Things you wish you could say at work

[Casper]

Ahh... I see the fuck-up fairy has visited us again...

I don't know what your problem is, but I'll bet it's hard to pronounce.

How about never? Is never good for you?

I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.

I'm really easy to get a long with once you people learn to worship me.

I'll try being nicer if you'll try being smarter.

I'm out of my mind, but feel free to leave a message...

I don't work here. I'm a consultant.

It sounds like English, but I can't understand a fucking word you're saying.

I can see your point, but I still think you are full of shit.

I like you. You remind me of when I was young and stupid.

You are validating my inherent mistrust of strangers.

I have plenty of talent and vision. I just don't give a damn.

I'm already visualizing the duct tape over your mouth.

I will always cherish the initial misconceptions I had about you.

Thank you. We're all refreshed and challenged by your unique point of view.

The fact the no one understands you doesn't mean you are an artist.

Any connection between your reality and mine is purely coincidental.

What am I? Flypaper for freak!?

I'm not being rude. You're just insignificant.

It's a thankless job, but I've got a lot of karma to burn off.

Yes, I am the agent of Satan, but my duties are largely ceremonial.

No, my powers can only be used for good.

You sound reasonable; time to up the medication.

Who me? I just wander from room to room.

[magley64]

how about paging yourself over the intercom, without changing your voice? (i did that on my last day of my last job)

[zerocrash]

Good stuff!!

[SAMBUSA]

Nice thing about workin on the RR. We can say just about anything we want. Those are pretty mild in comparison to what is said on the rail.

[Kip Drordy]

How about, "Man this acid Joe in accounting sold me isn't doing shit."

[redbarron77]

This list is going to be making the rounds where I am working!!!!

[kawi kid]

Nice thing about workin on the RR. We can say just about anything we want. Those are pretty mild in comparison to what is said on the rail.

same thing with driving truck..... for awhile my handle on the cb was "squatin chicken"

[walther_gsp]

I'll try being nicer if you'll try being smarter.

I have actually used that one at work, but not in a long time. Man I wish I saw this thread 2 days ago. I'm going to work a good half dozen of those in before midday tomorrow if it kills me.

[SAMBUSA]

same thing with driving truck..... for awhile my handle on the cb was "squatin chicken"

Pretty much the same profession. We just haul more at one time.

[Fonzie]

Shhhhiiitttttt.......I used to openly wear a shirt at the railroad that said "Fire me.....PLEASE!!!"

Wore another one with silhouettes of a rat pullin' along a donkey that said "I don't give a .... ..."

[SAMBUSA]

Shhhhiiitttttt.......I used to openly wear a shirt at the railroad that said "Fire me.....PLEASE!!!"

Wore another one with silhouettes of a rat pullin' along a donkey that said "I don't give a .... ..."

I still do. Shit I remember when you first started. Culture shock?

[JonS]

"words hurt my ears"

[gsxr750girl]

That shit is great!

[Big Chief201]

good find, you hear shit like that at my job all the time the whittier you can be the better.