SpecialEd

And so, to bed . . .

This is a logical fallacy. Scientific inquiry is in order here, and you damn well know it. Yours, sir, is a gratuitous assumption which can (and will, no doubt) be equally as gratuitously denied.

Are you asking for advice?

That question obviously belongs in another forum. WTF were you thinking?

Please excuse me momentarily while I run to the *quarto de banyo* to hurl. That muthuhfukin' Uber Eats drivah bettah git here sune or I'm gonna die.

Typical of OR. Love it!

. . . . . . Ah, fuck it. Nerf® Rival XVIII-500 for sale. New condition. First $10 takes it. Includes 50 rounds of 25mm ammo. Fuck the fucking squirrelz. I'm drunk and in desparate need of Chinese food; maybe chop suey--a totally American dish.

On the face of it, these data are, in fact, daunting, though the veracity of the source is, at best, questionable. In the interest of scientific inquiry, I welcome elaboration regarding your comment in a previous post of the "quite a few reasons" why you feel the squirrels will prevail in my scenario.

Preliminary results suggest you both may be correct. As I indicated in an earlier post, mine is an attempt to apply both Skinner's and Pavlov's findings regarding classical conditioning to a relatively simple personal scenario, i.e., invasive squirrels. Thusfar, I have noted a marked reluctance, on the part of a regular cohort of squirrels living in my back yard trees, to attempt to mount the cardinal feeder and consume the sunflower seeds within, after a period of approximately one month wherein the offenders were subjected to various body shots with the Nerf® gun from an average engagement distance of ~10 feet. Initially, the squirrels were brazen, returning repeatedly to feed within minutes of successful engagement with the gun (head and body contact with projectiles.) Currently, I have noticed behavior on the part of the rodents indicating a heightened sensitivity to the visual and audatory cues which have preceded the gunfire, e.g., flinching and stutter steps when I approach the window, and the sound of my wood floors creaking as I walk to grab the gun, etc. Often, this is enough to send them packing. However, if I leave the house for even half an hour, I inevitably arrive home to see one of two of the scoundrels on the feeder. In addition, I have noted on a few occasions that squirrels will approach the feeder, pause momentarily as if weighing this risk/reward scenario, then "decide" to bail--before I have made any sort on motion to engage them. I agree that the drive for nutrition is a strong one; we'll see how this all plays out once I'm no longer here each day to monitor them because of school.

This is not yer kid's olde skool sponge-tipped dart shooter. This gun hurls 25mm ball ammo at 90 fps. Not enough to kill, but certainly enough impact to give the squirrels pause before they mount and molest the red feeder again.

It's an experiment in classical conditioning. I'm trying to teach them to stay off the cardinal feeder (upper left in the photo, red in color.) Sort of a "summer school" for the loveable rodents; they need to learn about respecting the property of others. This is how I spend my summers . . . I have found that Smirnoff Citrus vodka helps me aim better. It's not at all about enjoyment; just another tool.

Okay. Bestiality. I'm a bit distracted. Shooting squirrels with a Nerf gun through the kitchen window.

Oh, I know what it is. Learned about it from my middle school gym teacher 😻

How does having sex with a cat translate into an excuse for an exhaust system upgrade? I was never very good at biology . . . or, for that matter, beastiality.

. . . aaaaaand so do GE's UFOs.

I can ask my cat to shit out a new exhaust system for either of you.

Here it comes . . .

By far, the hardest job I ever had was when I was an undergrad. I worked for a guy at a local airport taking pictures of people who were parachuting for the first time. I never knew where the hell they were going to come out of the plane, and had to run through a huge open field with a 35 mm camera and a zoom lens trying to get saleable pictures of these people before they landed. needless to say, by the end of that summer I was in the best physical shape I've ever been in my life 😅

I've heard the food there is amazing. As far as "tuk tuk" goes, I'd stay the hell away from it if I were you. Sounds obscene and potentially dangerous 😨

That's a long way from shovelin' cowshit 😆

I don't want to see anybody get butthurt here.

Wow, that's gonna be a long-assed ride on a moto. Can't wait to see that ride report. Don't forget to pack sunscreen and an M16.

Patching/paving roads in the middle of August comes to mind. Also making cold sales calls--commission only, no base salary, i.e., Yellow Pages salesperson. Why are phone books still with us????? I haven't looked at a Yellow Pages ad in decades.

Oh. My. God! What kind of work do you do now?