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Things you learn from a porno

Sam1647545489

By Sam1647545489
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Sam1647545489

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1. Women wear high heels to bed.

2. Men are never impotent.

3. When going down on a woman 10 seconds is more than satisfactory.

4. If a woman is masturbating alone in her bedroom, a strange man will always walk in and she will not scream with embarrassment, but rather insist he have sex with her.

5. Women smile appreciatively when men splat them in the face with sperm.

6. Women enjoy having sex with ugly, middle-aged men.

7. Women moan uncontrollably when giving a bj.

8. Women always look pleasantly surprised when they open a man's trousers and find a cack there.

9. Women always orgasm at the exact same time men do.

10. A bj will always get a woman off a speeding ticket.

11. All women are noisy fucks.

12. People in the 70s couldn't bang unless there was a wild guitar solo in the background.

13. A common and enjoyable sexual practice for a man is to take his half-erect penis and slap it repeatedly on a woman's butt.

14. Men always groan "OH YEAH!" when they cum.

15. If there is two of them they "high five" each other. (and the girl isn't disgusted!)

16. Double penetration makes women smile.

17. Asian men don't exist.

18. If you're walking in the park and come across a guy and his girlfriend having sex in the bushes, the boyfriend will insist that you shove your cock in his girlfriends mouth.

19. Nurses suck patient's dicks.

20. Men always pull out.

21. When a woman is sucking a man's cock, it's important for him to remind her to "suck it".

22. Assholes are clean.

23. A man ejaculating on a woman's butt is a satisfying result for all parties concerned.

24. Men don't have to beg.

25. When standing during a bj, a man will always place one hand firmly on the back of the kneeling woman's head and the other proudly on his hip.

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