Green Bastard Posted June 22, 2012 Report Share Posted June 22, 2012 my wife and I are getting ready to adopt a baby (due in oct). we have almost gotten burned once doing this but we had not made payment when the mother backed out before. my question is, is there a way to adopt and avoid lawyers. I don't want to pay nearly 10k and have her back out at the last second. she seems pretty set in stone in not wanting the baby (she is a long time family friend), but I just don't want to throw a lot of money away. so is it possible to just have her sign over legal rights and have something of an open adoption? or do I have to go through the process of getting a lawyer? I don't mind going the lawyer route, but like I said, I just don't want to get burned at the last second. please keep opinions to yourself, I don't want talked out of it, we are prepaired to have a child. I'm just looking for facts from someone who may have gone through it or knows what they are talking about. tia Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
acklac7 Posted June 22, 2012 Report Share Posted June 22, 2012 my wife and I are getting ready to adopt a baby (due in oct). we have almost gotten burned once doing this but we had not made payment when the mother backed out before. my question is, is there a way to adopt and avoid lawyers. I don't want to pay nearly 10k and have her back out at the last second. she seems pretty set in stone in not wanting the baby (she is a long time family friend), but I just don't want to throw a lot of money away. so is it possible to just have her sign over legal rights and have something of an open adoption? or do I have to go through the process of getting a lawyer? I don't mind going the lawyer route, but like I said, I just don't want to get burned at the last second. please keep opinions to yourself, I don't want talked out of it, we are prepaired to have a child. I'm just looking for facts from someone who may have gone through it or knows what they are talking about. tia I know you don't want other peoples opinions but dude you're asking for a massive headache. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
RC K9 Posted June 22, 2012 Report Share Posted June 22, 2012 This is going to get good. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
iwashmycar Posted June 22, 2012 Report Share Posted June 22, 2012 lawyer up Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TTQ B4U Posted June 22, 2012 Report Share Posted June 22, 2012 lawyer up ^^ This. I'm not sure what the ultimate costs involved are but adoption isn't something you want to do without ALL bases covered. Think about it; it's not just what could happen in the beginning, it's about down the road. Is it worth risking a couple 2-3 years from now something popping up that could remove your child from your custody or cost you tens of thousands to fight later. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Patterson Posted June 22, 2012 Report Share Posted June 22, 2012 Get a Lawyer. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SRTurbo04 Posted June 22, 2012 Report Share Posted June 22, 2012 Keep it clean boys Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TTQ B4U Posted June 22, 2012 Report Share Posted June 22, 2012 Keep it clean boys Paul as a moderator :lolguy: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
zeitgeist57 Posted June 22, 2012 Report Share Posted June 22, 2012 A very close friend of mine in FL and his wife adopted a little girl from a messed-up young woman in town, and it was a nightmare. He and his wife are successful business people so they certainly had a lawyer, but I remember some of the horror stories they went through in adopting Bella. All is good now, but there were court hearings and the baby momma ended up being a f**king freak show. Unless you want to take care of any legal disputes 100% by yourself down the road - including any possible legal documentation mcsteaks - get a lawyer. This is not buying a $1,500 car; it's ensuring that the legal responsibility of that child is yours...well documented and court-supported! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LJ Posted June 22, 2012 Report Share Posted June 22, 2012 I know you don't want other peoples opinions but dude you're asking for a massive headache. This. As dumb as it sounds, I suggest the OP watch the 16 and Pregnant where the girl lets a family member/close family friend adopt her child. She literally keeps taking the child back and then giving it back. All kinds of lawyer battles and so on. It's pretty messed up. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
RC K9 Posted June 22, 2012 Report Share Posted June 22, 2012 Is Phil the dad and the girl selling her baby your brother's ex? Serious question. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
AWW$HEEET Posted June 22, 2012 Report Share Posted June 22, 2012 Is Phil the dad and the girl selling her baby your brother's ex? Serious question. as outrageous as that sounds, it is completely and utterly possible. i say that with the straightest face i can maintain. http://gifsforum.com/images/gif/lol/grand/nxkih3.jpg.gif Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Green Bastard Posted June 22, 2012 Author Report Share Posted June 22, 2012 Is Phil the dad and the girl selling her baby your brother's ex? Serious question. no. to everyone else who has been helpful, thank you. I want to do it through a court, I just didn't know if the lawyer was needed. ill start doing some research for a lawyer now though. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mrs.cos Posted June 22, 2012 Report Share Posted June 22, 2012 Absolutely the lawyer is needed. I wish you luck in this. Adoption is a highly stressful event, especially if you know the person. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
10phone2 Posted June 22, 2012 Report Share Posted June 22, 2012 I commend you for wanting to adopt and raise a family, but aren't you folks short on money? You are taking on a sizable financial commitment when things seem like it's iffy for you folks. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
10phone2 Posted June 22, 2012 Report Share Posted June 22, 2012 Keep it clean boys I see you got renamed at work. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Green Bastard Posted June 22, 2012 Author Report Share Posted June 22, 2012 we will have no financial problems raising a child. the child will never go without anything it needs, and my wife and I are willing to sacrifice things we want. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BloodRed Posted June 22, 2012 Report Share Posted June 22, 2012 Yes you will need to get a lawyer to get get the custody of the child switched over to you. My wife and I tried this about 4 years ago. After spending the weekend with the baby in the hospital, an hour before we were set to go home, the mother changed her mind. So I wish you luck and hope and pray you do not have that happen to you or anyone. As for the costs, I have a good friend that is a partner at a law firm that pratices family law as well as other things. He was pretty much working for free, so our retainer was only $3k, and he said if all things go smooth that is all it should have costs. Court costs alone were close to $1,500. Luckly, he was able to get the largest portion of the money back for us since we were not pursuing another adoption at the time. Let me know if you are interested in his info. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
KennyFKINPowerz Posted June 22, 2012 Report Share Posted June 22, 2012 You can always go to China. My mom and step dad did that about 6 years ago. I didnt really agree with their choice but I know that it was much easier process and a lot less money. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
RC K9 Posted June 22, 2012 Report Share Posted June 22, 2012 we will have no financial problems raising a child. the child will never go without anything it needs, and my wife and I are willing to sacrifice things we want. That is commendable. I hope you both are prepared for the drama that will ensue due to the fact that you guys have a personal relationship with the mother. My wife and I have thought about adopting, but it would have to be a situation where we did not know the mom, and there would be no other contact with her whatsoever after the child is ours. If you feel the potential drama in this siuation is worth it, more power to you, and like I said before, your point of view is commendable. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Green Bastard Posted June 22, 2012 Author Report Share Posted June 22, 2012 thanks rc k9, the mother came to us and asked if we would adopt. my wife and I have not discussed weather or not its going to be an open adoption, I'm assuming it will be, being that its a friend of the family. prolly wont be open for the first year at least though. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
2highpsi Posted June 22, 2012 Report Share Posted June 22, 2012 we will have no financial problems raising a child. the child will never go without anything it needs, and my wife and I are willing to sacrifice things we want. Not to be a dick, but I imagine you are underestimating the costs associated with having a child. If your sacrifices are: not putting a cam in your Camaro, Keeping the 42" LCD instead of upgrading to a 55", or cutting out that $1,000 vaca you had planned, prepare to be fucked and in need of government assistance. If your sacrifice is something more like not buying that brand new GT500 you were about to pick up, then maybe. Do you have an extra 20k sitting around? I hope so cause you will need it. Look for an added 300 per month to upgrade your insurance to family plan. Probably 2k worth of copays in the first year. $1,500 worth of formula clothes, bedding, toys, etc...... you get the idea Again, I am REALLY not trying to be a dick. It just seems like the 10k worth of legal BS involved is almost a buffer to weed out the people that shouldn't adopt. Yes, I am of the opinion that if you require gov assitance to raise a child, you should not be able to adopt Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Not Brian Posted June 22, 2012 Report Share Posted June 22, 2012 Hmmm tank of gas or diapers.. Meh, this mullet ain't gonna flow in the wind by itself Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Green Bastard Posted June 22, 2012 Author Report Share Posted June 22, 2012 ya, I understand the costs involved with children, its definately a long term commitment. I already have family coverage at work, and I'm not really worried about things like a new tv, or going on vacation. Im also willing to sacrifice my car if need be (though id rather put it in a garage for a few years lol). another thing they use to weed people out is bankruptcy. if you have ever filed, you cannot adopt. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Green Bastard Posted June 22, 2012 Author Report Share Posted June 22, 2012 Hmmm tank of gas or diapers.. Meh, this mullet ain't gonna flow in the wind by itself please keep the trolling to the other thread you made. besides I haven't had the camaro for a while now. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Recommended Posts
Join the conversation
You can post now and register later. If you have an account, sign in now to post with your account.