Question for da boyz on the practices of dating!

[NinjaNick]

Get out of here! Nuh uh. I went to that post and it says "Sara".

[NinjaNick]

My gosh Nick....where has all this enlightenment come from. I'm really impressed. Do you really feel this way about your wife??

Yes, I love my wife deeply. I'm not perfect as we all know nobody is, but I do know what is right and what things "should" be like.

[2insanezx10r]

I would say more YES than NO, but sometimes the guy that is texting you is too ignorant to know how to communicate to the opposite sex. Also, maybe some that do that are just........dumb. Some guys will NEVER learn how to talk around a woman, to a woman or how to treat a woman. I don't know why, but I think some guys are too stupid to be blessed with the love of a woman. A womans love and presence in a mans life is a true gift that shouldn't be taken advantage of. Those that do take advantage of it end up dying alone and leaving a wonderful woman heartbroken.

Damn Nick your way to young to have this knowlege. Good thing your married she must be a very nice woman. Hope to get to meet her sometime.. (for tacos lol..)

[fusion]

You're reading to much into the texting vs. calling. Sometimes a simple text is enough.

[NinjaNick]

As soon as I got home Sunday I finished up those taco's we had for dinner. I had soft taco, hard taco and a taco bowl.

OK, enough about taco's I'm getting hungry. Sorry Pratt.

[PrincessPratt]

You're reading to much into the texting vs. calling. Sometimes a simple text is enough.

But me and many many other young professional women I know feel that it's not enough. So what are we to do? If it was just me that was feeling this way the thread never would have gotten started. It's other women that feel this way. Yes I have certain expectations but if you don't then you get any ole thing.

My next quesion....Is this something we are just going to have to tolerate b/c it has become culturally appropriate to communicate in this manner.

[NinjaNick]

Maybe. Adaptation could be a must probably.

[e-flores]

alright im back got hungry and forgot i hadnt eaten yet.... so i made dinner.

and i am impressed with the words of wisdom from nick.

but i dont plan on being in a relationship because of the "sexcapades" but it may help to pick up a girl here or there..... secondly yes a woman is a gift from God and we all should be thankfull for the one we marry, but for now i can be ungratefull for the ones i did have. but it happens....

[PrincessPratt]

As soon as I got home Sunday I finished up those taco's we had for dinner. I had soft taco, hard taco and a taco bowl.

OK, enough about taco's I'm getting hungry. Sorry Pratt.

Dude I was just thinking about Taco's myself like 5 minutes ago. Stop already! I'm getting hungry.

[e-flores]

i dont know maybe it has become a culture thing and i am just lagging behind, but i still think you should be brave enough to talk to a woman and get to know her and make her feel important before you become serious with that person, then simple text messages would be alright. but until then man up and get to talkin.

[PrincessPratt]

So my benadryl has just kicked in thus I'm hittin the hay. I swore to myself I would get to sleep b/f 1am tonight so I could be awake for my patients tomorrow. Type away though guys. I get back on 2morrow.

Hugs....

[fusion]

But me and many many other young professional women I know feel that it's not enough. So what are we to do? If it was just me that was feeling this way the thread never would have gotten started. It's other women that feel this way. Yes I have certain expectations but if you don't then you get any ole thing.

My next quesion....Is this something we are just going to have to tolerate b/c it has become culturally appropriate to communicate in this manner.

I'm not saying all communication is ok through texting. It's just another way to communicate. How many people hand write letters anymore? More and more people are merely trading love emails instead of love letters.

It's not the words that mean the most, it's the actions. Some talk the talk and some walk the walk. I'm not saying communication as a whole isn't important, but if your biggest stress is over him texting you to go grab dinner or have a drink then I think you've got it pretty good.

[2insanezx10r]

I'm not saying all communication is ok through texting. It's just another way to communicate. How many people hand write letters anymore? More and more people are merely trading love emails instead of love letters.

It's not the words that mean the most, it's the actions. Some talk the talk and some walk the walk. I'm not saying communication as a whole isn't important, but if your biggest stress is over him texting you to go grab dinner or have a drink then I think you've got it pretty good.

+100 hell of a good point jeremy.

[Disclaimer]

Just wait until you get dumped through MySpace or Facebook... that's where the real burn is. One of my g/fs friends didn't realize she was broken up with her 27 yr old boyfriend until she got on and checked his Facebook profile.

That screams class and maturity right therrrre.

[fusion]

Just wait until you get dumped through MySpace or Facebook... that's where the real burn is. One of my g/fs friends didn't realize she was broken up with her 27 yr old boyfriend until get checked his Facebook profile.

That screams class and maturity right therrrre.

oh ouch. yeah that's definitely inappropriate.

[max power]

Texting is a way to avoid having to talk in my opinion. To keep it short and to the point. If I want to chill on the phone for a bit then I will call. I'm married though and I hold doors for my wife and not all the time, but sometimes open the car door for her. I don't suggest doing that to a girl you're trying to get with though if you're single and aren't dating because if you're too nice to a female you end up in the friend zone and no man wants to be there when they're single and looking for a girl.

Also, YES a 2am text/call IS always for pleasure.

+1

Ya hit the nail on the head, Nick.

[OsuMj]

Ok, texting isn't THAT bad. I think the initial inquiry can be a text, because there is a reason why you gave your number to them in the first place, and they are probably just checking to make sure that you weren't thinking "huge mistake here". This might be because I am constantly around a bunch of engineers (engineers=low self esteem (usually) + interesting qualities(sometimes good sometimes not so good)).

I don't think that texting should carry you through the beginning of a relationship. They have those AIMbots that will automatically send you a message if you're that desperate for a typing companion.

On the guys being put into the friend zone topic, I'm going to have to agree and disagree on this one. I think a lot of men that are constantly overwhelmingly nice come off as needy. I think when I have someone that is like that to me, I start to ask myself why they are like that, and when it is going to change... because a lot of men start off REALLY nice, then end up a lot less nice without even noticing the change. On the same note though, I think that the girls that go after the men that treat them like shit often have some self-confidence issues.

???

[DangBruhY]

He sends txt msgs so his wife wont hear him talking to another girl.

[zerocrash]

I love to text and do so quite often, especially to the girl I've just recently started dating. It does not however, take the place of actual conversation. Like fusion stated earlier, it is another form of communication. Her and I already have the ability to communicate through single words or symbols and I love it! She cannot be on her phone during the day at work so many times a day she will just send me a and I completely melt, simply because it shows she was thinking of me! I try to return the favor as much as possible as well.

I did not set up our first date via text, and love nothing more than to actually communicate one on one, but sometimes that's not always possible.

As far as chivalry being dead? I'd like to think it's not in my case. I open doors, give her my coat if she's cold, let her order first when out, carry anything I can for her, and am just in general concerned for her feelings, thoughts, and emotions.

I'm not playing games and I hope it doesn't come back to bite me. If it does, then so be it because I don't know how to be any other way.

So Sara, not all guys are like what you described. Apparently you just haven't found the right one yet. Don't give up, he's out there!

[Hcstreetriding]

This is a great thread, I dont even know where to begin...... probably with im in college so this is all from the point of view of a 18-24 year old

From my experience, the nice guy does not alway finish last, but he does 9 out of 10 times. My friend is always the overly nice guy, and with every girl he is attracted to he ends up in that friend zone and cant figure out why.

texting is something that should only be used in between conversations(in person or on the tele) after you get to know the person. Asking a girl on the first date through a text is like telling them that your insecure and hoping the the rejection will be easier read than heard. But then again i do know a lot of people that only talk through messaging and they hook up with girls all the time .. so what do i know.

+1 to ninjanick, 2am anything is a booty call, specially if its to/from an Exgirlfriend, im 100% guilty of that one sadly

[12oclocker]

I don't have text messaging. I don't like it. If I need to talk to someone, I just talk on the phone. I have not been in the dating scene in a long time, but I do remember dating sucks, then again, married is not much better, probably single is the way to go, lol.

[Fonzie]

OK.....Getting in on this one LATE....but..."FriendZone" SUX!! Used to end up there all the time in jr. high & HS. Got some life changing advice from some of my roomates girlfriends' one night. They all agreed on this & told me......"You're TOO nice. Girls don't like nice guys....They LIKE nice dicks!" Not the genitalia, but the attitude. Once they clued me into that "secret"......It was GAME ON!!! Major manwhoring ensued!! And yeah....In case you're wondering....That's exactly how I got my wife

After a couple weeks of cat & mouse and one of my friends hangin' with her & her friends quite a bit thinkin' maybe he was gettin' somewhere, she asked me 2 nights in a row if I usually go out on those nights (Wed & Thurs).......I looked her dead in the eye & said.....Are you ready for this one ....make sure you got room for your jaw to drop......"You know....I can't figure you out!"....."Why's that??"....."Well....I can't tell if you're really as nice as you seem.....or if you're just a bitch hiding behind a friendly facade"......And then I got up from our table & walked back to my dept., leaving her sitting there by herself That is....Until she came over to my dept. on her next rotation, answered my questions, and walked off herself. leaving me standing there this time.

Few hours later we were on our first date. Now fast forward 16 years & 4 kids!!

And to answer your question about the texting phenomenon.......I have 2 early teens & a tween. The oldest WILL NOT use a landline to call his friends, or go knock on the door to see if they wanna do something/hang out like we used to when we were kids. In fact...He won't call at all. Strictly texting or IM'ing. He was even trying to win a girl over by "chatting" her all the time

[PrincessPratt]

I love to text and do so quite often, especially to the girl I've just recently started dating. It does not however, take the place of actual conversation. Like fusion stated earlier, it is another form of communication. Her and I already have the ability to communicate through single words or symbols and I love it! She cannot be on her phone during the day at work so many times a day she will just send me a and I completely melt, simply because it shows she was thinking of me! I try to return the favor as much as possible as well.

I did not set up our first date via text, and love nothing more than to actually communicate one on one, but sometimes that's not always possible.

As far as chivalry being dead? I'd like to think it's not in my case. I open doors, give her my coat if she's cold, let her order first when out, carry anything I can for her, and am just in general concerned for her feelings, thoughts, and emotions.

I'm not playing games and I hope it doesn't come back to bite me. If it does, then so be it because I don't know how to be any other way.

So Sara, not all guys are like what you described. Apparently you just haven't found the right one yet. Don't give up, he's out there!

first of all, OMG on the facebook/myspace breakup crap. I can't believe people actually do that. Secondly, I have met some really nice guys lately. This whole thread is about a common phenonema that a few gals and I were thinking about....well guys too. I knew everyone would have an opinion on this matter. Obviously from the 5 pages in 12 hours later they do. lol.

Thanks everyone for the input thus far!

[John]

First of all I wonder if chivalry has gone right out the darn window?

chivalry is dead.

and women killed it.

[schmuckingham]

Chivalry isnt dead but its on its way out the door.

Women like dbags and assholes, and until 90% of women stop fishing for men in bars and through friends yet bypassing that nice guy they have known to be a friend chivalry will continue to decline. Guys have now diverted tot exting instead of calling because there are a less likely chance that they have to put up with what ever querk or quality about you we dont like, thus why they cut out the possiblility of you going on and on about your feelings. That type of guy doesnt care how you feel unless they are balls deep, and even then they care more about dropping a load on your chin and not much else.

I am fortuntate enough to have a very level headed mature girlfriend, however some times i may not be the best boyfriend to her i realize what she has put up with from me and what i have done to make things better. The thing is we met at her work and i was a very shy customer and worked up to asking her out ( also reconed through her friends).Now i am not saying meeting guys or girls in a bar isnt a good idea but most of time its not a very good place to start, a few people married and have kids from the "one night stand" and they are happily married.

Then again, there is nothing wrong with a beat skeet and boogey.