Seeing that you've joined in 2008, I would have thought you knew the normal characters around the forum. Myself and most of the board members know when certain people post a ride, what the expectations are for that ride. That's just how it is. I'm sorry that you got some bad news during the ride. If it effected you that much one of two things should have happened, you should tell the ride leader what was going on and see if they could work with you. Or, you drop off and head for home. Any ride at any pace is dangerous when your head isn't in the right place.
I was up sunday morning, geared up, ready to ride down and meet up with you guys, but I had tweaked some suspension the day before and didnt get a test ride on it after. That was enough to make me bail last minute. (Also only saw this ride at 1230 the night before so I would've been NinjaDoc'n it.) I know those guys that signed up for the ride, I knew that my head wasnt in the right place in the morning. So I gave up a beautiful day to play it safe and play with myself..... I mean play by myself on my bike.
Next time, just let everyone know whats going on! No one here is going to give you shit about mentioning something because you are concerned with safety or the pace.