Questions for you to answer...

[ZoomZoom6]

Questions that haunt me:

 

Can you cry under water?

 

How important does a person have to be before they are considered assassinated instead of just murdered?

 

Why do you have to 'put your two cents in'... but it's only a 'penny for your thoughts'? Where's that extra penny going to?

 

Once you're in heaven, do you get stuck wearing the clothes you were buried in for eternity?

 

Why does a round pizza come in a square box?

 

What disease did cured ham actually have?

 

How is it that we put man on the moon before we figured out it would be a good idea to put wheels on luggage?

 

Why is it that people say they 'slept like a baby' when babies wake up like every two hours?

 

If a deaf person has to go to court, is it still called a hearing?

 

Why are you IN a movie, but you're ON TV?

 

Why do people pay to go up tall buildings and then put money in binoculars to look at things on the ground?

 

Why do doctors leave the room while you change?

They're going to see you naked anyway.

 

Why is 'bra' singular and 'panties' plural?

 

Why do toasters always have a setting that burns the toast to a horrible crisp, which no decent human being would eat?

 

If Jimmy cracks corn and no one cares, why is there a stupid song about him?

 

Can a hearse carrying a corpse drive in the carpool lane?

 

If the professor on Gilligan's Island can make a radio out of a coconut, why can't he fix a hole in a boat?

 

Why does Goofy stand erect while Pluto remains on all fours?

They're both dogs!

 

If Wile E. Coyote had enough money to buy all that ACME crap, why didn't he just buy dinner?

 

If corn oil is made from corn, and vegetable oil is made from vegetables, what is baby oil made from?

 

If electricity comes from electrons, does morality come from morons?

 

Do the Alphabet song and Twinkle, Twinkle Little Star have the same tune?

 

Why did you just try singing the two songs above?

 

Why do they call it an asteroid when it's outside the hemisphere, but call it a hemorrhoid when it's in your butt?

 

Did you ever notice that when you blow in a dog's face, he gets mad at you, but when you take him for a car ride, he sticks his head out the window?

[Smokey]

well...I just happened to stumble on this one, so lemmie have at it.

 

Can you cry under water?

who cares, but i'm sure it's possible, you'd drown when you began to weep though, so you better keep it to little tears

How important does a person have to be before they are considered assassinated instead of just murdered?

I would think they could be used interchangably, but I'd say that it's more of an effort thing. If there's more than one person involved in the planning of the killing, then it's an assassination. As far as a guess, i'd say if you're popular enough to be in the local paper, then it'll be an assassination....so a mayor or higher up.

Why does a round pizza come in a square box?

so you can actually reach in and grab a piece. if they came in form fitting round boxes it'd be a complete pain in the ass to get that first piece out.

What disease did cured ham actually have?

it needed more salt

How is it that we put man on the moon before we figured out it would be a good idea to put wheels on luggage?

NASA had this technology, but it just hadn't filtered to the private sector yet

Why is it that people say they 'slept like a baby' when babies wake up like every two hours?

referring to the TYPE of sleep, when a baby falls asleep they're generally OUT

If a deaf person has to go to court, is it still called a hearing?

yes, the court does the hearing...now, has there ever been a deaf judge?

Why do people pay to go up tall buildings and then put money in binoculars to look at things on the ground?

same reason people pull the "stranger"...same thing but different you know?

Why do doctors leave the room while you change?

They're going to see you naked anyway.

they like the surprise and they're busy taking bets with the other doctors what you look like naked

Why is 'bra' singular and 'panties' plural?

how do you know it's not one of those plurals that sounds singular...like Moose

Why do toasters always have a setting that burns the toast to a horrible crisp, which no decent human being would eat?

because if it didn't people would bitch that the product didn't give them the option to burn it to shit

If Jimmy cracks corn and no one cares, why is there a stupid song about him?

it's technically "I don't care"...so maybe the song assumes that others care, and he's pointing out how he's so cool that he doesn't care.....basically like the original internet shit talker here

Can a hearse carrying a corpse drive in the carpool lane?

of course! who would have the stones to pull him over?

If the professor on Gilligan's Island can make a radio out of a coconut, why can't he fix a hole in a boat?

that show is a piece of shit and I refuse to watch it....but basically the professor was trying to get laid and wanted to keep the women on the island to better his chances. Plus, it was a fiberglass hull...not easy to fix and make sea-worthy without the proper materials.

Why does Goofy stand erect while Pluto remains on all fours?

They're both dogs!

Snoop Dogg walks right? but my dog is on all fours

If Wile E. Coyote had enough money to buy all that ACME crap, why didn't he just buy dinner?

he just wanted the thrill of the kill

If corn oil is made from corn, and vegetable oil is made from vegetables, what is baby oil made from?

dead babies....stop using it!!!

If electricity comes from electrons, does morality come from morons?

quite possibly, there are plenty of morons who believe their morality is perfect because it came from a book.

Do the Alphabet song and Twinkle, Twinkle Little Star have the same tune?

 

Why did you just try singing the two songs above?

you got me on that one....i was singing

Why do they call it an asteroid when it's outside the hemisphere, but call it a hemorrhoid when it's in your butt?

they were going to call them asteroids but by that time the word had already been used....so hemorrhoids would have to do....could also have to do with the hemorrhaging going on within your ass!

Did you ever notice that when you blow in a dog's face, he gets mad at you, but when you take him for a car ride, he sticks his head out the window?

the dog isn't pissed about the blowing, it's pissed when it realizes that you were just pretending to have taken it in the car

 

enjoy my jackass responses

[Akula]

Questions that haunt me:

 

Can you cry under water?

like sobbing, weeping, or crying like to cry out yelling?

 

either way, yes.

 

How important does a person have to be before they are considered assassinated instead of just murdered?

typically this is a murder of a political or religious figure so only a little important

 

Why do you have to 'put your two cents in'... but it's only a 'penny for your thoughts'? Where's that extra penny going to?

 

Neither of these Idioms make cents to me....

 

Once you're in heaven, do you get stuck wearing the clothes you were buried in for eternity?

 

Nope, cuz a soul don't need clothing.

 

Why does a round pizza come in a square box?

because if it wasnt the boxes would roll around the store all the time

 

What disease did cured ham actually have?

triconosis

 

How is it that we put man on the moon before we figured out it would be a good idea to put wheels on luggage?

focus, the astronaughts didn't have luggage

 

Why is it that people say they 'slept like a baby' when babies wake up like every two hours?

because when they are asleep, nothing can wake them (aside from hunger, or wetness)

 

If a deaf person has to go to court, is it still called a hearing?

the court does the hearing, not the plaintiff/defendent

 

Why are you IN a movie, but you're ON TV?

because you can carry the DVD that you are in, once the tv is off you aren't on anymore.

 

Why do people pay to go up tall buildings and then put money in binoculars to look at things on the ground?

Perspective

 

Why do doctors leave the room while you change?

They're going to see you naked anyway.

they are busy spending the money you are going to give them

 

Why is 'bra' singular and 'panties' plural?

cuz bras and panty is just strange

 

Why do toasters always have a setting that burns the toast to a horrible crisp, which no decent human being would eat?

as the element deteriorates you may need to crank the amperage to this point to get a perfectly toasted piece of bread

 

If Jimmy cracks corn and no one cares, why is there a stupid song about him?

People like to be entertained

 

Can a hearse carrying a corpse drive in the carpool lane?

yes because there are usually two mortitions in there

 

If the professor on Gilligan's Island can make a radio out of a coconut, why can't he fix a hole in a boat?

they were shooting for 100 episodes so the show could go into sydicated rerun

 

Why does Goofy stand erect while Pluto remains on all fours?

They're both dogs!

one is beyond domesticated

 

If Wile E. Coyote had enough money to buy all that ACME crap, why didn't he just buy dinner?

that is a head scratcher, perhaps he only had the ACME catalog and they don't sell food

 

If corn oil is made from corn, and vegetable oil is made from vegetables, what is baby oil made from?

small corn and small vegetables

 

If electricity comes from electrons, does morality come from morons?

no, moralrons

 

Do the Alphabet song and Twinkle, Twinkle Little Star have the same tune?

depends on who is on the piano

 

Why did you just try singing the two songs above?

to see if they were

 

Why do they call it an asteroid when it's outside the hemisphere, but call it a hemorrhoid when it's in your butt?

asteroids are outside the atmosphere, not the hemisphere

 

Did you ever notice that when you blow in a dog's face, he gets mad at you, but when you take him for a car ride, he sticks his head out the window?

my dog doesnt get mad, he sneezes on me

[Ramsey]

not to thread jack.

 

questions that haunt me,

 

what are taxes that people in europe pay? income, sales, gas??

 

Why are nights and weekends free for cell phones?

 

why do democrats think they are so smart?

 

Why did building 7 fall down?(i guess every question that us 9/11 truthers have)

 

Why is there only 2 major politcal parties?

 

Where is osama?

 

why dont more places use the 2 dollar bill?

 

who watches the news?

 

where can i get un basis news?

 

who do you eat your reeses?

 

why doesnt chipotle have a drive thru?

 

Where is the best place to live?

[Putty]

too much work...

[dragknee66]

too much work...

 

fo real

[ZoomZoom6]

too much work...

 

lol I guess I should have titled it differently. I didn't think people would actually answer them. Looks like you guys have gotten the hang of listening to what a woman tells you to do Good boys

 

I just got a laugh out of the questions while reading through them, never really thought about literally answering them myself. But reading the answers has kept me entertained at work at least.

[Scotty2Hotty]

Can you cry under water?

Probably, but the last girl I held under water just let out bubbles.

 

How important does a person have to be before they are considered assassinated instead of just murdered?

Hmmmmm, I think atleast senator and above or civil rights figure.

 

Why do you have to 'put your two cents in'... but it's only a 'penny for your thoughts'? Where's that extra penny going to?

Taxes.

 

Once you're in heaven, do you get stuck wearing the clothes you were buried in for eternity?

I'd rather be neked.

 

Why does a round pizza come in a square box?

Keeps the heat in?

 

What disease did cured ham actually have?

It wasn't bacon enough.

 

How is it that we put man on the moon before we figured out it would be a good idea to put wheels on luggage?

Got me.

 

Why is it that people say they 'slept like a baby' when babies wake up like every two hours?

I'm assuming a peaceful non turbulent sleep.

 

If a deaf person has to go to court, is it still called a hearing?

 

Why are you IN a movie, but you're ON TV?

ON is live.

 

Why do people pay to go up tall buildings and then put money in binoculars to look at things on the ground?

Because you feel dirty when you peer at people.

 

Why do doctors leave the room while you change?

They're going to see you naked anyway.

They want you to feel more human

 

Why is 'bra' singular and 'panties' plural?

2 leg holes make it plural?

 

Why do toasters always have a setting that burns the toast to a horrible crisp, which no decent human being would eat?

In case the toast was still alive.

 

If Jimmy cracks corn and no one cares, why is there a stupid song about him?

Hmmmmmmm

 

Can a hearse carrying a corpse drive in the carpool lane?

The bodies are all that counts.

 

If the professor on Gilligan's Island can make a radio out of a coconut, why can't he fix a hole in a boat?

He wasn't a sailor.

 

Why does Goofy stand erect while Pluto remains on all fours?

Goofy's name emplies it.

 

If Wile E. Coyote had enough money to buy all that ACME crap, why didn't he just buy dinner?

It was the sport of trying to catch that roadrunner bastard bird.

 

If corn oil is made from corn, and vegetable oil is made from vegetables, what is baby oil made from?

Dead aborted fetuses.

 

If electricity comes from electrons, does morality come from morons?

For some in California, yes.

 

Do the Alphabet song and Twinkle, Twinkle Little Star have the same tune?

I think the same melody.

 

Why did you just try singing the two songs above?

For I don't know the alphabet without singing that damn song.

 

Why do they call it an asteroid when it's outside the hemisphere, but call it a hemorrhoid when it's in your butt?

 

Did you ever notice that when you blow in a dog's face, he gets mad at you, but when you take him for a car ride, he sticks his head out the window?

You disrespect him with the blow.

[cptn janks]

why dont more places use the 2 dollar bill?

 

because it is gay