Need to vent and need advice

[TRMN8TR]

Thank you guys for sharing. It's been good to relate a little to some of your stories and makes me feel a little more normal to be taking it so hard. I half expected "STFU, at least he's still alive" kind of comments.

Today has been a good day. They got him out of his bed for the first time since his surgery on Mon and into a wheel chair. He was just happy to be out of his room for awhile. I'm glad I got to see that before I have to head back tomorrow. I know he'll get through it whether he walks again or not.

[blue03636]

I feel for you man. I'm going through a lot of shit right now with my mom, just try to keep it positive and hope for the best. Let me know if you need anything, you have my number.

[madcat6183]

Hey bro, I just went through some of this stuff this spring too, not as close a family member as a brother, but I lost my cousin and my uncle(same side of the family), within a week of each other.

The thing was, no one has ever been able to tell us/the family how she passed away. She was mid 30's, had her own business, and worked for another company both. Her and her BF got into an argument, and no one knows much else. Found her the following day in her car, don't know where, how, etc. Autopsy never showed anything, or at least they didn't tell us. They called my uncle midnight the next day when they found his contact info. It was a terrible service, my uncle adopted her with her mom who is now my aunt, because her dad was a huge loser. She had 2 brothers that are both complete wastes, live at home in their 30's, multiple kids with different people etc.

Then 2 days before the funeral, the same uncle got contacted that my uncles landlord had found him dead in his apartment. They called him at midnight just like the call for when his daughter passed away. It literally tore the family apart, emails were exchanged, phone calls made, people came in from all over the country.

Anyways, when it all happened, I didn't know what to do, I was sitting in bed at night, staring at the ceiling, not crying, but crying. Tears, and emotions for about 2 weeks straight. I ended up taking a day off work for my cousins funeral, and think I took a random day or 1/2 day and just sat home alone, just to calm myself.

Craig and I were going through some shit at the same time and honestly, we relied on each other a lot then. It was right around that awful Putnam event we went to, and the first Nelson round we went to.

I know none of us "know" each other in regards to life long friends, or family friends, but there's a bond with a lot of us, that most wouldn't understand. I think it's because in the end we trust each other with our own lives, and respect each others lives enough to ride and race together.

In the end, we are all closer than most know because of that. I know you have my number and if you need anything, just call or text bro. I spent a lot of time with my Fiance' and my dog during those days, and she really helped.

[Brownsfan1]

I'm sorry to hear about your brother. All I can say is look at the positive side of the situation. My grandmother was sick for about 3 years before she pasted away. Two of those years she was bed ridden and she had no idea who I was, it was one of the most upsetting things I had to go through. I hope he recovers well and stay positive.

[c7fx]

Well I have first hand knowledge of this times two..since I broke my neck in 98 and learned how to walk again ride again and race again only to break my back last year. The best thing you can do is be supportive without going over the top. Trust me I'm still dealing with a lot of this issues that come with being paralyzed.

Do your research and get him to a great rehab hospital for spinal cord injuries. I went to Shepherd which was awesome and helped a lot.

Just remember every spinal cord injury is different so try not to compare one persons injury to another. If you have any other questions give me a pm

[kiggy74]

Hang in there Brandon, and well wishes to your brother.

[jdonn]

Sorry to hear about your brother.. My father was in a accident on his motorcycle. He was driving up a moving-van ramp and the ramp slipped forcing him to fall to the ground. luckily the bike did not land on him however, he did land as such that he broke his C3-C7 and bruised his C-2. He can "walk" now, but not very well. He does not feel things the way others do. He always feels as if his entire body is asleep. Also, he has very little strength throughout his legs and his feet feel as if they are always cramped.

Watching my dad go through life after his accident has been trying, we went to BJ's up in Polaris Saturday and he almost fell from tripping over the carpet. What I/we have found to help in these situations is to encourage a different perception. Even though I know it hurts his self-esteem, we try to laugh about it and move forward. Every time I see him it seems as though things are the same if not worst even though he has had a LOT of surgery's. The thing to press him to remember is that he is not alone. What you need to remember is that you are not alone either. Talk to him, make sure he knows that you are open to him telling you his fears and than tell him yours. Keeping each other supported is very important... Be strong but also allow him to be strong.

I hope things get better, your family is in my thoughts and prayers...

[TRMN8TR]

I know none of us "know" each other in regards to life long friends, or family friends, but there's a bond with a lot of us, that most wouldn't understand. I think it's because in the end we trust each other with our own lives, and respect each others lives enough to ride and race together.

This is true. I call you guys my track family, and even if I'm having a horrible week at work or whatever the issue I know I can go to the track and its my great escape from everything. You guys are the best!

[TRMN8TR]

Well I have first hand knowledge of this times two..since I broke my neck in 98 and learned how to walk again ride again and race again only to break my back last year. The best thing you can do is be supportive without going over the top. Trust me I'm still dealing with a lot of this issues that come with being paralyzed.

Do your research and get him to a great rehab hospital for spinal cord injuries. I went to Shepherd which was awesome and helped a lot.

Just remember every spinal cord injury is different so try not to compare one persons injury to another. If you have any other questions give me a pm

Sent you a PM, thanks!

[TRMN8TR]

Sorry to hear about your brother.. My father was in a accident on his motorcycle. He was driving up a moving-van ramp and the ramp slipped forcing him to fall to the ground. luckily the bike did not land on him however, he did land as such that he broke his C3-C7 and bruised his C-2. He can "walk" now, but not very well. He does not feel things the way others do. He always feels as if his entire body is asleep. Also, he has very little strength throughout his legs and his feet feel as if they are always cramped.

Watching my dad go through life after his accident has been trying, we went to BJ's up in Polaris Saturday and he almost fell from tripping over the carpet. What I/we have found to help in these situations is to encourage a different perception. Even though I know it hurts his self-esteem, we try to laugh about it and move forward. Every time I see him it seems as though things are the same if not worst even though he has had a LOT of surgery's. The thing to press him to remember is that he is not alone. What you need to remember is that you are not alone either. Talk to him, make sure he knows that you are open to him telling you his fears and than tell him yours. Keeping each other supported is very important... Be strong but also allow him to be strong.

I hope things get better, your family is in my thoughts and prayers...

I'm sorry to hear about your dad as well. Sounds like it was a crazy accident. I hear my brother saying all the time that his legs from the knee down feel like they've fallen asleep. I wonder if this is a common sensation for someone with a spinal cord injury? Did this ever get better/worse for your dad?

[jdonn]

I'm sorry to hear about your dad as well. Sounds like it was a crazy accident. I hear my brother saying all the time that his legs from the knee down feel like they've fallen asleep. I wonder if this is a common sensation for someone with a spinal cord injury? Did this ever get better/worse for your dad?

My dad was a special case, he had a lot of scar tissue from all the surgery and he still hasn't recovered. He still has that feeling along with the feeling of a lot of pressure (like someone is squeezing his body). The good/bad thing about spinal injury's is that no one is the same and just because my dad is having such a hard time recovering, that doesn't mean that it will be the same for your brother. My dad was over 50 years old when this happened and he has a condition where his spinal cord canal was thinner than normal. This caused more damage then anything else... there was a lot more pressure due to the fact that his cord was constricted.

To answer your question though, I do think its a normal sensation. However, from what the doctors have told him, it normally does not last as long as this.

[ohdaho]

Take care of yourself too, im sure this is difficult since you're so focused on your loved ones...but if you're not ok, you cant take care of them. Emotionally and physically.

Find a physically outlet for all that stress and pent up emotion. Running is amazing. Working in any capacity is great both physically and emotionally.

[Photos by Marty]

Brando, I can't offer up a whole lot of advice, but I can offer up support. I dealt with my father's ALS eight years ago and know how frustrating it can be. Hit me up if you need to talk.

[TRMN8TR]

Thanks again to everyone for all the support. I had to leave and come back home this week, and I got the best news from my mom today. He has regained a small amount of feeling in his "rear" that he didn't have before, and last night he complained that his feet were cold, something he couldn't feel at all before. They also felt slight movement in his leg during rehab. They officially changed there diagnosis from a "complete injury" to a "partial injury" which means there's a little more hope that he'll regain some use of his legs.

Thanks again for the thoughts and prayers!

[madcat6183]

Good to hear man, just keep praying, and stay as positive as you can bro. You've got a lot of friends here, and your brother has a lot of us pulling for him and your family.

[blue03636]

Awesome news

[Scruit]

Headed in the right direction!

[r1crusher]

I'm sure it's good hear things are making some kind of turn for the better. Hang in there, Brandon!

[jbot]

hurrraaaaayyyy!! that's excellent news!

[donkason]

He's got this!!!! The human body is an amazing machine that consistently beats the odds. This news should put everybody in better spirits.

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