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F-ing Tinder


BigOxley

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its amazing how badly people let themselves go here. if i'm flying anywhere, on the way back to wisconsin, i can always find the gate of the flight headed to milwaukee. just have to look for the gate littered with packers shirts and cows. when i go anywhere warm (florida, etc), i feel like i've been transported to an alien planet with a whole different species of human. its absolutely incredible. i will have to take some screen shots of the pictures of women here on tinder.

 

I met a cardiologist that works in Aspen, but is from Wiscondin and his family is still here. He said per capita there are 4x more cardiologists on staff in Wisconsin compared to Colorado.

 

I made sure to import my girlfriend from out of state.

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This is the best thread I have read all week. Kudos to everyone here being open and sharing. I have a friend who regales me via snapchat on similar things. Every one of them makes me chuckle.

 

All of my buddies are married, and all of them want to look at my phone for pics, or hear stories. being happily married is great. Being married and miserable, or dealing with someone who gives zero effort is not worth it.

 

It's not bad being (relatively) young, single, educated, in shape, and successful. Leaves quite a few options open. If I didn't have my kids 50/50, and a busy career, I could get into a lot of trouble.

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All of my buddies are married, and all of them want to look at my phone for pics, or hear stories. being happily married is great. Being married and miserable, or dealing with someone who gives zero effort is not worth it.

 

It's not bad being (relatively) young, single, educated, in shape, and successful. Leaves quite a few options open. If I didn't have my kids 50/50, and a busy career, I could get into a lot of trouble.

 

how those guys feel i bet

 

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If we are sharing...here are a few of mine from before I was with my woman now (not from Tinder lol)

 

First time I used it I just was wasted living on campus, just swiped right on everything, didn't care. Got a match on the first one like 30 seconds into using the app. Messaged her with the address of the party we were at, she showed up in like 15 minutes. Had some massive titties, I ended up getting her to flop em out in front of everyone at the party multiple times. Decided not to fuck after that lol

 

A few weeks later got some sorority chick, ended up meeting up at Chumlee's and we both got wasted. Went over to her sorority house, stayed the night, woke up in her (I assume) roommates bed with her roommate in it and Tinderella gone... Had no clue where I was for about 30 minutes and ended up sprinting around the 3rd floor of this place until I figured out where the stairs were, then bolted out the front door and sprinted from 15th ave. all the way back to my place on Norwich. We ended up being pretty good friends, still not sure if I fucked either her or her roommate that night.

 

 

From there on out it was typical chipotle dates or just late nights talking and drinking out on my porch. Actually met some pretty cool chicks on there, this was before it turned into a hoe fest I think, if there ever was a time like that. Got a few one nighters from it, somehow ended up down off East Livingston to boink a chick one night, she had a dude for a roommate and didn't know his name and he didn't speak english and only stayed there like 2 or 3 times a week. He walked in on us on the kitchen counter....that was awkward

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If we are sharing...here are a few of mine from before I was with my woman now (not from Tinder lol)

 

First time I used it I just was wasted living on campus, just swiped right on everything, didn't care. Got a match on the first one like 30 seconds into using the app. Messaged her with the address of the party we were at, she showed up in like 15 minutes. Had some massive titties, I ended up getting her to flop em out in front of everyone at the party multiple times. Decided not to fuck after that lol

 

A few weeks later got some sorority chick, ended up meeting up at Chumlee's and we both got wasted. Went over to her sorority house, stayed the night, woke up in her (I assume) roommates bed with her roommate in it and Tinderella gone... Had no clue where I was for about 30 minutes and ended up sprinting around the 3rd floor of this place until I figured out where the stairs were, then bolted out the front door and sprinted from 15th ave. all the way back to my place on Norwich. We ended up being pretty good friends, still not sure if I fucked either her or her roommate that night.

 

 

From there on out it was typical chipotle dates or just late nights talking and drinking out on my porch. Actually met some pretty cool chicks on there, this was before it turned into a hoe fest I think, if there ever was a time like that. Got a few one nighters from it, somehow ended up down off East Livingston to boink a chick one night, she had a dude for a roommate and didn't know his name and he didn't speak english and only stayed there like 2 or 3 times a week. He walked in on us on the kitchen counter....that was awkward

He just wanted a bologna sandwich.....fuck

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All of my buddies are married, and all of them want to look at my phone for pics, or hear stories..

 

Sometimes us happily married guys pretend like we are interested in our "over 30" single friends escapades because we feel bad that they are "the leftovers" scraping the bottom of the barrel for other "leftovers". Sometimes I act interested just so they don't feel left out. It's actually something that makes me feel sad/bad when I see the (one guy in particular) who is one of my good acquintances stance when he was telling me that I was an idiot for getting married at 27... And now (at 33, as is he) he has professed for about 2 years how he doesn't think that he can find a suitable mate and that it worries him severely because all of his friends are married and he can't find a decent girl. So, what does he do? He goes on Tinder dates and bangs chubby girls.

 

Anyone with kids will tell you that it is the single greatest blessing in life. My biggest worry is that some men will find a mate when it's (nearing) too late to have them (safely). Or worse... (As someone stares Tinder/etc being the bargain cave of the relationship world) they have to settle for the "I don't want kids" kinda woman.

 

Sorry, all this faithfulness and kid-talk makes me sound like s GOP candidate.

 

I'm proud of my marriage, is it not cool to be proud of it in this day and age? Should I keep telling my buddies "man, you got the life buddy! Banging chicks, living in an apartment in the short north, driving a c300..."

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I'm proud of my marriage, is it not cool to be proud of it in this day and age? Should I keep telling my buddies "man, you got the life buddy! Banging chicks, living in an apartment in the short north, driving a c300..."

 

Nothing wrong with a solid marriage and being happy. However its not nearly as entertaining to hear about as crazy psycho chicks out there.

 

I have a lovely lady friend who I wouldn't trade for anything. That being said it still fun to hear the horror stories.

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Lol, you guys. It's great that you're all married with kids, but this is a thread about banging sloots with very little effort. Give us some pre-marriage stories.

 

I don't know what having a wife and kids is like. I don't know what having a billion dollars is like...I'm sure it's super fucking cool but that doesn't make my life any less cool to me.

 

I'm not going to be on my death bed saying "I wish I didn't bang that one girl" I'll guarantee you that.

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Sometimes us happily married guys pretend like we are interested in our "over 30" single friends escapades because we feel bad that they are "the leftovers" scraping the bottom of the barrel for other "leftovers". Sometimes I act interested just so they don't feel left out. It's actually something that makes me feel sad/bad when I see the (one guy in particular) who is one of my good acquintances stance when he was telling me that I was an idiot for getting married at 27... And now (at 33, as is he) he has professed for about 2 years how he doesn't think that he can find a suitable mate and that it worries him severely because all of his friends are married and he can't find a decent girl. So, what does he do? He goes on Tinder dates and bangs chubby girls.

 

Anyone with kids will tell you that it is the single greatest blessing in life. My biggest worry is that some men will find a mate when it's (nearing) too late to have them (safely). Or worse... (As someone stares Tinder/etc being the bargain cave of the relationship world) they have to settle for the "I don't want kids" kinda woman.

 

Sorry, all this faithfulness and kid-talk makes me sound like s GOP candidate.

 

I'm proud of my marriage, is it not cool to be proud of it in this day and age? Should I keep telling my buddies "man, you got the life buddy! Banging chicks, living in an apartment in the short north, driving a c300..."

 

 

 

you should be proud of your marriage. i was, for the first five years. the last five years sucked, and the last two were intolerable. yet i stuck with it for the kids' sake. (they say never to do that, but easier said than done). sure, i'd rather be happily married---but it just wasn't going to happen. having kids is an amazing job, incredible responsibility, and my kids take priority. but i don't have them 50% of the time, and they will be 18 and out of the house in less than 10 years.

 

there are plenty of people just like me, who just got unlucky and married a douchebag. and then there are plenty of people who are not marriage material (the leftovers you talk of), who have major flaes, have issues, etc etc. the challenge is finding the first thing and not the last thing. they are harder to find, but do exist. after 30, there are many more women/men with issues, than without.

 

if you don't find some of these stories the least bit entertaining, i'm sorry. it is what it is. going through a nasty divorce changes a person. it thickens the skin 10 fold. that being said, i think i just went out with my next ex wife last night :lolguy: i did NOT order her a meatball sub at dinner

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Girl last year: beautiful face pictures, some great titties. Figured she was a little heavier but she was super pretty. Said fuck it and met up with her for drinks. She was bigger but still very pretty. Probably the biggest fucking airhead I've ever met IRL. Easy target. Find out she had JUST broken up with her long term BF and moved back into her parents basement. I saw her a couple more times and banged her with her parents upstairs after she cooked me dinner.

 

She was my first (probably last) squirter. I was disgusted after doing a little more research on squirting. Stopped texting her and eventually got a angry text from her couple weeks later. Looked her up on FB a month or two later, she got engaged to her old BF lol.

 

val.jpg

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Lol, you guys. It's great that you're all married with kids, but this is a thread about banging sloots with very little effort. Give us some pre-marriage stories.

 

You always date/long-term bang a super crazy one before you get married to a less crazy one. They're all crazy. True story.

 

The super crazy girl I was dating before my wife would always get blackout drunk and never remember anything we did the night before. Let's just say she had a list of things she would never do and as far as she knows, she's stayed true to that list.

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You always date/long-term bang a super crazy one before you get married to a less crazy one. They're all crazy. True story.

 

The super crazy girl I was dating before my wife would always get blackout drunk and never remember anything we did the night before. Let's just say she had a list of things she would never do and as far as she knows, she's stayed true to that list.

 

 

Yeah the crazy ones, always make for great stories.....

 

 

 

I've been dating someone for two years, but a few behind her, one crazy still sticks out....

 

I ended up going to her house, things started to progress, ended up in her room, scale 10 of crazy girl sex... After sex, she kept asking if I wanted to see something exciting.. Said yes, and she told me to open her closet... It was a bunch of police uniforms... She had a fucking husband and the guy was a cop! I've never Christian Bailed on a situation faster than this, she called me a million times afterwards asking why it was a big deal? :lolguy:

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Yeah, I like the stories. I'm a fucking guy. Duh!

 

I was merely saying:

 

The stories are cool, but I don't think you are the one who "has it made".

 

when life gives you lemons, make lemonade. and if a chick is willing to pour that lemonade over her huge DD fake boobs, and down her front---i'm going to drink it, and celebrate. that being said, at some point my goal is to find someone to spend the rest of my life with, no doubt. but i'm enjoying the present :fuckyeah:

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Stop black boxing the faces. It's like pasties at the titty bar! :)

 

eventually i'm probably going to come across someone's wife, girlfriend, mom, daughter, sister, cousin, co-worker, neighbor, or babysitter. trying to keep it as private as possible.

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eventually i'm probably going to come across someone's wife, girlfriend, mom, daughter, sister, cousin, co-worker, neighbor, or babysitter. trying to keep it as private as possible.

 

You need to black out more then bud. I say go crazy, post them unedited.... It's more fun for us readers that way.

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You need to black out more then bud. I say go crazy, post them unedited.... It's more fun for us readers that way.

 

here's the plan for a new thread if i get back into tinder/bumble/etc.... Post every "match", every conversation, and every story. nothing will be edited. i figure if i run into someone that another member knows, i'll find out way before i bang them and make the decision to bang at that point.

 

leaving the country here in a few months so it'll be a perfect time to go a little crazy.

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here's the plan for a new thread if i get back into tinder/bumble/etc.... Post every "match", every conversation, and every story. nothing will be edited. i figure if i run into someone that another member knows, i'll find out way before i bang them and make the decision to bang at that point.

 

leaving the country here in a few months so it'll be a perfect time to go a little crazy.

 

I approve of this idea. Living vicariously though your..... uh .... "choices"

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here's the plan for a new thread if i get back into tinder/bumble/etc.... Post every "match", every conversation, and every story. nothing will be edited. i figure if i run into someone that another member knows, i'll find out way before i bang them and make the decision to bang at that point.

 

leaving the country here in a few months so it'll be a perfect time to go a little crazy.

 

I like this guy

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here's the plan for a new thread if i get back into tinder/bumble/etc.... Post every "match", every conversation, and every story. nothing will be edited. i figure if i run into someone that another member knows, i'll find out way before i bang them and make the decision to bang at that point.

 

leaving the country here in a few months so it'll be a perfect time to go a little crazy.

 

giphy.gif

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when life gives you lemons, make lemonade. and if a chick is willing to pour that lemonade over her huge DD fake boobs, and down her front---i'm going to drink it, and celebrate. that being said, at some point my goal is to find someone to spend the rest of my life with, no doubt. but i'm enjoying the present :fuckyeah:

 

No pics of DDs? h8r :cool:

-Marc

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