ChickOn2 Posted May 31, 2009 Report Share Posted May 31, 2009 What's 12 inches long and white?Nothing.TAAAAhahahah Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
krzwhtman Posted May 31, 2009 Report Share Posted May 31, 2009 Q: How do you stop a Cleveland Browns player from beating off ??A: Paint his pecker Black & Gold , He'll never beat it again !!!!!Cavs disappointed us, but i'm a LIFE long Steelers fan ..... so im not as heart broken as you die hard Cleveland Fans. i can take the tribe and cavs short seasons this year.HERE WE GO SIXBURGH HERE WE GO !!!!! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cypress Posted August 5, 2009 Report Share Posted August 5, 2009 There was an older man that was married to a much younger woman, and he was having trouble lasting long enough in bed. So he went to the doctor and was told he should please himself before having sex and he would last longer. One day as 5 o'clock rolls around, he gets a call from his wife who says she's very horny. On his way home, he remembers what the doctor said and decides to jerk it before he gets home. He thinks, "Well, I can't do it in the car, but if I get under it I can pretend I'm fixing my car." So he gets under the car, closes his eyes, and starts jerkin it. A few minutes later, there's a tug at his pants leg. In order to keep the image of his beautiful wife, he doesn't open his eyes, but just hollars, "Yeah?" "I'm Officer Brown. What are you doing down there?" "Well, officer, I'm checking my axle; I think it's come lose." "Well, mister, while you're down there, you might wanna check your brakes; your car's 2 blocks down the road crashed into a tree." Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cypress Posted August 5, 2009 Report Share Posted August 5, 2009 A young man wished to purchase a gift for his new sweetheart's birthday, and as they had not been dating very long, after careful consideration he decided a pair of gloves would strike the right note -- romantic, but not too personal. Accompanied by his sweetheart's younger sister, he bought a pair of white gloves; the younger sister purchased a pair of panties for herself. During the wrapping, the clerk mixed up the items and the sister got the gloves and the sweetheart got the panties. Without checking the contents first, he sealed his package and mailed it to his sweetheart along with this note: -------------------------Darling, I chose these because I noticed that you are not in the habit of wearing any when we go out in the evening. If it had not been for your sister, I would have chosen the long ones with buttons, but she wears short ones that are easy to remove. These are a delicate shade, but the lady I bought them from showed me the pair she had been wearing for the past three weeks and they were hardly soiled. I had her try yours on for me and she looked really smart. I wish I were there to put them on you for the first time, as no doubt other hands will come in contact with them before I have a chance to see you again. When you take them off, remember to blow in them before putting them away as they will naturally be a little damp from wearing. Just think how many times I will kiss them during the coming year. I hope you will wear them for me on Friday night. All my Love,Hollingsworth P.S The latest style is to wear them folded down with a little fur showing. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Strictly Street Posted August 5, 2009 Report Share Posted August 5, 2009 (edited) (Click to enlarge the pic) Edited August 5, 2009 by Strictly Street Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cypress Posted August 5, 2009 Report Share Posted August 5, 2009 ^^^I'm sure he's sleeping on the couch for awhile. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Likwid Posted August 5, 2009 Report Share Posted August 5, 2009 And oldie but a goodie:Man walks into a bar and sees a big jar with hundreds of dollars in it. So naturally he asks "what's this for?"The bartender says "If you can make my horse laugh, you get all the money"The man puts $5 into the jar, walks to the back. Shortly after the bartender hears the horse laughing hysterically.The man walks out, takes the money and leaves.A few days later the man walks in to see another jar and another ongoing bet.The bartender says "you can have the money if you can make my horse cry"The man walks into the back, and moments later the bartender can hear the horse sobbing.The man walks out, takes his money and begins to leave. The bartender stops him.The Bartender: "wait wait, how did you do it, noone could do this before and you did it first try"The man replies: "Well the first time I told him my cock was bigger than his.... the second time I showed him" Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Likwid Posted August 5, 2009 Report Share Posted August 5, 2009 Holy shit, that was how I bought my Vulcan! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
chachi1189 Posted August 5, 2009 Report Share Posted August 5, 2009 Wanna hear a joke?Women's rights. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cypress Posted August 5, 2009 Report Share Posted August 5, 2009 ^^^I'll never admit to laughing at that. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mr Anderson Posted August 5, 2009 Report Share Posted August 5, 2009 to cbrgirl's jokes Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Gump Posted August 6, 2009 Report Share Posted August 6, 2009 Back in the Jesus days.A guy is getting stoned to death by a crowd of people.Jesus walks up and stops the crowd of stone throwers and says only one who has never sinned shall cast the next stone.A lady works her way thru the crowd picks up huge boulder and crushes the mans skull.Jesus pauses for a moment then says. MOM!!!sometimes you really know how to piss me off. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
max power Posted September 3, 2009 Report Share Posted September 3, 2009 The teacher asked the children to begin identifying the flavors by their color: Red - Cherry; Yellow - Lemon; Green - Lime; Orange - Orange But when she gave them all honey lifesavers, none of the children could identify the taste. The teacher said, 'I'll give you all a clue ... it's what your mother may sometimes call your father.' One little girl looked up in horror, spit her lifesaver out and yelled, 'Oh my God! They're ass-holes! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
siggywiggy Posted September 3, 2009 Report Share Posted September 3, 2009 lol ^^^Did you hear that there was a huge lump of coal heading down the highway out west! they shut down several major highways.apparently they are adding President Obama to mount rushmore:popcorn: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Aerik Posted September 3, 2009 Report Share Posted September 3, 2009 lol ^^^Did you hear that there was a huge lump of coal heading down the highway out west! they shut down several major highways.apparently they are adding President Obama to mount rushmore:popcorn:Really, man? You know, as a mixed guy, I can appreciate a little recreational racism, as long as it's good-natured and spread around evenly.But the joke has to at least be funny, if you want to avoid sounding like an asshole. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Giantxtc Posted September 3, 2009 Report Share Posted September 3, 2009 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tomcat0403 Posted September 3, 2009 Report Share Posted September 3, 2009 i lol'd...when i heard it the first time Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cypress Posted September 3, 2009 Report Share Posted September 3, 2009 (edited) Knock, knock...(Who's there?)Little boy blew...(Little boy blew who?)Michael JacksonWhat...too soon? Edited March 19, 2010 by Cypress Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tomcat0403 Posted September 3, 2009 Report Share Posted September 3, 2009 Hinds.... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Aerik Posted September 3, 2009 Report Share Posted September 3, 2009 Knock, knock...(Who's there?)Little boy blew...(Little boy blew who?)Micheal JacksonWhat...too soon?Never too soon. LMAO Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
RSVDon Posted September 3, 2009 Report Share Posted September 3, 2009 Really, man?I chuckled. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
chevysoldier Posted September 3, 2009 Report Share Posted September 3, 2009 What did walmart and michael jackson have in common?They both had little boys underwear half off. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ninjascott Posted September 3, 2009 Report Share Posted September 3, 2009 What do you call a harley that doesn't leak oil?Empty Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cypress Posted September 3, 2009 Report Share Posted September 3, 2009 What did walmart and michael jackson have in common?They both had little boys underwear half off.That's a good one. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
siggywiggy Posted September 3, 2009 Report Share Posted September 3, 2009 what does mj and caviar have in common? they both cum on little white crackersim not trying to be racist,cause im not. i just think they are funny. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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