The Dr's at the James, while extremely busy, are awesome. Sort of a late response, but before you meet/talk with them write down all of your concerns/questions. In my case they answered ALL of them without the slightest bit of hesitation. Again TAKE THROUGH NOTES: you're going to get a fuck-ton of information thrown at you, so much so that you undoubtably wont be able to process/remember it all. Through notes were the only way I was able to accurately communicate my Fathers condition/outcome to the rest of the family.
Cancer is a bastard, as I said before Doctors will often assume the worst. Again, I can't tell you how many times my Dad's condition potentially "made a turn for the worse", but after some follow up tests (months down the road) turned out to be nothing. As you said, very scary. You have to remain positive through it all, moreover you have to motivate your entire family to remain strong and positive. Everyone has to be on board for the fight, including your Wife. Be with her at every meeting, be with her for all the chemo, constantly assure her that you're going to fight "the bastard" off at all costs. Being strong for her is about as important as chemo/radiation, I kid you not.