Need help finding parents.

[Mr Anderson]

I thought real hard before posting this. Serious matter to me at least. Most of you are adults here and so I would like your help. Well start it off I was not born here. I was adopted at the age of 1 year and a couple months. In an orphanage in San Salvador, EL Salvador. There was long civil war going on and lots of people were killed. I don't know my real birthday or my real name. I was found on the streets as a baby and in critical condition. Im assuming my parents were killed or they left me to die.

My question is should I look for my real parents. I want to fly back to my home country. I don't even know if I have brothers or sisters out there. Is there any government agency that could help me out with this? Its in another country and I don't even know if dna can help me out. My (adoptive) parents say its up to me. I don't even know if it will even be worth it. Should I be happy or pissed off that they left me. Please only serious answers. I am the only person in my bloodline and I would like to find someone that is related to me.

[Strictly Street]

Thinking long about a reply....

[vroddave]

wow.

[Likwid]

So first I thought this was going to end as an internet meme (like "haha roflcopter got you" or something like that)

In all seriousness, you have an amazing story and considering how you started, you're a very lucky man.

As you said it's going to be very hard, if not impossible to find your family, but if you do, what difference will it make? You have someone to be upset with, or you find out they're dead.

I imagine the immigration and naturalization department can help you on your way, El Savador may have a similar department but if they do it's probably not very well documented, especially through different administrations and the civil wars.

Be happy with your life, and everything your adopted family has given you (not saying you aren't) but just know what you gain compared to what your expectations are.

But just my $.02

[jbot]

if you have details on where you were found and dates, etc, you might consider contacting:

1. the orphanage in al salvador. if they don't have info about you there, then no one will

2. the local and regional government for san salvador and then see if you can dig up anything at the "federal" government level (or the central government for al salvador). they may have resources for this very thing since a situation like yours was probably not isolated.

i would at least try those two things before flying over to a foreign country with basically no leads other than an orphanage. do you speak spanish? if not, try to get hooked up with some spanish/english speakers (I'm sure there are plenty in cbus... try contacting the OSU spanish language department, i'm sure they'll be ecstatic to help you). i'm sure having someone (you or someone else) that can speak spanish will help tremendously.

all that said, consider the effect this could have on your parents as well. i'm sure they will put on a brave face for you when you tell them you want to find out more about your biological parents... but privately, what might they be thinking? i wouldn't speculate anything about you, your parents, and the kind of relationship you have with them and i'm certainly not saying you should feel bad for doing this, but i'm sure it can't be easy for them. in the end, it is your life, so i'm sure they are happy to let you find out what you can about your past.

good luck, whatever happens.

[Mr Anderson]

So first I thought this was going to end as an internet meme (like "haha roflcopter got you" or something like that)

In all seriousness, you have an amazing story and considering how you started, you're a very lucky man.

As you said it's going to be very hard, if not impossible to find your family, but if you do, what difference will it make? You have someone to be upset with, or you find out they're dead.

I imagine the immigration and naturalization department can help you on your way, El Savador may have a similar department but if they do it's probably not very well documented, especially through different administrations and the civil wars.

Be happy with your life, and everything your adopted family has given you (not saying you aren't) but just know what you gain compared to what your expectations are.

But just my $.02

Thanks. I know in my heart I can forgive them. I just want to find someone and it just sucks going through life and being made fun because I have no parents. Thats why I don't like to talk about this to anyone but I met some really nice people on here. Its just so hard going through life and not even knowing anything about me. While I do love my adoptive parents but I really miss not having my real parents. When I first found out that I was different and that my color of my skin was different. So I thank you for reading this and not making fun of me.

[Likwid]

Thanks. I know in my heart I can forgive them. I just want to find someone and it just sucks going through life and being made fun because I have no parents. Thats why I don't like to talk about this to anyone but I met some really nice people on here. Its just so hard going through life and not even knowing anything about me. While I do love my adoptive parents but I really miss not having my real parents. When I first found out that I was different and that my color of my skin was different. So I thank you for reading this and not making fun of me.

No problems man, jokes are jokes but someone looking for help is looking for help. I wish you the best of luck. As Jbot mentioned, if you have any leads you're definitely better off. But without names and/or addresses, it's going to be impossible to even start your search.

Also, try the Red Cross. As much as I fucking hate the organization, they may have some information you can use, especially if they sent in "aid" during the civil war.

[kawi kid]

if you have details on where you were found and dates, etc, you might consider contacting:

1. the orphanage in al salvador. if they don't have info about you there, then no one will

2. the local and regional government for san salvador and then see if you can dig up anything at the "federal" government level (or the central government for al salvador). they may have resources for this very thing since a situation like yours was probably not isolated.

i would at least try those two things before flying over to a foreign country with basically no leads other than an orphanage. do you speak spanish? if not, try to get hooked up with some spanish/english speakers (I'm sure there are plenty in cbus... try contacting the OSU spanish language department, i'm sure they'll be ecstatic to help you). i'm sure having someone (you or someone else) that can speak spanish will help tremendously.

all that said, consider the effect this could have on your parents as well. i'm sure they will put on a brave face for you when you tell them you want to find out more about your biological parents... but privately, what might they be thinking? i wouldn't speculate anything about you, your parents, and the kind of relationship you have with them and i'm certainly not saying you should feel bad for doing this, but i'm sure it can't be easy for them. in the end, it is your life, so i'm sure they are happy to let you find out what you can about your past.

good luck, whatever happens.

this is literally the first time i have ever seen you post something serious and it didnt make me pee alittle after reading!! wtg

mr. a this is something you really really need to think and pray about man. we are talking life changing decision.

[Mr Anderson]

Thanks jbot. I will have to contact them tomorrow and I use to speak spanish. Living with folks who speak english and I lost it. I have the location of the orphanage and the dates because my parents kept them. I don't really have any friends who speak spanish but I will get one. EL Salvador is a third world country and so I know its just going to be hard even going back there. Just thinking about visiting the place where I was born makes me cry.

[Mr Anderson]

this is literally the first time i have ever seen you post something serious and it didnt make me pee alittle after reading!! wtg

mr. a this is something you really really need to think and pray about man. we are talking life changing decision.

I know but this could help me get out of depression. Your right if I found out there dead I don't even know if I could go on. I just got to put on my happy face everyday and holding back my emotions is the hardest thing for me to do. Im sorry for asking so much but I don't really have any friends that I could ask this.

[Likwid]

Thanks jbot. I will have to contact them tomorrow and I use to speak spanish. Living with folks who speak english and I lost it. I have the location of the orphanage and the dates because my parents kept them. I don't really have any friends who speak spanish but I will get one. EL Salvador is a third world country and so I know its just going to be hard even going back there. Just thinking about visiting the place where I was born makes me cry.

Yah that's not an easy journey to make, physically or emotionally. But going "home" even if you don't find anything is a very powerful experience, having a spiritual and/or emotional link to anywhere is something few people really ever experience.

Either way you go with this, just know there is no going back to the way it was before...

[max power]

I don't really have any friends who speak spanish but I will get one.

Just go to a construction site. The supervisor is always bi-lingual.

Whatever you do, good luck. I dont think I'd go down that road, but thats just me.

[grober]

Start with the american embassy in that country they have to have some kind of record of you getting to the states.

[Mr Anderson]

Just go to a construction site. The supervisor is always bi-lingual.

Whatever you do, good luck. I dont think I'd go down that road, but thats just me.

Thanks. I got to get off because this subject is really making me sad and just thinking about it makes me cry everytime. Please post more replies because I need all the advice you guys have. As I cannot promise I will find them but I am going to try. Even if I was baby made out only through love and if they are poor Im going to do everything in my power to make them happy. I am thankful for the life I have here and Im glad bret help me find this group.

[madcat6183]

The biggest question is do you truly feel you are ready for the answer to what you are searching for? Because it could go very well for you, or it could go very bad for you. You need to be in a solid mental state in order to truly go forward with this either way.

I know I've only met ya once at Hooters, but you seemed to have a good head on your shoulders and it seems you could definitely proceed with this.

If you do go forward I definitely feel starting with the embassy in the country is a good place, although the orphanage might be a stronger 1st step.

If you google something like bi-lingual translators in columbus, or even just spanish professors, there are people that will help you.

Good luck either way and we truly are here for you.

[Artmageddon]

I just want to find someone and it just sucks going through life and being made fun because I have no parents.

If people are seriously making fun of you for for being an orphan/ adopted, they need their fucking teeth shattered with a steel toe boot.

If you are too nice of a guy to do so, I'll be happy to do it for you.

If you feel like you want to find your parents or other family members, give it a try. I would see what you can accomplish here from the states before I went there. Also, I know your adoptive parents say it's okay, but really make sure that it is, and if you love them and they love you, be very thankful for them. No matter what you find, make sure they know that you will always be their son.

[InyaAzz]

If people are seriously making fun of you for for being an orphan/ adopted, they need their fucking teeth shattered with a steel toe boot.

If you are too nice of a guy to do so, I'll be happy to do it for you.

I'm next in line.

[OsuMj]

good advice in here... make sure you're ready for the answer.

I think if it were me, I would try to find some information. But, at the same time, keep in mind that you're who you are right now because of the things that have happened in your life... you seem like a really good person and you should just remember that no matter what you find, it doesn't change the fact that you're a good person, it doesn't change that you have people who care about you, and it doesn't have to change where you're headed

[kawi kid]

I'm next in line.

ill take third........ dude you are a nice kid and cool as hell.

[Casper]

All I can say is Godspeed.

[KruelHouse]

In my opinion, I would do it. I'm sure that you have lots of questions that only they would be able to answer. I can promise you that it's going to be tougher than posting/reading about this topic on OR, but the outcome could very well pay off exponentially. Even if you don't get a chance to connect with your parents or any other family members, as Likwid said going "home" can be a really powerful experience in itself.

One thing to keep in mind: You were who you are when you get there, and you will be who you are when you return (possibly even enhanced to some degree). What I mean is that you've overcome quite a few obstacles, made some outstanding achievements, and have touched a few lives in your journey. As you continue to write the story of your life and attempt to close this one chapter, don't be discouraged if it doesn't go the way that you may have hoped; for there are, and will be many more monumental chapters to write.

Edited July 23, 2009 by KruelHouse

[chevysoldier]

The people that adopted you may not be blood, but they chose to take you in and love you. Who knows what happened to your birth parents. Your adoptive parents have watched over you almost all of your life. I do understand the need to find out the truth but it could also end in heartache. I'm sure they love you very much. Just because you have different DNA does that make them any less your parents? NO! You received a second chance in life, be happy for that. Keep this in mind too. If you do find your birth parents, they could try to fight to get you back. And PLEASE don't take this the wrong way, but what if they are horrible people? Now you risk going back to another country where you could be a lot worse off.

I hope this makes sense what I am trying to say. I don't always formulate what I'm thinking into word very well. Good luck Mr. A. Remember, you could be a lot worse off. You woke up alive this morning. The day you wake up dead, then you have something to be depressed about. I pray for your well-being.

[NightRider]

I'm next in line.

I know i've told you this before, but again...i think your a good kid Erick. This sucks man...i hope everything works out for you. And...you find..what your looking for.

As to art's comments, i wear size 12...hope you got a big mouth.

Good luck.

[Likwid]

I'll help with the asskicking.

Goodluck brother, just remember, family doesn't have to be blood.

[InyaAzz]

just remember, family doesn't have to be blood.

qft