Twistedrx7 Posted May 24, 2008 Report Share Posted May 24, 2008 Well, my best friend is getting married on May 31st! It is supposed to be the happiest day of their lives. I am the best man in the wedding. They got everything booked and all the deposits put down on everyone they wanted. The reception, the caterior, florist, etc... Well, just the other day they find out the wedding dress has not yet been paid for and the wedding is only 10 days away. That is probably the least of their worries. It appears, that her mother didnt pay for everything in full only the deposit. So here they are thinking in 10 days they are going to have a great wedding and be happy. So one by one they have to call each person and cancel everything. His side of the family was able to pull enough money together to have the ceremony. The wedding is only about 7 days away, and i feel like there is something i should do. If i had the money they needed to book everything i would do it but i dont. He said they need about 20,000 to get all the vendors paid in full. Im stuck as to what to do or who i could even turn to, to help them out. I have left a lot of stuff out of this just because i dont want to publicize everything for everyone. If you have any ideas let me know. As of right now the rehearsal dinner is just down to a few select people and moved to after the ceremony because the reception had to be cancelled. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
evan9381 Posted May 24, 2008 Report Share Posted May 24, 2008 tell them to wait until they can do it the way they want it done. if they half-ass it now, theyre gonna remember "the happiest day of their lives" as a shitty ceremony because they couldnt afford it Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Twistedrx7 Posted May 24, 2008 Author Report Share Posted May 24, 2008 Well seeing as we have already paid for our tuxedos awhile ago and the dress is paid for, along with the honeymoon. And all the guests have already RSVPed to the wedding, and taken the days off of work. That makes it a little tricky. If your Fiance and you picked out the day and year that you wanted to be wed for a certain reason. This is something that has been in the making for 2 years. Finding the perfect reception hall, photographer, caterior, centerpieces, and more. There is so much prep work for a wedding it is rediculious. Only to find out a week before that no one has recieved their final payment for the wedding. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TheHaze Posted May 24, 2008 Report Share Posted May 24, 2008 Well seeing as we have already paid for our tuxedos awhile ago and the dress is paid for, along with the honeymoon. And all the guests have already RSVPed to the wedding, and taken the days off of work. That makes it a little tricky. If your Fiance and you picked out the day and year that you wanted to be wed for a certain reason. The whole reason people are going is it celebrate for the newlyweds. They'll understand if it can't happen that day. If they don't, than don't invite them the next time around. pwnt. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mrs.cos Posted May 24, 2008 Report Share Posted May 24, 2008 I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but if they took TWO YEARS to plan the wedding, they would have known FAR in advance that stuff was not paid for. I know because you cant get your wedding dress till its paid for, you cant get it fitted. I have planned 4 weddings in the past 10 years. These are things that are NOT easily looked over. Sounds like some people don't have all their ducks in a row and this was a reality that maybe they should hold off on the nuptials till its all figured out. I know when i planned my wedding, even though others were helping to pay for it, i had to know if and when things were paid for, reciepts, so forth and so on. I am BY FAR not an anal retentive person, but when it came to the most important day of MY LIFE, i wanted it to be perfect and no one was going to screw it up. We even had back up money in place JUST IN CASE something crazy happened. (ie caterer blew up on the way to the ceremony) I wish your family luck, but that sucks and it might be time to sit back and take stock. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
evan9381 Posted May 24, 2008 Report Share Posted May 24, 2008 I have planned 4 weddings in the past 10 years. and i though I had shitty luck lol...j/k. i know what you meant Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Nitrousbird Posted May 24, 2008 Report Share Posted May 24, 2008 That wasn't responsible of them...at all. We are paying for our own wedding, though my fiancée's folks insist on paying for the reception dinner. We are making the plans based on paying for it ourselves. I'm sorry; 20k is a waste for a wedding. Ours out the door will be maybe 6-7k, and it is going to be a pretty decent setup (including a nice reception w/ sit-down meals, white glove service, and booze included). Why in the hell wouldn't they ask the mom about this, I don't know, more than 10 days before the freaking wedding?? I have zero pitty for them. Take some responsibility. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Drewhop Posted May 24, 2008 Report Share Posted May 24, 2008 That wasn't responsible of them...at all. We are paying for our own wedding, though my fiancée's folks insist on paying for the reception dinner. We are making the plans based on paying for it ourselves. I'm sorry; 20k is a waste for a wedding. Ours out the door will be maybe 6-7k, and it is going to be a pretty decent setup (including a nice reception w/ sit-down meals, white glove service, and booze included). Why in the hell wouldn't they ask the mom about this, I don't know, more than 10 days before the freaking wedding?? I have zero pitty for them. Take some responsibility. +1 could not have said it better myself Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SpaceGhost Posted May 24, 2008 Report Share Posted May 24, 2008 That wasn't responsible of them...at all. We are paying for our own wedding, though my fiancée's folks insist on paying for the reception dinner. We are making the plans based on paying for it ourselves. I'm sorry; 20k is a waste for a wedding. Ours out the door will be maybe 6-7k, and it is going to be a pretty decent setup (including a nice reception w/ sit-down meals, white glove service, and booze included). Why in the hell wouldn't they ask the mom about this, I don't know, more than 10 days before the freaking wedding?? I have zero pitty for them. Take some responsibility. God dammit I find myself agreeing more and more with you all the time, 20k for a wedding is a fucking waste of 13-15k dollars. Our wedding was 5-6k and we had many people attend our wedding it was not "small" by any means. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
smokin5s Posted May 24, 2008 Report Share Posted May 24, 2008 My wedding after everything is said and done is about that, but it's out of state and including travel and all that other stuff. like the one chick said, alot of things you can't do until they are paid for. Joe is right, it is obviously poor planning and they need to either try to take out loans (REALLY BAD IDEA) or hold off on the wedding. How old is the couple getting married anyways? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mrs.cos Posted May 24, 2008 Report Share Posted May 24, 2008 and i though I had shitty luck lol...j/k. i know what you meant lol.. yeah in hind sight, i have planned the weddings for OTHER people, not just myself. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
wnaplay1647545503 Posted May 24, 2008 Report Share Posted May 24, 2008 My wife is a professional cake decorator, if they need some help with the wedding cake, let me know and we will try to help. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Twistedrx7 Posted May 24, 2008 Author Report Share Posted May 24, 2008 In responce to eveything said. The dress did have a final fitting even though it wasnt paid for as of that momnt. Not sure how but they did. Her mom said she would take care of it all. She had enough money to do so, and this is her only daughter. I dont think this was poor planning on any of their parts. If her mom said i wll take care of it, just let me know how much i need to right the check for and who to make it out to. So they got every vendor lined up and serched for them themselves. They went to the cake testing and food tasting. It didnt come crashing down until the veil was going to be picked up and there was no dress. the veil was paid for but not the dress. So they looked into the other things and found out everyting didnt recieve the final payment. Besides the fact that her mom wrote in her check book the amount of each check that was supposedly written to make it look like things were paid for. Apparently she drained her partners accounts and retirement accounts, and ended up in the hospital for an OD on pain killers. She tried to kill herself. That is what sparked all of this. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Main3s Posted May 24, 2008 Report Share Posted May 24, 2008 Ouch! Well I know it may be out of the question to cancel now, but after reading this, it may not be a bad idea. Even if you were able to come up with the $20K for them or they got it themselves, there seems to be more then just money problems. So even though they would have this very nice wedding, it sounds like there are some other issues that need to be addressed that money CAN’T fix. I don’t know the details of the situation and I don’t know the people involved so I’m not trying to pass judgment but maybe letting things cool down and re-organize might be better in the long run. This is a very important event in both their lives, no reason it can’t or shouldn’t be just right. Either way I hope everything works out for them. I sympathize with your situation my best friend was going through a ruff time and it didn’t seem like I could help him out much either. The only thing I could do was just stand by him and give him all the support and help with what I could, that’s a tuff feeling. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
lawnman Posted May 24, 2008 Report Share Posted May 24, 2008 That wasn't responsible of them...at all. We are paying for our own wedding, though my fiancée's folks insist on paying for the reception dinner. We are making the plans based on paying for it ourselves. I'm sorry; 20k is a waste for a wedding. Ours out the door will be maybe 6-7k, and it is going to be a pretty decent setup (including a nice reception w/ sit-down meals, white glove service, and booze included). Why in the hell wouldn't they ask the mom about this, I don't know, more than 10 days before the freaking wedding?? I have zero pitty for them. Take some responsibility. gotta agree. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BLU BIRD Posted May 24, 2008 Report Share Posted May 24, 2008 tell them to wait until they can do it the way they want it done. if they half-ass it now, theyre gonna remember "the happiest day of their lives" as a shitty ceremony because they couldnt afford it This man speaks the truth!! it sucks to have to cancel everything, but in the end it will be a more memorable day for them. they will be glad they did it! you gotta have a reception now :nod: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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