At work one of the guys in shipping isn't the sharpest tool in the shed, though he is a tool. I think he may have ended at 3rd grade. Anyway, we have him quite convinced that whenever our network is slow, he can call up here and request "more throttle" or tells us to "up the gigahertz." We respond with, "I can take some throttle away from so-and-so, but it can only be for a few minutes..." We hang up and wait about 10 seconds and then call him back and say "Alright, we gave you X GHz. Is it faster?" and by no surprise he says that it's running a ton faster.
After a while he sort of got the idea that we were toying with him, but he's still convinced we have control over his "throttle" and "upping the GHz in the T1 line" (even though technically we can throttle bandwidth, but don't). After our network admin left last week, I now do the network and ColdFusion/Java stuff so I decided to write this guy a little app so he doesn't have to call me all the time.
http://www.plastikhosting.net/uploads/tristanlee85/UpTheGHZ.jar (requires JRE 1.4+)
I have it threaded to remove 3% every 20 seconds as well as randomly chooses a number to set the progress value to which is within a range of how much throttle he actually gives himself. This way it looks like it's active and it decreases over time because I told him I can't give him 100% all the time because it wouldn't be fair to other employees.