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Richard Cranium Posted April 23, 2014 Report Share Posted April 23, 2014 Tim, I wish I knew what to say. When my father passed away I was completely unprepared. Even as a relatively intelligent person I somehow thought he was going to live forever. I'm still working to deal with it myself years later. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
6 Speed S4 Posted April 23, 2014 Report Share Posted April 23, 2014 Tim, Im sorry to hear, RIP. Me and my dad are very close so my world would be shattered. I can imagine its a very tough time. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TTQ B4U Posted April 23, 2014 Author Report Share Posted April 23, 2014 Thanks everyone. Today is going to be a rough day. I didn't sleep much either and haven't for a few weeks. What's even more difficult is tending to the estate and even going through pictures. The good news is we did have a great year. I was with him every hour of the nearly two weeks in the hospital including the entire last day. We enjoyed every father/son conversation; even through some very private confessional moments together. We laughed, cried and of course reminisced over all the stories that will live on forever. Of course I wasn't prepared to lose him, but he flat out told me I was all grown up now and it was time. It was a good death in that we litterally said our goodbyes and it was of his choosing to pull his oxygen mask off. He passed with dignity, respect and honor. I can only hope to face it with such courage. Thankfully it was relatively painless and swift. Once the mask was off he told me to leave and go to the hall. It was difficult but I did. Hats off to every single nurse at Riverside too. I've been there more nights than I care to admit and in their Critical Care Unit, they employ some of the strongest and most special people I've ever met. Truly heroic. The last nurse who I met and knew all of only a few minutes held him from the moment he removed the mask and treated him as if he was her father. She cried and held him tight. I have no idea how she musters the strength to do her job. Hats off to them all. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Zx2guy19 Posted April 23, 2014 Report Share Posted April 23, 2014 I'm sorry to hear this man, but as that phrase said, if they're in your hearts they never truly die. My dad is 48 but doesn't take the best care of himself and it often worries me because we are pretty close. I don't think anyone is ever truly prepared for the day they lose the ones that created them. I know I never will be. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Skinner Posted April 23, 2014 Report Share Posted April 23, 2014 Tim, I am truly sorry to hear of your lose . I went through the same thing last June with my Mother (17 year fight with cancer). Man reading your story has brought back so many emotions for me. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mallard Posted April 23, 2014 Report Share Posted April 23, 2014 Sorry for your loss and your words are a fitting tribute to what he means to you. I'm not sure how I will deal with this someday, but we've lost a few people in my wife's family recently which have been difficult. One thing I have learned is that you never truly 'get over it,' but you learn to accept it and to honor them everyday. The hole in your heart may never be filled, but they are with you every step of the way and wouldn't want you to stop living over the grief of their loss. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Otis Nice Posted April 23, 2014 Report Share Posted April 23, 2014 Given your faith I'm sure you can appreciate the prayer we picked out together. Timothy 4:7 Truncated it reads: " I have fought a good fight, I have finished my course, I have kept the faith. " I definitely appreciate that. My grandfather who I was very close to quoted Philippians 1:21. "For me to live is Christ and to die is gain." When you get a chance study Philippians 1 a little more. It wasn't until after he passed that I put everything into context and realized what he was going through/trying to tell me. I prayed last night man. I'll continue to do so. Stay strong. If you need someone to talk to PM me. I'm always down to get coffee or something too. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Aaron Posted April 23, 2014 Report Share Posted April 23, 2014 Sorry for your loss Tim. Thinking of your family. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Orion Posted April 23, 2014 Report Share Posted April 23, 2014 My mothers story is very similar. It was a long time before I felt "light" again, and it was some dudes from CR that helped me through it. I'll be praying for you, Tim. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jevans Posted April 23, 2014 Report Share Posted April 23, 2014 Sorry for your loss. Having your parents pass away is definitely very tough. My thoughts and prayers go out to you and your family. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rocky31186 Posted April 23, 2014 Report Share Posted April 23, 2014 Sorry for your loss. My dad's funeral is this Saturday. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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