Saw an ad for this last night. Comes out Friday. Looks, well, maybe stupid BUT: - Directed by Robert Rodriguez (Sin City, Grindhouse) - (one of the) Producers is Quentin Tarantino - Stars: -- Danny Trejo -- Steven Segal -- Michelle Rodriguez - single fap -- Cheech (either our very own or the other famous one - I'm not sure which) -- Jessica Alba - triple fap -- Bobby DeNiro -- Lindsey Lohan - depending upon drugged-up status, either single, double, or triple fap -- Rose McGowan - single fap, except years ago when she showed up at some awards thing in a chain-mail dress - that was double fap material Drug lords, illegal aliens, kung fu, machete fu, assassinations... - Plot, per IMDB: The highly skilled Federale Machete is hired by some unsavory types to assassinate a senator. But just as he's about to take the shot, he notices someone aiming at him and realizes he's been set up. He barely survives the sniper's bullet, and is soon out for revenge on his former employers, with the reluctant assistance of his old friend Cheech Marin, who has become a priest and taken a vow of nonviolence.