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Bullying advice.


Anden

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My youngest age 9 has had some trouble with another kid at school over the past couple weeks, maybe longer. A couple weeks ago he was beat up at recess shirt half ripped off. No school personell noticed this. We noticed when he came home from school. The school said this would never happen again. Last friday the same kid bit him on the arm leaving a massive bruise. It took the school about an hour to get him to tell them what happend. It took another hour before we were even notified.

The school has done nothing about other kid. He is still in school maybe got a detention at best. The school's police officer filed a report but no charges.

The wife and I are submiting a letter to the school board so that we can speak to them. We are also going to the school to see the secuity video of both events. We are going to press charges against other kid ourselves.

We have pulled our son from school untill this is resolved.

Any one have any other suggestions or channels we could go through.

Thanks in advance.

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teach him to throw a punch. Give the bully a taste of his own medicine. Make sure son doesnt get ass kicked. Let him get in trouble and high five his ass when he gets home

This is what I did and it was literally the only time I ever got in trouble at school my whole life. My mom was sort of pissed but my Dad was proud. Kid never fucked with me again

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The mental damage from being bullied, and having someone else fight your battle for you is worse than any memory of an ass kicking. A fat lip or bruises earned in a schoolyard scrap is nothing, less than nothing, in the course of your life. Being scared and being teased will shape your entire adulthood.

I think boys need to learn how to cope with it, even if it means they lose a fight or two. In fact, fighting back doesn't very often go their way (too many people think the world works like Ralphie/Scott Farcas, and I got news for ya Scott wins more times than not). But, the resistance tells the bully this victim is not worth the effort or trouble, and sadly to some kids prone to this violence or resistance is all they respect.

Walking away and having you step in, or a teacher, just fuels their anger and it also can prompt other kids to tease, harass or label the bullied and that's worse than whatever happened to begin with.

Yes, your son's resistance will likely get him in trouble (with the school), but it will probably be better for his soul than any PC justice the school can deliver.

Before you think I know not of what I speak, I have dealt with this with my daughter and she learned, as I said, that the harassment stops when she stands up for herself.

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We always tell our kids to use words the first time on an attempt to stop it. If that doesn't work, tell someone in charge. If that doesn't work, beat some ass (didn't use those words). We have told alla of our kids that if it gets to the 3rd stage, we will take care of the school system. Their responsibility is to keep my child safe and when they fail to do so, the resulting circumstances are on them. Our kids have our 100% support as long as they follow the guidelines/rules we have set.

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We always tell our kids to use words the first time on an attempt to stop it. If that doesn't work, tell someone in charge. If that doesn't work, beat some ass (didn't use those words). We have told alla of our kids that if it gets to the 3rd stage, we will take care of the school system. Their responsibility is to keep my child safe and when they fail to do so, the resulting circumstances are on them. Our kids have our 100% support as long as they follow the guidelines/rules we have set.

This is what I'm teaching my daughter.

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I am more pissed about the schools lack of doing anything about it. After some conversations with other parents this is nothing new.

My kid can defend himself not putting anything in writing here but...

The child doing all the bullying is handicapped-ish so he does get away with anything. Another friend of mine has had some trouble out of him beating on his kids while he was over at his house. He was told to never come back.

My other child is handicapped so the rules are already laid out wich is why he probably doesn't fight back.

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If this other child is a special education student it can be very difficult to provide consequences. The student's IEP often times "protects" them from the disciplinary process the school has. I've been SPED teacher and SPED coordinator for eight years. If you want Pm me your number and I may be able to provide some advice.

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I say twenty bikers picking your kid up from school will get the point across

I'm in. Either this or put pressure on the kids parents to take more responsibility for their child. Although the old man beating his old lady may be the bigger issue, if that is happening. I tell my oldest son the same thing my pop told me.... never start the fight but make sure to finish it and i'll take care of the rest.

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teach him to throw a punch. Give the bully a taste of his own medicine. Make sure son doesnt get ass kicked. Let him get in trouble and high five his ass when he gets home

This is what I did and it was literally the only time I ever got in trouble at school my whole life. My mom was sort of pissed but my Dad was proud. Kid never fucked with me again

Right on the money!

When my oldest got kicked out of school for standing up for his little brother, and got in a fight with 2 bullies, I got called into the principles office. I told Mr Hugh's that if my son came home and hadn't done what he did he would have to answer to me. And then I would be back in Mr. Hugh's face with a whole different attitude.

The whole thing was dropped real quick. Of course this was 30 or so yrs back, and things have changed. Now the kid standing up to a bully gets in as much trouble (or more) than the offender. That right there is why bullying has grown to the point it's at now, imho. One good shot to the snotbox will usually take all the fight out of a bully.

I also think that not only should the bully's parents be sued, but the school needs to be included in the suit. Sounds to me like they are not providing a 'safe and healthy environment' for the boy who got bit.

Edited by ohiomike
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I never got in fights at school but I came close and my step dad told me "If you start one finish it but don't go looking for em and if some one says something about your brother or sisters or me and your mom or your dad beat the shit outta em" mom didn't like it too much :lol:

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skip the lawyers and the school board. Get a bunch of us to pick him up from school on motorcycles. At 9 years old all the kids will think he is so cool and the girls will love him. Give your son the joy of having everyone thinking he is a badass not that his parents are whiners that will tell on everyone

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Back in the day when I got picked on, I decked a kid and slammed his face into a gym locker. I got suspended, he got suspended, stitches, and a broke eye socket that required surgery and more stitches. He never said a word to me, tried to do anything, and word got around that I wasn't fun to pick on. I agree with the guys saying for him to stand up to the kid. Screw that "don't throw the first punch" suff as well. Hit him hard, hit him fast, and aim for the chin.

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I am more pissed about the schools lack of doing anything about it. After some conversations with other parents this is nothing new.

Get the other parents together and go to the press. Bullying gets lots of press these days, a school that has ignored multiple parents will get a TON of press. I work for a school, I can assure you this will get their attention.

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The mental damage from being bullied, and having someone else fight your battle for you is worse than any memory of an ass kicking. A fat lip or bruises earned in a schoolyard scrap is nothing, less than nothing, in the course of your life. Being scared and being teased will shape your entire adulthood.

I think boys need to learn how to cope with it, even if it means they lose a fight or two. In fact, fighting back doesn't very often go their way (too many people think the world works like Ralphie/Scott Farcas, and I got news for ya Scott wins more times than not). But, the resistance tells the bully this victim is not worth the effort or trouble, and sadly to some kids prone to this violence or resistance is all they respect.

Walking away and having you step in, or a teacher, just fuels their anger and it also can prompt other kids to tease, harass or label the bullied and that's worse than whatever happened to begin with.

Yes, your son's resistance will likely get him in trouble (with the school), but it will probably be better for his soul than any PC justice the school can deliver.

Before you think I know not of what I speak, I have dealt with this with my daughter and she learned, as I said, that the harassment stops when she stands up for herself.

My thoughts exactly!

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teach him to throw a punch. Give the bully a taste of his own medicine. Make sure son doesnt get ass kicked. Let him get in trouble and high five his ass when he gets home

This is what I did and it was literally the only time I ever got in trouble at school my whole life. My mom was sort of pissed but my Dad was proud. Kid never fucked with me again

This. Same thing. I was in ninth grade and was dealing with some pretty serious stuff. Kicked the Guy's ass, suspended from school..... punishment at home was five days skiing at Boyne. Not poor parenting from my patents, but affirmation that enough was enough.

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I'm sorry but some of these "oh write a letter or complain to the parents" replies are the reasons kids are such pussies and this world is going to shit. Its a great gesture and probably the "right" thing to do nowadays because everyone is passive aggressive but let me tell you it will solve shit for your kid if not make it worse

Yes I agree nobody wants their child in trouble or to be violent but there is only so much a kid should take before handling it their damn self. I'm not a parent but I know what its like to be a kid that is picked on all the time and I think I turned out pretty ok handling it the way I did

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