Evil gift advice needed

[Zecho]

Ok, this will be a bit odd but I'm running out of time.

I'm in need of something for my wife's brother's birthday on the 8th.

First off, he is a drummer for a Death Metal band (or three) and has been rated as one of the top 100 drummers of all time.

To put this into some perspective, the last few gifts I have bought him were an infant casket from the 1950's and filled it with bottles of liquor, the Anarchists Cookbook (original printing), an Evil Skull wienie roaster for the grill.

I need something along these lines, and something I can get into my hands pretty quick.

Get to thinking evil and let me know what you come up with.

[max power]

That gift in the pic should be enough to cover you for a couple of b-days.

[Zecho]

That, and all of the rest are previous gifts.

[Benyen Soljax]

damn dude, you shouldnt have used up those killer ideas so early. you gotta save something in reserve or youre going to burn out quick!

you could cut off your hand, but put a large bottle of liquor in it first so rigor mortis makes your hand a nice little carrying handle. that wont take long. oh and dont forget to have a skull tattooed on your hand at some point.

[NinjaNick]

http://youtube.com/watch?v=WhwbxEfy7fg

[Kip Drordy]

http://www.gourmetmikes.com/deadheathots.html

http://www.hotsauceworld.com/source.html

[Zecho]

damn dude, you shouldnt have used up those killer ideas so early. you gotta save something in reserve or youre going to burn out quick!

you could cut off your hand, but put a large bottle of liquor in it first so rigor mortis makes your hand a nice little carrying handle. that wont take long. oh and dont forget to have a skull tattooed on your hand at some point.

haha, forgot to mention that his wife is a mortician (and a pretty hot one at that).

[Benyen Soljax]

haha, forgot to mention that his wife is a mortician (and a pretty hot one at that).

PERFECT! youll just have to get her in on it.

[shittygsxr]

get him another infant casket and instead of booze put a dead baby in there, I am sure there are some dead babies in the dumpster behind the abortion clinic.

If that proves too difficult get him a house cat skeleton, they have them in some of the labs at OSU and they are pretty freaky looking

[Zecho]

get him a house cat skeleton, they have them in some of the labs at OSU and they are pretty freaky looking

There's a thought.

[kawi kid]

a stuffed dog like on scrubs........... "rowdy no!"

[R1Limited]

fuck it go all out- send him the head of the #1 drummer in the casket... no balls...

[kawi kid]

fuck it go all out- send him the head of the #1 drummer in the casket... no balls...

WINNAR

[InyaAzz]

get him another infant casket and instead of booze put a dead baby in there, I am sure there are some dead babies in the dumpster behind the abortion clinic.

If that proves too difficult get him a house cat skeleton, they have them in some of the labs at OSU and they are pretty freaky looking

HAHAHAHAHHAAHAH

[Zecho]

Ok, I've decided to start with a bottle of Absinthe, Jade PF 1901 to be exact. Anyone know where I can get one locally?

[Kip Drordy]

Ok, I've decided to start with a bottle of Absinthe, Jade PF 1901 to be exact. Anyone know where I can get one locally?

I don't think they sell Absinthe in the states; you have to order internationally. At least that's what I had to do a few years back.

[flounder]

Ok, I've decided to start with a bottle of Absinthe, Jade PF 1901 to be exact. Anyone know where I can get one locally?

Absinthe containing wormwood, (AKA Thujone) is illegal in the US and will have to be purchased online.

[NinjaNick]

I never heard of the stuff. After reading wikipedia, I'd rather just stick to the normal shit such as, whiskey, vodka, beer.

Absinthe was portrayed as a dangerously addictive, psychoactive drug. The chemical thujone, present in small quantities, was blamed for its alleged harmful effects. By 1915 absinthe had been banned in most European nations and the United States. Although absinthe was vilified,[2] no evidence has shown it to be any more dangerous than ordinary liquor. Its psychoactive properties, apart from those of ethanol, have been much exaggerated.

Ban

Spurred by the temperance movement and wine makers' associations, absinthe was publicly associated with violent crimes and social disorder.

Albert Maignan’s "Green Muse" (1895): A poet succumbs to the green fairy.A critic said that:

“ Absinthe makes you crazy and criminal, provokes epilepsy and tuberculosis, and has killed thousands of French people. It makes a ferocious beast of man, a martyr of woman, and a degenerate of the infant, it disorganizes and ruins the family and menaces the future of the country.[24] ”

Edgar Degas’ 1876 painting L’Absinthe ("Absinthe") (now at the Musée d’Orsay) epitomized the popular view of absinthe 'addicts' as sodden and benumbed. Although he mentioned it only once by name, Émile Zola described their serious intoxication in his novel L’Assommoir:

“ Boche had known a joiner who had stripped himself stark naked in the rue Saint-Martin and died doing the polka—he was an absinthe-drinker.[25] ”

In 1905 it was reported that Jean Lanfray murdered his family and attempted to kill himself after drinking absinthe. The fact that he was an alcoholic who had drunk considerably after the two glasses of absinthe in the morning was overlooked, and the murders were blamed solely on absinthe.[26] The Lanfray murders were the last straw, and a petition to ban absinthe in Switzerland was signed by over 82,000 people.

In 1906 Belgium and Brazil banned the sale and redistribution of absinthe, although they were not the first. Absinthe was banned as early as 1898 in the colony of the Congo Free State.[27] In Switzerland, the prohibition of absinthe was even written into the constitution in 1907, following a popular initiative. The Netherlands banned absinthe in 1909, followed by the United States in 1912 and France in 1915.

The prohibition of absinthe in France led to the growing popularity of pastis and ouzo, anise-flavored liqueurs that do not use wormwood. The Pernod distillery moved their absinthe production to Catalonia, Spain,[28] where absinthe was still legal[29] but slow sales in the 1960s eventually caused them to close down - even though a few microdistilleries continued to exist in the area.[30]

In Switzerland, the ban drove absinthe underground. Evidence suggests small home clandestine distillers have been producing absinthe after the ban, focusing on Les Blanches or Les Bleues as it was easier to disguise a clear product as non-absinthe.

Many countries never banned absinthe, notably Britain, where absinthe had not been as popular as in mainland Europe.

Source: Wikipedia

[Zecho]

Jade Absinthe PF 1901

Country of Origin: France

Notes:68% Alcohol Content, Distilled Absinthe. According to the manufacturer, PF 1901 is a tribute to what is the best known and most widely sampled pre-ban absinthe: Pernod Fils. PF 1901 takes its name from the year in which the original Pernod Fils distillery in Pontarlier was struck by lightning (!) and caught fire. When the distillery was rebuilt and repaired, the out-dated alembics were replaced by the most modern equipment of the time. The old alembics were either destroyed by the fire and sold for scrap or sold off to smaller distilleries. The Combier Distillery purchased two of the 1100 liter stills and installed them along with the 8 smaller stills which had been a part of the distillery since 1894. The importance of this history, and especially the authenticity of these two circa 1870's alembics, was not overlooked when Jade Absinthe Originator Ted Breaux chose the Combier Distillery in which to make Jade vintage absinthe clones.

My first impression of this absinthe is that it's very good, but it's not quite Pre-ban Pernod Fils. Based on my comparison with Jade and the sample of Pre-ban that I have tasted, I think much of the difference has to do with the age of the product. Let a bottle of Jade sit undisturbed in a basement for almost 100 years and we'll just see how it compares then.

It isn't often that I am able to relax enough that one glass of properly diluted absinthe can have a profound effect on me, but this stuff hit me hard. One of the peculiarities of Jade absinthes is the cork used to seal the bottle, which I always seem to break on removing and have to replace. On opening the bottle, I was struck with the smell - very strong fennel in my opinion. This is a very pretty absinthe, with the color in the glass being an intriguing goldish green. On dilution, the louche is perfect, as always with Jade absinthes. The flavor was creamy, with a hint of caramel and just a touch of the Nouvelle-Orleans tang. You will want to dilute this absinthe well, as the alcohol has a little natural bite, but not unpleasantly so. There is a lingering black licorice aftertaste. This absinthe is not bitter at all. I'm sure wormwood is in there, but it's harmonized so well with the other flavors that it is quite hidden in the flavor. Jade Absinthes are all top shelf, you can't go wrong with any of them. This one is my second favorite, with Jade Absinthe Edouard being first in line, by a very narrow margin.

Jade PF 1901 is a post-ban absinthe and meets the requirements for sale in the US.

[e-flores]

have you checked out the local taxedermist. some of the them will actually have furs and skulls and such of ramdom animals for sale. maybe find something cool in there?

[Kip Drordy]

The problem with Absynthe is that the alcohol level is so high, around 140 proof, that if you drink to much of it your drunk will be greater than any psycho effects of the wormwood. So like a shot or two at most is all you really need, but that really isn't enough of the wormwood to have a good trip. At most you'll get a little introspective and have crazy converstaions.

Have fun!!

[John]

get him the most brutal gift ever...NOTHING!

[flounder]

Jade PF 1901 is a post-ban absinthe and meets the requirements for sale in the US.

No sense in buying a preban bottle.. That means that there is no thujone in it which in that case its just a bad tasting liqueur...

Order something online from overseas.. Thats what I do. I have a bottle of Absinthe 35 sitting here right now. Its 3.5 times stronger then a normal bottle.. A typical bottle only has 10mg of thujone and this one has 35... there is a bottle that has 100mg and actually says for experts only on the bottle. There is no sense in buying it if doe not dontain the good stuff its known for.

[NinjaNick]

Get him a copy of an old 1980's David Hasselhoff movie.