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Need help finding parents.


Mr Anderson

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:plus1:

As to art's comments, i wear size 12...hope you got a big mouth.

Good luck. :)

What do you mean? re-read my post, I'm defending him, not putting him down. I hate bullies and people that make fun of anyone for something beyond their control. I always have and always will stand up for people that may not be able to do so themselves.

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What do you mean? re-read my post, I'm defending him, not putting him down. I hate bullies and people that make fun of anyone for something beyond their control. I always have and always will stand up for people that may not be able to do so themselves.

No. You took what i said wrong. I'm with you man. 110%.

I know your not. I got you. :cheers:

I mean that for other people, as to who wants to knock him.

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Having a sense of belonging is one of those big pieces of the puzzle that is life. Travel to central america is relatively inexpensive, and no matter what you decide you should take some time and see where you came from. I am 100% positive that after you see where you came from you will be grateful for where you are. Most people don't get joy from giving kids up, the decision is almost always made out of love.

I am not very well connected at OSU but I can help you make some phone calls. You may have the best luck talking to people from the Medical Center as many nurses and doctors volunteer their time working in less developed countries.

If you don't have a passport get one that way when you do decide you are ready to go. When I went to costa rica last month the plane ticket was just under $400. Look to stay in a Hostel as there will be many college age travelers and alot of them speak spanish.

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The people that adopted you may not be blood, but they chose to take you in and love you. Who knows what happened to your birth parents. Your adoptive parents have watched over you almost all of your life. I do understand the need to find out the truth but it could also end in heartache. I'm sure they love you very much. Just because you have different DNA does that make them any less your parents? NO! You received a second chance in life, be happy for that. Keep this in mind too. If you do find your birth parents, they could try to fight to get you back. And PLEASE don't take this the wrong way, but what if they are horrible people? Now you risk going back to another country where you could be a lot worse off.

im in this school of thought on the subject i guess. i mean its such a personal thing though. if you have a real deep need to find your biological parents, then by all means, follow your heart.

but at the same time, IMO family is more about who is there for you when it counts than it is about blood. my best friend that i grew up with is as much a son to my parents as i am. i have two sisters who i rarely speak to. nothing personal against them, they just were not around when i was growing up, and they arent around now either lol. i did see them last year though... my point being that there are people totally unrelated to me by blood that i would consider more "family" than my actual sisters.

i wouldnt think its fair for anyone to say you dont have parents. you do. they may not be blood, but they have and will be there for you when you need it the most.

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I know the feeling of fending for yourself after losing my parents as a kid. It's intimidating at times, and it made me realize not to take anybody for granted. Those that love you, they are precious- remember that. Go out of your way to relay that, and build what you can. Don't look back and lament what you can't change- but embrace those that have stuck with you. That is your family.

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Thanks everyone for the advice. I still I am trying to think about going back to where I was born. Finding any blood family members. I would like to think that they have missed me for 21 years and if there still alive hoping to see me. The passport is my first step and my goal to getting to EL Salvador. I have also provided a link http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Salvadoran_Civil_War of the events that changed thousands if not millions of lives. I was born in 1988, month and day are unknown. I know Im better off here in the USA. I hope everyone realizes how much better off United States is to EL Salvador. I thank my parents for giving me a new life and every parent that adopts a child, I thank you. If I do go I don't think it will be til next year. I know I have been thinking about this for more then 10 years.

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Playing devil's advocate - will going back truly give you closure? Even (or especially) if you don't find anyone?

If you were truly found in the streets during a war, I don't know that there'd be any record of your parents there. :-\

Did you have a name or anything "pinned to the blankets," so to speak? Any clue as to who you were? I don't see DNA records being helpful in the late eighties... I'm also not sure how El Salvador handles birth certificates. What sort of documentation, if any, were you found with?

I'm truly not trying to discourage you, and I wouldn't be able to say how strongly I'd want to find my birth family in your situation. What I am saying is that I hope you're going into this search cognizant of the fact that it may not bring closure to you to search; as you said yourself, you have a better life here, one that was granted you by circumstance or by the grace of God.

I think going back to your birth country is a good idea, to learn about your heritage and where you started. But I think going back on some sort of familial discovery quest might be a bit of tilting at windmills.

If you want anything translated into Spanish for requests for information, you can send it to me and I'll take a whack at it, though. I would start off with distant contacts before taking a trip down. Emails, faxes, and phone calls like your life depended on it.

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Mr. A...

my new BIL was adopted, too.

my .02 after talking with him about it is as simple as this....

Chromosomes do NOT make a family. Your family is the people who loved you and raised you. whether you share their DNA is irrelevent. My advice would be just to embrace the family you have, and forget about where your dna came from.

Take it or leave it, that's my advice. You seem like a pretty decent guy, best of luck in whatever you choose to do.

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Mr. A...

my new BIL was adopted, too.

my .02 after talking with him about it is as simple as this....

Chromosomes do NOT make a family. Your family is the people who loved you and raised you. whether you share their DNA is irrelevent. My advice would be just to embrace the family you have, and forget about where your dna came from.

Take it or leave it, that's my advice. You seem like a pretty decent guy, best of luck in whatever you choose to do.

What will happen is he will track them down and meet them and then realize that his adopted parents are his true parents and the bond between them will get closer.

I think the whole, you have to know where you came from to realize how far you have come applies here.

as a wise man once said " And at that moment I thought I might just lie there and never get up. I would just sit there and rot there, but then I looked up and saw the moon and got this weird feeling that Brandi was looking up at that same moon. Then I realized I had a home all along, in Silvertown. "

He also said "People like that security guard. They don't really mean what they say. They just got their own issues and what not. Alls I got to do is keep bein' a good person. No matter what, good things'll come my way. Everything's gonna happen for me, just so long as I never have no in my heart."

Edited by shittygsxr
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What will happen is he will track them down and meet them and then realize that his adopted parents are his true parents and the bond between them will get closer.

I think the whole, you have to know where you came from to realize how far you have come applies here.

agree...

but I'd rather just skip to the end of the story.

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What will happen is he will track them down and meet them and then realize that his adopted parents are his true parents and the bond between them will get closer.

I think the whole, you have to know where you came from to realize how far you have come applies here.

as a wise man once said " And at that moment I thought I might just lie there and never get up. I would just sit there and rot there, but then I looked up and saw the moon and got this weird feeling that Brandi was looking up at that same moon. Then I realized I had a home all along, in Silvertown. "

He also said "People like that security guard. They don't really mean what they say. They just got their own issues and what not. Alls I got to do is keep bein' a good person. No matter what, good things'll come my way. Everything's gonna happen for me, just so long as I never have no in my heart."

My adoptive parents are a different skin color and Im hispanic. I was adopted because my two (not bio)older sisters were killed after birth. 2 lives for the price of saving one life. I live life to the best and treat everyone with great respect. If I get knocked down I stand up for who I am and the reason I exist is to care for others. Maybe it was meant to be that my mom had the suffer the loss of her two babies. She wanted another child and decided to not adopt in the USA and risk her life going to get me in waring country. I sometimes feel hate towards myself for being alive and that I was saved because 2 innocent baby girls had to die. It just makes my life so hard to live through. I will live for them and I will always love my mom. She is a great person and quite frankly its hard to find people like her. Im still thinking about it but thanks for the advice.

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My adoptive parents are a different skin color and Im hispanic. I was adopted because my two (not bio)older sisters were killed after birth. 2 lives for the price of saving one life. I live life to the best and treat everyone with great respect. If I get knocked down I stand up for who I am and the reason I exist is to care for others. Maybe it was meant to be that my mom had the suffer the loss of her two babies. She wanted another child and decided to not adopt in the USA and risk her life going to get me in waring country. I sometimes feel hate towards myself for being alive and that I was saved because 2 innocent baby girls had to die. It just makes my life so hard to live through. I will live for them and I will always love my mom. She is a great person and quite frankly its hard to find people like her. Im still thinking about it but thanks for the advice.

There is a greater design than you or I. Why feel hate? You gave your adoptive mother great joy she may have never had without you. You should be greatful for that.

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I only feel hate towards myself.

OK dude...... I told myself this morning I was gonna stay outta this one, but I just can't ignore the above statement :nono:

You really need to get some therapy for these issues & feelings you have. What you just said almost sounds suicidal to me...... Especially considering your forlornness regarding your love life

There's no reason to hate yourself over something you had no control over

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I am everyday and I love her. I only feel hate towards myself.

Believe it or not, I can connect with you in so many ways on this..

First joining the military, I felt like I broke myself off with the life my family worked so hard for me to have. And if I had to say there was a regret, that would be it. Feeling like I left behind what someone else worked so hard for just me..

I'm not going to say yes or no you should or shouldn't go through with it. But like many people have already stated, make sure you are ready to know what is down the road. It could be anything but comforting.. I'm still on this road I've started, and truthfully. I just wish I was back were everything was comfortable, and all I needed to know was all around me. Instead of being stuck here, wondering what else could possibly happen. I wish you luck, and I am here for you!

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My adoptive parents are a different skin color and Im hispanic. I was adopted because my two (not bio)older sisters were killed after birth. 2 lives for the price of saving one life. I live life to the best and treat everyone with great respect. If I get knocked down I stand up for who I am and the reason I exist is to care for others. Maybe it was meant to be that my mom had the suffer the loss of her two babies. She wanted another child and decided to not adopt in the USA and risk her life going to get me in waring country. I sometimes feel hate towards myself for being alive and that I was saved because 2 innocent baby girls had to die. It just makes my life so hard to live through. I will live for them and I will always love my mom. She is a great person and quite frankly its hard to find people like her. Im still thinking about it but thanks for the advice.

You cannot bear the guilt of something that you did not cause or do.

Birth circumstances are something that no one has ANY control over.

Being born is like winning the lottery; some people win big, some people just get a free ticket and a chance to try again.

What makes a king or queen? Their birth right. Do they feel guilty about it? No. I feel got lucky in the genetic lottery, I'm not going to feel guilty because I happened to be born with attributes some others may not have.

You won a prize in the random draw of life; if anything, take your good fortune and help others that may have not. Be a big brother, help out an orphanage, join the peace corp. Maybe that will help you re-gain some self esteem.

Most of all, seek professional help. I have struggled with depression all of my life, and you are showing serious signs of self damaging thoughts.

Counseling and/or medication may benefit you more than seeking out your history. I'm sure there are support groups for other people in your situation, seek them out and get advice from them as well.

Help yourself first, and then help others. I think that will help you fill the void that you are feeling.

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Mr. A, i hope everything works out for you. my wife had brought adoption to me the other day and we really have thought hard about it. after riding this thread, i really hope i can help a child as much as your adoptive parents have helped you.

anytime you want to get together and ride or just BS, give me a call... life is too short to regret or look back.

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I hope everything works out for you. Everything I was going to say has been said before. I don't think that finding your parents will make you feel better.

Also, I hope to God that you aren't doing this partially because of your skin color opposed to the skin color of your parents?

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