Cordell Posted January 4, 2016 Report Share Posted January 4, 2016 Warning: Going to sound like whinning. So I'm 35, reached a point in my career where I can't move much higher, and my free time has turned into me sitting on my ass not doing much. The thing that bothers me is that I don't have fun anymore. I used to enjoy meeting up with car friends every weekend, but now it just doesn't happen as much. I suppose people moved on, found other things to do, or maybe they excluded me I don't know. I really enjoyed the experience of street racing, it was a bigger rush then going to the track. Of course as I've grown I have much more to loose and don't do that anymore. I have done most of the things I set out to do in life, sounds pretty sad and it is, I should've set my goals higher. Now I'm just bored and feeling down on myself. I'm working on my career, but I need to find something to get interested in. Something that will get me excited and give me something to work for, something that will be fun. I really hate where I am in life, I hate being so negative. It's really starting to take it's toll on everything day to day. I need to find a healthier outlet then drinking or depression. Suppose I should go back to counseling, but that doesn't seem like a fix to being bored. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
STEVE-O Posted January 4, 2016 Report Share Posted January 4, 2016 THere is nothing else besides cars that sparks any interest? I have always thought I enjoy cars to a point now hit really want to pursue skydiving more in a few years so one day I can BASE jump and see parts of the world. However since it is winter and no snow here everyone is inside and I go stir crazy like your talking about and it's boring as all hell and pretty much the only options are drinking or spending a lot of money to go do "fun" things inside somewhere Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Hwilli1647545487 Posted January 4, 2016 Report Share Posted January 4, 2016 Stop drinking. Stop complaining (negativity will only breed more negativity). Start eating better Start getting more exercise 35 is not too old to make new and more challenging goals. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SRTurbo04 Posted January 4, 2016 Report Share Posted January 4, 2016 You need to pick up the phone sometime. Why not join a seasonal sport. There are plenty of adult leagues ( that aren't too serious) great way to keep busy, have some fun, and meet new people. Hell join a book club, play online gaming ( as alot of us do) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Grudes Posted January 4, 2016 Report Share Posted January 4, 2016 Winter time sucks. There isnt much to do anyway so it just makes it worse. I spend alot if time playing video games in the winter and taking my dogs to the park. That seems to work pretty well for my boredom. As far as depression, yea I think you should talk to someone. Thats theyre job and maybe they can help you think up some things to do when your bored as well. That way your not sitting around stewing Maybe think about getting your pilots liscense... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SRTurbo04 Posted January 4, 2016 Report Share Posted January 4, 2016 You need to pick up the phone sometime. Why not join a seasonal sport. There are plenty of adult leagues ( that aren't too serious) great way to keep busy, have some fun, and meet new people. Hell join a book club, play online gaming ( as alot of us do) What about doing work on the house? Renovate a room ( plently of inexpensive ways to change a room ) What about building things? Such as wood working in your garage? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
o0n8 Posted January 4, 2016 Report Share Posted January 4, 2016 I was feeling that way a couple months ago and started lifting weights and my self-confidence has gone up with each workout. It's not a quick fix but it's a start and I'm already starting to see benefits in other areas of life. Counseling isn't bad, but I found that it didn't work for me as well as a good friend or 2 to just let me rant on occasion. What's something that you used to do that you enjoyed or something that you've always wanted to try but never pulled the trigger? If cost allows, now would be the time to give it a shot. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cordell Posted January 4, 2016 Author Report Share Posted January 4, 2016 Here is nothing else besides cars that sparks any interest? I have always thought I enjoy cars to a point now hit really want to pursue skydiving more in a few years so one day I can BASE jump and see parts of the world. However since it is winter and no snow here everyone is inside and I go stir crazy like your talking about and it's boring as all hell and pretty much the only options are drinking or spending a lot of money to go do "fun" things inside somewhere Not much sparks my interest unless it gets my adrenaline pumping, cars and racing have always down that. Not so much with my job, it was just easy for me to make a decent living at it. Stop drinking. Stop complaining (negativity will only breed more negativity). Start eating better Start getting more exercise 35 is not too old to make new and more challenging goals. I'm a naturally negative person, I need to work on that. All valid points. You need to pick up the phone sometime. Why not join a seasonal sport. There are plenty of adult leagues ( that aren't too serious) great way to keep busy, have some fun, and meet new people. Hell join a book club, play online gaming ( as alot of us do) I hate online gaming, it's worse then watching TV. My back is going to limit me at least for a while on a lot of activities. It's one of the reasons my job might just change, and that is very depressing for me. I've worked at getting to where I am and invested lots of time, and now it needs to change. It's the way I move through life trying to do everything I want as fast as possible, that has left my back broken, my mental health torn down, and my life over. I have said it many times, my wife is the reason I'm here, she has kept my drinking slowed down, kept me from living on the street, and tries to hold my life together when I can't. She wants to go get another second job, mostly because I me. Fuck it. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
STEVE-O Posted January 4, 2016 Report Share Posted January 4, 2016 Do you have any kids? I ask because if not what does your wife do with all of her free time? If your both sitting around it's different options than if it's just you etc... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cordell Posted January 4, 2016 Author Report Share Posted January 4, 2016 Do you have any kids? I ask because if not what does your wife do with all of her free time? If your both sitting around it's different options than if it's just you etc... I have a 14 year old daughter. My wife works full time, goes to college half time, and does the majority of the chores. She doesn't know what slow down means. In a lot of way like that we are complete opposites. Little things can make her happy, and little things just feel like more shit to deal with to me. My daughter is a lot like me, drives my wife crazy. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
STEVE-O Posted January 4, 2016 Report Share Posted January 4, 2016 I have a 14 year old daughter. My wife works full time, goes to college half time, and does the majority of the chores. She doesn't know what slow down means. In a lot of way like that we are complete opposites. Little things can make her happy, and little things just feel like more shit to deal with to me. My daughter is a lot like me, drives my wife crazy. Invest in things your kid is interested in it is a little slow and boring at times but gets you out if the house, grows the kid as a person, and you meet new different types of people that your normal interest wouldn't allow you to meet. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Duff1647545513 Posted January 4, 2016 Report Share Posted January 4, 2016 (edited) Going tanning will help with seasonal depression. Srs. And people tend to avoid negative people. Taking things for what they are and not looking at the shitty part of said thing definitely helps. There's very little in life that I get offended by or let bother me, it might take time and practice and a lot of keeping yourself in check as soon as you get frustrated or upset about something, but I enjoy the shit out off life with the attitude I take about life. Lighten up and try new things, don't be stuck in old ways and comfort zones. Edited January 4, 2016 by Duff Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lauren Posted January 4, 2016 Report Share Posted January 4, 2016 You sound depressed. Quit drinking first of all. Second you need to find something that stimulates you. Their are hobbies that don't cost a lot and their are hobbies that costs a ton of money. Hobbies quickly turn into obsessions so pick something realistic. If you pick something you can't afford you will be right back to being depressed but now it will be compounded. What are you lacking in life? How's your relationship with your wife and daughter? Perhaps you need nor quality time with both of them. Shameless plug, ever thought of ballroom dancing it's seriously one of the most stimulating activities a person could do either by yourself or with your wife. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
dsm_sleeper Posted January 4, 2016 Report Share Posted January 4, 2016 I think the elephant in the room here is depression. Until you get that under control, things won't be appealing and change will be overwhelming. Exercise and going back to counseling are good ideas. Try for a few months and see how things go. Good luck! Alcohol isn't helping. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Robochan Posted January 4, 2016 Report Share Posted January 4, 2016 I know you dont like to wrench out of work but feel free to come over and watch me struggle on my cars. Would be nice to have someone who knows what they are doing around. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
zeitgeist57 Posted January 4, 2016 Report Share Posted January 4, 2016 For $10/month and no long-term commitments, give Planet Fitness a try for a few months. From exercise machines to dumbbells/free-weights, it's a cheap way to get on some exercise equipment 24/7. I wanted to get back into weight-resistance workouts to get in shape (without buying equipment I won't use at home) and I'm very glad I joined PF. I agree: stop drinking and start exercising and that should kick-start a positive change in your body and mind. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SRTurbo04 Posted January 4, 2016 Report Share Posted January 4, 2016 (edited) The thing that bothers me is that I don't have fun anymore. I used to enjoy meeting up with car friends every weekend, but now it just doesn't happen as much. I suppose people moved on, found other things to do, or maybe they excluded me I don't know. . Maybe its not people are excluding you, but maybe they already have plans and maybe look into setting something up ahead of time. I know for me i never make it out to alot of Friday / saturday events mainly cause there posted the day off and im already busy. As i get older married kids ect i dont have a ton of free time to just head out for hours on end on a whim. As much as i used to do that when i was younger i just dont have the time. I can if i plan ahead of time ( im old blow me) Maybe try setting something up ( 2 weeks out 4 weeks ect) with a group of good friends. Hint hint Also i agree on the working out, take out your frustration on some weights, benefit is you get in shape. Edited January 4, 2016 by Paul Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cordell Posted January 4, 2016 Author Report Share Posted January 4, 2016 Maybe its not people are excluding you, but maybe they already have plans and maybe look i nto setting something up ahead of time. I know for me i never make it out to alot of Friday / saturday events mainly cause there posted the day off and im already busy. As i get older married kids ect i dont have a ton of free time to just head out for hours on end on a whim. As much as i used to do that when i was younger i just dont have the time. I can if i plan ahead of time ( im old blow me) Maybe try setting something up ( 2 weeks out 4 weeks ect) with a group of good friends. Hint hint Also i agree on the working out, take out your frustration on some weights, benefit is you get in shape. Look buddy, I know you have a wife and kid. It's what you wanted, I respect that. My daughter is 14 so her interest in hanging out with her parents is nothing like it was a few years ago, so enjoy your time with yours. There hasn't been much going on regularly except Cars and Coffee, so it's not like there is much of the Friday Saturday night stuff going anymore. I like the excersise ideas, not sure how I want to get started, and here's a peek into why my mind is so fucked up, I don't want to go by myself but I don't like meeting or being around new people. I don't know why I started this thread, now I feel worse. Up hill battle, I know how easy it is for some people to kill themselves. No I'm not going to. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cordell Posted January 4, 2016 Author Report Share Posted January 4, 2016 I know you dont like to wrench out of work but feel free to come over and watch me struggle on my cars. Would be nice to have someone who knows what they are doing around. If you have a warm garage, I'll come hang out and give you some advice if you want. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
vonrottes Posted January 4, 2016 Report Share Posted January 4, 2016 Depression, First thing.... Stop drinking all together. Exercise, it releases endorphins that will help with depression. Punching bags are your friend. Maybe try picking up a hobby to keep you busy in your spare time? Models? Photography? Learn Java and make android things? R/C? I mean photography, I know a few local models that a great to shoot with... Human interaction is good for you. R/C cars, Nitro or Electric IIRC there are races every weekend all year. Again human interaction with other people with a common interest.. Just some suggestions. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jewtoys Posted January 4, 2016 Report Share Posted January 4, 2016 1.) Obviously cut the drinking out completely 2.) Exercise. You don't want to go solo, or with anyone.... Hire a trainer, spending decent coin will motivate you to go. 3.) Clean eating 4.) Set goals and work towards them 5.) Read 6.) Volunteer 7.) Stop posting negative shit online, and get off your ass and make some changes. Only you can make those changes, posting about them isn't going to do anything... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Aaron Posted January 4, 2016 Report Share Posted January 4, 2016 This sounds like you need a more in depth solution, as the second half of the thread suggests. With that being said, I didn't see you out much last year at autocross. 2016 will be a big year, HPDEs, autocrosses, etc. Bring the Camaro out, and have fun? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
caseyctsv Posted January 4, 2016 Report Share Posted January 4, 2016 I think people above have covered the physical so, as for mental, Have you ever done volunteer work? Gone on a mission trip? I found it completely changed my perspective on life and refocused me on things that are truly important. I am most depressed/frustrated when focusing on myself, unfortunately that is what the world sells us. I am happiest when serving others and spending time with my family. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
caseyctsv Posted January 4, 2016 Report Share Posted January 4, 2016 You should consider a trainer - my wife and I started working out together with one about 3.5 years ago. Making that payment provides the motivation to continue. It fixed some back problems I was having as well. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MrMeanGreen Posted January 4, 2016 Report Share Posted January 4, 2016 Or, you can call your friends as Paul suggested and I've asked you to do a few times. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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