Uncle died, but that is not what is bothering me

[Beegreenstrings]

My uncle died yesterday morning/afternoon. I knew about yesterday but had issues dealing with it.

It's harder for me to know that this is the third brother my dad has lost in a year. That is what is bothering me so much.

His oldest brother burt, died of natural cuases. Same as his second oldest brother Jake. This brother Robert, was for the most part always in good shape. Work-out and took care of himself. But they discovered cancer and he went down hill from there.

I guess I look at this as it is nothing more than the cycle of life, but I dont want it to reach my dad. He is a tough man and always has been. He was in Vietnam. He left the army as a mst sgt. left the rangers to train the calvary. He is mostly queit, and things like this never seem to effect him. But, between this brother and another he has, they were always around each other.

I hoped and prayed last night that this would not change my father. I live a ways away from them roughly a hour and a half. I did not make it up last night but called and talked to my mom (dad just does not talk on the phone).

Just needed to talk about it... Just one of those things that effects someone in adverse ways. I believe more of the idea that after three brothers, I know that this could be my dad one of these days. You say that this could never happen to my dad, but, the cold fact is it happens to everyone.

Edited November 23, 2010 by Beegreenstrings

[NinjaNick]

It sucks for sure man. Enjoy everyday that you can and always keep your head up.

[redkow97]

I think it's fortuitous that you've got a long weekend to (hopefully) hang out with your dad.

Your concerns seem legitimate, but it's going to be a tough subject to bring up. Hopefully your dad is already making the same conclusions you are, and will get serious about regular check-ups to keep him out of harm's way.

Value the time you've got. for my dad's birthday last month, my brothers and I bought him "Field of Dreams" and signed a baseball instead of a card. We wrote, "let's have a catch some time."

the ball and movie were nice, but BSing while tossing a baseball definitely means more to him. I don't knwo what you're dad's into, but I hate golf; and yet I have pretty damn nice clubs, because my dad's into it, and likes to help me pick them out, learn to swing them, etc.

you already know what you want to do - just start doing it.

[fusion]

All you can do in life is try to enjoy every moment you have with those you care about.

[kawi kid]

Sorry to hear man.

[Beegreenstrings]

Thanks guys! I think I needed to just get it off of my shoulders! This weekend is going to be rough on the ole man and I want to be there for him. But, at the sametime will be rough on me thinking of this. It's definately not something I am ready for! My dad never seemed/seems his age, about like me. So, I guess I never thought of it... Just never came up or was ever thought about.

He can't leave me yet... That is for sure. He and I still need to finish that Shelby sitting in his garage and I can't do it by myself... He has not taught me everything I need to know that is for sure!

Again all input has been appreciated!

[Casper]

Sorry to hear bud.

[jbot]

i hope the best for your family after all that bad news. spend as much time as you can with them especially your dad... i always think about how much i take mine for granted and every once in a while, have a terrible feeling that i'll be wracked with guilt for not spending more time with him and my mom. more and more as my parents get older, actually.

lots of thanks to give, even after so much loss.

my condolences to you and yours.

[jporter12]

Yeah, my situation's kinda similar, my dad's the only one of 3 brothers left. He's not in exactly good health, either and it's tough to get him to eat right and take medications for blood pressure, etc... The really tought thing is that he gets really annoying at times when around him too much, and I'll get to the point where we have to leave.

Parents... What do we do with them?

[redkow97]

hopefully something this awesome (sorry in advance for thread-jacking, but I hope I can be this good of a son, and raise my kids to be half as thoughtful):

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=82iVMONcwss

[imprez55]

Out of 4 brothers, your dad is the one living at the end of the year. I think that is a testament to his strength alone. He does not seem like the kind of man that would want to talk about this, and neither would I. Instead the best thing would be to just hang around him and know you appreciate him during this extended, family oriented weekend. A side note, make sure no one acts like he is unable to do normal things. Like if he normally washes dishes, or whatever, during the holidays then don't think that he needs someone to help now. A routine helps, even if it reminds him and hurts initially. Humans are creatures of habit and its a calming thing.

Stay strong man, for your father's sake.