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Duane's excellent adventure/Duane's Bogus Journey


magley64
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This is really a story of 2 trips, the westward journey and subsequent stay was a most excellent adventure...

the trip eastward however, was a BOGUS journey...

Monday: I finished up the luggage rack, Tested it, loaded up all my supplies and stuff for the trip, and got to bed about 11:00

Tuesday: In the morning, I wake up an hour later than I had intended, left the house by 9:00 and followed my plan to the letter.

I stopped for gas every 150 miles, didn't waste much time on food, and just followed the GPS all the way into Saint Louis.

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Got to saint louis about 7pm our time, and rode around randomly for about a half hour, enjoying the lights and sights of a city that makes cleveland look like a bore-fest.

I went up the MLK, seen the riverboat casino, tall buildings with lots of lights, awesome awesome views... the arch thing...

I ride into a neighborhood that looks pretty shady, and since I don't know my way around, I pulled up my local search on my phone to find a hotel that I recognize. Holiday Inn Express! I punch the coordinates into my gps and head out.

I arrived at the hotel at about 8 our time (7 local time). Locked the bike up, grabbed the luggage, and headed up to my room.

First time in a hotel...

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Once I got settled, I said to myself..."Duane, you're in St. Louis Missouri, you had better get out and do something"...

So I whipped out my trusty GPS and searched for the closest night club...

found one .7 miles away, so I thought "I can walk that, don't have to worry about parking, it'll be perfect."

I got dressed, and headed out the front door. As I turned down the first street, I stepped over a bunch of broken glass... Kept walking, looking around there were a lot of broken down old buildings with the windows smashed out. walked a little further and stepped over some used syringes...at this point I think to myself "Duane, you're out of your element, you're in a strange town, have NO idea where you are, and you have no idea what kind of neighborhood you're walking into" so I convinced myself to instead check out the pool at the hotel for the night, and get some rest...

I caught an episode of Californication on HBO to get myself acclimated to what I'll be getting into at the end of my journey.

Wednesday: morning I wake up at 6, enjoy the free breakfast, load up the bike, and take off about 9. I decide that I should get a view of the arch thing during the day, since it is picture worthy.

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Once I was satisfied with my shots, I punched in Elk City oklahoma as my new destination.

Again stopping about every 150 miles to fill up, and taking the bare minimum for food stops. Along my route I hit the Will Rogers turnpike, seen the Will Rogers Museum, Will Rogers Gun shop, Will Rogers Liquor Store...etc etc...Oklahoma LOVES will rogers I guess...

Hit a rain storm with drops so big that they rocked my head back when they hit my helmet.

I pull into Elk City about 6:00 local time, and say to myself "you wasted a LOT of time in saint louis, lets get some road behind us, shall we?"

so I cancelled the gps, and plugged in amarillo texas as my new destination... said I would arrive at 11:00 pm our time.

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I pull into the holiday inn express in amarillo about 11:15 our time, and regrettably, they were all booked up. So i walked across the street to the travelodge.

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Thursday: Morning I wake up at 7, grab a bagel, and punch in Las Vegas Nevada as my destination... GPS said 10:00 pm our time (which was 7:00 their time) so I went online to vegas.com and made a reservation for the stratosphere hotel strip view special. Roll out of Amarillo.

It was a chilly day, so I had all my gear on...Under armor pants, jeans, snow pants, under armor long sleeve shirt, t-shirt, sweat shirt, riding jacket, snowboarding coat, and riding gloves.

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I ride across the new mexico border, and the weather is still pretty chilly. I grabbed fuel every hundred miles or so, and stopped quick for a couple cheeseburgers here and there. I also notice that gas stations are getting more sparse, so I start being more conservative about my fuel stops (the last thing I want to do is start pushing my bike across the desert).

I stopped at a gas station near Albequereque and seen another Ohio plate, It was an old couple in a truck taking a route 66 tour and visiting their family in phoenix arizona. (ohio people are much more friendly when they are not in ohio, lol) I fill up, and pull up to the convenience store. At this point my lips are chapped, so I decide to grab some chap stick. Go back out to the bike, put it on, and all of a sudden one of the guys in front of the store yells "look out!" I turn around to see a wall of sand coming at me. I duck my head and cover my eyes. About 20 seconds later the wind dies down, and I can see. My brand new chap stick is covered in sand. I turn to one of the old guys in front of the store and say "what the hell was that?!?!" he just chuckles and says "you're not from around here, are ya? those happen pretty regularly around here, from here to about mid arizona" I reply with "well, I'm getting the heck outa here"

As I hit the new mexico/arizona border, I see this teepee, and I think "Mom would like that, I'll pull over and get a picture for her"

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I stop off, put my kickstand down, climb off the bike, and snap a nice picture.

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Just then I feel a massive wind gust, and hear a loud crash, and my bike stalls. "noooooooooo!"

I take off my helmet and gloves cause I know you guys would want this documented.

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I took some pictures, and muscled her back onto her wheels.

After a quick inspection to make sure there were no serious damages, I hopped back on, and headed down the road.

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Most of arizona was uneventful, losts of sand and rocks. I started taking pictures without pulling over first. I think the semi behind me thought I was insane...

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Flagstaff smells like dogfood.

I arrived in flagstaff about sunset, and still had a few hours to go before vegas. The roads between flagstaff and vegas were AWESOME. Open freeways, long sweeper after long sweeper through the canyons, and ZERO leo presence, I was cooking 120 130 140 through sections of that freeway, it was AWESOME.

I see a sign that says "hoover dam restricted, no trucks/trailers/campers".

So I continue on the road, and I begin to feel as if I'm riding into an oven.

My gloves feel like they are on fire. I ride a little further, and there is a "checkpoint" which appeared to me to just basically be where the guard would racially profile you, and then wave you by. I got through, and the road for the hoover dam is just as twisty as can be, awesome road to ride. As I approached vegas at night, I was utterly stunned by the beauty of the lights everywhere, it was amazing.

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I got checked onto the stratosphere, and turned on the TV...there I saw a hotel channel dedicated to the "http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QbehfUGx6Rs". Instantly I knew what I had to do...ran to the elevator, went to the ticket booth and purchased tickets for all 3 rides on the tower. I rode the big shot, the insanity, and the X-Scream....SOOOOO MUCH FUN!

I wanted to go to the naked vampire show, but it was thursday.

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I decided to take my camera out on the strip and just walk all of las vegas blvd from stratosphere to luxor. I met about 8 hookers, and helped one of them fix the white balance on her camera.

Look! Motorcycle related!

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Vegas was the only place I've ever seen escalators outside...

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I made it back to my hotel about 4 am, and passed out.

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Friday: I wake up in the hotel, jump in the shower, and bring my luggage out to the bike.

I check out, and head over to mcdonalds to use the internet on my netbook. My friend Sara from Cali told me that "The Standard" was an excellent hotel, so I booked it for 2 nights.

Riding from vegas to LA, I passed 2 vehicles from ohio several times (I pulled over at all rest stops to take pictures) One was a winnebago with 2 cute girls in it who would wave at me every time I passed.

The other was a guy in a Deville who I later met at a gas station in Cali.

I hit a gas station in barstow, and my card was declined. (ssshhhhit)

I paid with cash, and called the fraud prevention company for first merit. They asked me to confirm the charges, and lifted the block on my card.

I got to a wal-mart near LA where I stopped off for some essentials. I felt like a space alien, everybody there could tell I was from out of town, and they were all staring.

I call this picture "death coupon"

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I got to La, and traffic was kinda backed up. So I'm sitting in traffic, and I hear "vroooom", a r6 zips by me between lanes, and looks back at me like I'm crazy..."yes! time for lane splitting!" I took it slow, and cautiously made my way through traffic. I wasn't sure how wide I was with the saddle bags attached, and I didn't want to break off any mirrors.

I made my way to the hotel, and unloaded the luggage.

By 8 pm, there was a line forming around the block for the night club/bar/pool on the roof. I got preferred access for being a guest (SHWEET!).

So I hang out on the roof for a few, and there is a birthday party going on next to me (a bunch of women) They asked me to take some pictures with them.

clearly they had no idea how to use my camera, but whatever, I was drinking and having a good time

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I took the opportunity, and enjoyed myself. I had a jack & coke, and then the girls in the birthday party started buying me drinks..."whooo"

My friend Sara called, and said she was in the lobby. I ran down, grabbed her a wrist band, and we went back on the roof to catch up.

We chilled in a waterbed pod on the roof just talking, drinking, and acting goofy. She kept repeating "I can't believe you're here"

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It started getting below 65, so we decided to retreat back to my room and continue our conversation. She gives me a brief itinerary for saturday.

Saturday: In the morning I get up, enjoy the rooftop pool, and go downstairs to get my bike. I ride out to santa monica and park my bike in a parking garage.

I walked out to the third street promenade, see a farmers market, and head out to the ocean.

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I took off my shoes, socks, and remove my wallet, phone and camera and jump into the ocean in full gear! (water wasn't as salty as I'd have imagined.)

After i was good and cold, I walked over to the santa monica pier, watched some street performers, seen some people fishing, checked out the view, and started walking back towards my bike.

I take my ticket and ride around to the toll booth at the exit of the parking garage. The cashier says to me "you don't pay here", so I said "oh I'm sorry i'm from out of town, where do I pay?" She replies "you don't pay, all the motorcycles that park here just zip around the toll booth, so management decided to just stop charging motorcycles to park here."

I thanked her and ducked under the barrier to head back to the hotel.

As I approach the entrance ramp to the 101, A motorcycle cop on a K1200 pulls up next to me. He notices my plate, and my stereo and asks "did you ride all the way from ohio?" I said "yeah, just wanted to spend a saturday in LA, I'm heading back tomorrow" He replies "that's a hell of a ride, where are you headed right now?" I replied "well, I'm headed downtown to my hotel"

He says "I'm headed that way, too; how long have you been riding?" I said "well, basically since i was 7, but i've had this bike for 2 years and put 22,000 miles on it" He says "okay, you qualify". I reply "qualify for what?"

He says, "just keep on my tail, and keep your eyes peeled, we're gonna have some fun" Light turns green and he takes off down the entrance ramp. We were screaming down the white lines, and I made it back downtown in no time flat.

Got back to my hotel, and sara calls to tell me she'll be picking me up in 1/2 hour, I jump in the shower, grab a drink from the roof, hop in her blazer and off we go. She took me to dinner, to see all the studios, and down to hollywood. (I am da governatah! Get ouwt!)

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I wouldn't suggest you go to hollywood at night, I literally seen 6 different people pissing on the streets, 4 of them were men. Nothing but hookah bars, tatoo parlors, and a few theatres.

We went to the Tiki Ti which is a local bar on hollywod blvd that has been family owned since the 60's. It was a cool little place, and Sara ordered me a "rays mistake". I'm not sure what was in it, but it was pretty tasty.

After the Tiki, we went back to the hotel and hung out again. At some point in the hotel, the GPS went nuts and started accelerating, now I wasn't paying attention to my speed, but i guess the blackbird is good to about mach 3...?

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Sunday: In the morning I raided the mini bar for gifts, checked out at 11:00 local time, and started the long journey home. Once I got out of California, I remembered how much I hated riding between Flagstaff Arizona and Effingham Illinois...so I tried to do it in one single run...

Little did I know that random livestock roams around the gas stations at night.

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I felt pretty good until 4 am, I hit some SERIOUS fog in new mexico and it got really cold (low 40s) at one of the 24 hour gas stations I asked the guy behind the counter "this is new mexico right? isn't it supposed to be warm?" He laughed and told me I should have been there the night before, it was even colder. Several of the gas stations had no attendants, just 24 hour pay at pump. At one of these gas stations I was brutally attacked by a resident goat. He rammed me in the leg 3 times before he bit me in the leg... I finished pumping gas and got the heck out of there. I was chased by a dog at a later gas station, and narrowly avoided some elk on the freeway. I was pretty drowsy until the sun came up, then I was good for a while. about hour 20, I started downing red bulls at every fuel stop. Every 100 to 150 miles I'd suck down another red bull. At hour 25 I was vaguely aware of a humming red thing between my knees, and at hour 29, I sucked down 2 red bulls, and was still dosing off, so I stopped in Vinita Oklahoma's holiday inn express. Jumped in the hot tub, relaxed for an hour, then watched house as I dosed off.

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Tuesday: woke up in the morning, and headed out the door, it was raining alot, so I got wet. It was pretty cold, and I cruised across oklahoma.

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Into missouri, While riding in missouri through some pretty heavy rain, I seen where a pickup truck had brocken loose, gotten sideways into the median rolled into oncoming traffic and was struck by a semi headed in the opposite direction. I believe the driver of the pickup was killed. There were truck parts everywhere, and the freeway was closed in that direction. (mile marker 67 on the freeway) At mile marker 97 there was a SUV rolled over on the exit side of the freeway. Shortly thereafter, I was climbing a hill, and hit a tar snake/fresh hot patch on the freeway which broke my back tire loose to my right...

Instinctively I chopped throttle which seemed to put me into a tank slapper. I droped my feet, muscled the bars straight, and gave her a little throttle. Luckily she straightened out, and I hit the next exit for fuel and to let my heart calm down. After filling my tank, I was still feeling a bit jumpy, so I pulled up to the largest gift shop to cool down.

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As I was walking around, an older lady came up to me and said "are you the guy on that motorcycle out there?" with an angry look on her face. Almost immediately I said "no...I'm santa claus, you want to talk to that guy in the red suit" pointing to a rt 66 santa figurine. She hits me in the chest and yells "YOU SCARED THE SHIT OUT OF ME BACK THERE! I was in the red car behind you when you started flip flopping with your feet down" so I said "scared the shit out of you? I scared the shit out of me! you weren't on the bike lady!" She then explained that she had a freind die in a motorcycle accident on this particular freeway. I promised to be more careful, and I continued on my journey. I stopped off in effingham Illinois for fuel, called my parents, and told them I was planning on heading straight home. They were worried that I hadn't goten enough sleep, but were glad that I'd be home soon. I rode all the way to dayton, and stopped of again. Now I'm FREEZING. I called my cousin, hoping that he was still in dayton so I could just crash there for the night, but he was in cuyahoga falls. I decided to head there instead of going all the way home.

I pulled into columbus at the gas station on beulah rd. and hudson street at 2:30 AM for gas. I seen another sport bike, and a guy in an SUV was telling me how badly he wanted a motorcycle.

At 3:30 I pulled into a walmart near mansfield, all the cars in the parking lot had frost on them, and I was shivering badly. I ran in and bought another pair of gloves. I arrived at my cousin's about 4:45 in cuyahoga falls, and passed out. I woke up around noon, hung out with my cousin for a couple hours and got back home around 5pm.

The trip was QUITE amazing, and I'd give it a 9.995 on the adventure scale

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Just cranked up the Left Balance - no issue.

IIRC I think the left broke last year ;)

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NOOOOO!! :eek: Not the good one! Looks like those speaker framesliders did their job :p

So you seriously rode all the way out there just to spend the day?!? :wtf:

If the rep wasn't permanently temporarily disabled Duane..... I'd be hittin' you up with $hitloads of it dude, 'cause you DEFINITELY deserve/earned it!!

Course then I'd take it right back & neg the $hit outta your a$$ for not postin' pix of this Sara chicky! :p

And hooray for the birthday party girlys! :D

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WOW!! What a LONG trip! Can you post up a ROUTE map on google maps of what you took? I'd like to see. Also what kind of mileage did you rack up?

Awesome pictures and great story telling.

I'd like to know what exactly you and the CHP did too.

route

http://maps.google.com/maps/ms?ie=UTF&msa=0&msid=109740599527864625490.00047641ba815691ad9cd

Miles

total was 4931.6 miles

CHP and myself, serious lane splitting, that's about it...

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