Why your team sucks.

[ImUrOBGYN]

Some people are fans of the Cleveland Browns. But many, many more people are NOT fans of the Cleveland Browns. This 2014 Deadspin NFL team preview is for those in the latter group.

http://deadspin.com/why-your-team-sucks-2014-cleveland-browns-1626915245

 

For you Cincinnati fans:

http://deadspin.com/why-your-team-sucks-2014-cincinnati-bengals-1626463239

 

Of course, if you're a fan of another team, you can easily find yours, too. Figured these'd be the two obvious choices to post here.

[Not Brian]

Kind of on topic

 

[ForeverMaker]

Last time I went to a Browns game they didn't even score a TD.

[Sturg1647545502]

Last time I went to a Browns game they didn't even score a TD.

 

I'd be more surprised you went to a game & they scored a touchdown.

[Littleguy]

Some nice quotes about Houston from the Texans page.

 

"Not that I expect anything less from the citizens of Houston, which is the worst city in Texas. You gotta work real hard to be the shittiest city in Texas. I mean, Dallas is right there, and Dallas is everything wrong with American urbanity. But Houston is worse. It's hotter than red death. Traffic is shit. Everyone is dumb. Going to the mall food court counts as fine dining. No one goes to Houston on purpose. It's Phoenix with humidity. One day a giant mosquito swarm will consume the city entirely."

 

"Houston is what would happen if The Blob swallowed Atlanta, rolled sideways a few hundred miles, and then slowly rotted in the middle of a poisoned bayou. It's hot, totally disordered, crime-ridden, flat, and strapped into some kind of shape by ring roads like an obese man stuffed into five layers of Spanx. Please note that I like it a lot!"

 

Pretty funny stuff.

[jeffro]

Go browns!

[ImUrOBGYN]

Some nice quotes about Houston from the Texans page.

 

"Not that I expect anything less from the citizens of Houston, which is the worst city in Texas. You gotta work real hard to be the shittiest city in Texas. I mean, Dallas is right there, and Dallas is everything wrong with American urbanity. But Houston is worse. It's hotter than red death. Traffic is shit. Everyone is dumb. Going to the mall food court counts as fine dining. No one goes to Houston on purpose. It's Phoenix with humidity. One day a giant mosquito swarm will consume the city entirely."

 

"Houston is what would happen if The Blob swallowed Atlanta, rolled sideways a few hundred miles, and then slowly rotted in the middle of a poisoned bayou. It's hot, totally disordered, crime-ridden, flat, and strapped into some kind of shape by ring roads like an obese man stuffed into five layers of Spanx. Please note that I like it a lot!"

 

Pretty funny stuff.

Fucking hilarious.

[Dr. Pomade]

All of these are fantastic. A+