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F-ing Tinder


BigOxley

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i'm on hiatus as well, in love. just kidding, but going to see how things go with the blond, she seems sweet. my buddy said if i even think of marriage again, he will punch me in the face, no warning.

 

i'm going to steer clear of athletes for the time being. current gf likes to work out a little, but that's it. i've dated two triathletes and found them to be the craziest so far. absolutely batshit nuts.

 

the one, i dated for a long time right after filing for divorce. this chick was so aggressive, so type-A, it was out of control. i can remember going on a date with her one time, just walking along, and she reached up, grabbed what felt like a handful of nose hair (from MY nose), and yanked it out--no warning. fucking hilarious to tell the story now, but it was some of the worst pain i've ever had, and she was like "shave it next time, or else". she was sponsored by red bull, and a couple other companies, and pretty much won just about every race she ever did. she had abs on top of abs.

 

one particular race, my ex was also in. my ex was ok, but not even remotely in the same league as this chick. my ex told this girl 'good luck'. her reply? "what kind of coffee do you like?"----"because i'm going to finish the race, take a shit, shower, grab lunch, and i'll buy you coffee". good times. this chick liked to have sex though. in the end, she was just too aggressive, way too pushy, and i couldn't take it.

 

edit--- she was the one who thought it was a great idea to 'use' the front seat of my ex's SUV. million other crazy stories from this girl.

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one particular race, my ex was also in. my ex was ok, but not even remotely in the same league as this chick. my ex told this girl 'good luck'. her reply? "what kind of coffee do you like?"----"because i'm going to finish the race, take a shit, shower, grab lunch, and i'll buy you coffee". good times. this chick liked to have sex though. in the end, she was just too aggressive, way too pushy, and i couldn't take it.

 

edit--- she was the one who thought it was a great idea to 'use' the front seat of my ex's SUV. million other crazy stories from this girl.

 

Did she piss a ring around your house too to mark her territory? jeez.

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I'm on hiatus. Those are all my "good" stories. I found a nice blonde with a great pair bolt-ons and makes way more $$$ than me. Going to let this one play out.

 

Weird. I didn't notice any new pictures...

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Weird. I didn't notice any new pictures...

 

 

If I get some good ones, maybe. We haven't done the social media swap yet and her stuff is all private.

 

 

Side note: we were talking about Tinder last and she showed me some of her matches. BITCH HAS 99 FUCKING MATCHES.

 

I topped out at 31 when I was on :(

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Did she piss a ring around your house too to mark her territory? jeez.

 

No shit. My brother used to say nearly the same thing.

 

She was smart, successful, gorgeous, and an absolute champion. I was attracted to all of that. But she had the attitude and temper that gives New Yorkers a bad name, and there was only so much I could take before I just said enough. Some people can never turn off the competitive mindset, and relax.

 

I visited her in New York for a weekend. We met and took a cab downtown. Two minutes into the cab ride she says to the cab driver "hey buddy, the fucking gas pedal is on the right---all the cabbies in New York, and we got the slowest fucking one". Seriously thought we were on candid camera or something.

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No shit. My brother used to say nearly the same thing.

 

She was smart, successful, gorgeous, and an absolute champion. I was attracted to all of that. But she had the attitude and temper that gives New Yorkers a bad name, and there was only so much I could take before I just said enough. Some people can never turn off the competitive mindset, and relax.

 

I visited her in New York for a weekend. We met and took a cab downtown. Two minutes into the cab ride she says to the cab driver "hey buddy, the fucking gas pedal is on the right---all the cabbies in New York, and we got the slowest fucking one". Seriously thought we were on candid camera or something.

 

Good god. CRAZY doesn't begin to describe her. I hope she was a wild fuck. Wow.

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I visited her in New York for a weekend. We met and took a cab downtown. Two minutes into the cab ride she says to the cab driver "hey buddy, the fucking gas pedal is on the right---all the cabbies in New York, and we got the slowest fucking one".

 

Every Ny'er says this at least once.

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being from the midwest, and generally polite, my jaw hit the floor. i thought she knew the guy, or was joking. apparently, some places in the US that's considered normal behavior.

 

This is normal for New York. They are full of angry people. Must be from all the rats that co-exist in all their structures.

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Whelp, guys, I don't think the girl I'm talking to is going anywhere. I'm pretty sure she's banging another guy(s). Standby for the thread Tinder v2.0. I'll figure it out before the end of the weekend

 

I don't mean to sound like a dick here but...are you surprised that a girl you met on tinder is banging other dudes?

 

look forward to update. #marrieddudeslivingvicariously

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I don't mean to sound like a dick here but...are you surprised that a girl you met on tinder is banging other dudes?

 

 

 

look forward to update. #marrieddudeslivingvicariously

 

 

Nope, just telling you guys what's going down. This girl was technically from Bumble, but same difference.

 

Might see if I can keep her on the "payroll"

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look forward to update. #marrieddudeslivingvicariously

 

Though married, i'm still 100% glad I don't have to date in the Tinder/iPhone/Emoji world. If it came to that, I'd just buy a 55 gallon drum of lube and fap all day.

 

http://www.amazon.com/Passion-Natural-Water-Based-Lubricant-Gallon/dp/B005MR3IVO

 

Reviews are fucking WIN!

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12 month financing!!!!

 

 

Now, I admit the price tag was kinda hefty. But after selling the ol' Pontiac Sunfire and borrowing some cash from Aunt Gladys, I was "ready to place my order."

 

so full of win.

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