Big Chief201 Posted April 16, 2011 Report Share Posted April 16, 2011 This is pretty funnyhttp://annarbor.craigslist.org/bik/2322212002.htmlBike for sale What kind of bike? I don't know, I'm not a bike scientist. What I am though is a manly guy looking to sell his bike. This bike is made out of metal and kick ass spokes. The back reflector was taken off, but if you think that deters me from riding at night, you're way wrong. I practiced ninja training in Japan's mount Fuji for 5 years and the first rule they teach about ninja biking is that back reflectors let the enemy know where you are. Not having a rear reflector is like saying "FUCK YOU CAR, JUST TRY AND FIND ME". The bike says Giant on the side because it's referring to my junk, but rest assured even if you have tiny junk that Giant advertisement is going to remain right where it is. I bought this bike for 300 dollars from a retired mercenary that fought in both World War 1 and World War 2 and had his right arm bitten off by a shark in the Phillipines while stationed there as a shark handler. When he sold it to me I had to arm wrestle him for the honor to buy it. I broke his arm in 7 places when I did. He was so impressed with me he offered me to be his son but I thought that was sissy shit so I said no way. The bike has some rusted screws, but that just shows how much of a bad ass you are. Everyone knows rusted screws on a bike means that you probably drove it underwater and that's bad ass in itself. Those screws can be replaced with shiny new ones, but if you're going to go to that trouble why not just punch yourself in the balls since you're probably a dickless lizard who doesn't like to look intimidating. The bike is for men because the seat is flat or some shit and not shaped like a dildo. If you like flat seated bikes you're going to love this thing because it doesn't try to penetrate your ass or anything. I've topped out at 75 miles per hour on this uphill but if you're just a regular man you'll probably top it out at 10 miles per hour. This thing is listed as a street bike which is man-code for bike tank. The bike has 7 speeds in total: Gear 1 - Sissy Gear Gear 2 - Less Sissy Gear Gear 3 - Least Sissy Gear Gear 4 - Boy Gear Gear 5 - Pre-teen Boy Gear Gear 6 - Manly Gear Gear 7 - Big Muscles Gear I only like gear 6 and 7 to be honest. Additionally, this tool of all immense men comes with a gigantic lock to keep it secure. The lock is the size of a bull's testicles and tells people you don't fuck around with locking up your bike tank. It tells would-be-thieves "Hey asshole, touch this bike and I'll appear from the bushes ready to club you with a two-by-four". Bike is for 150 OBO (and don't give me no panzy prices) 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jst2fst Posted April 16, 2011 Report Share Posted April 16, 2011 is he serious this manly bike tops out at 75 mph damn and I just bought a bike too. Wonder if he'll arm wrestle me for the honor of not buying it probably a piece of shit..... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
2talltim Posted April 16, 2011 Report Share Posted April 16, 2011 Thats funny as hell Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
alienpi Posted April 17, 2011 Report Share Posted April 17, 2011 Wow, no rear reflector! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
chevysoldier Posted April 17, 2011 Report Share Posted April 17, 2011 I wanna see pix of this! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
max power Posted April 17, 2011 Report Share Posted April 17, 2011 Funny, but wrong. There is nothing manly about a bicycle. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Beegreenstrings Posted April 18, 2011 Report Share Posted April 18, 2011 wow... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TRMN8TR Posted April 19, 2011 Report Share Posted April 19, 2011 Haha, I laughed. $150 for a giant though, kinda steep Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
dorifto240 Posted April 23, 2011 Report Share Posted April 23, 2011 I would like any would be thieves to know that I now have a new security system in place on all my belongings.It involves some bushes. And a 2x4. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Recommended Posts
Join the conversation
You can post now and register later. If you have an account, sign in now to post with your account.