WELL I WAS THINKIN IT HAD SOMETHING TO DO WITH THE NEUTRAL SAFETY SWITCH. caps my program at work only works with caps on.
because of it disengaging during gear select.
the problem:
a short in the remote start unit. even with the power disconnected but the unit still connected to the car, when the accessory wire became hot it was still running power into the unit, the short completed the circuit back to the start wire, engaging the starter. shift it into gear and the neutral safety is open disconnecting the circuit.
fix:
take the shit out
thanks guys