Which one are you?

[Aesthetic_Influx]

Types of Online Personalities

 

Click for some lulz.

[Duff1647545513]

cliffs

[BloodRed]

that was funny, can easily relate to many on here

 

oh yeah LOL

[Aesthetic_Influx]

cliffs

Here's the best I can do without killing all of the humor.

 

 

1. The FIRST! Guy

über-cliffs: guy who writes "first" in a thread

 

The mental marsupial whose contribution to the great discussions of our online times is to post the first response to any given topic, consisting of the comment "FIRST!" Clever? No. Original? No. Ironically self-mocking in a postmodern deconstructionist kind of way? Uh, no.

 

 

2. The Self-Promoter

über-cliffs: shameless plugs everywhere

 

The Self-Promoter is a message board classic: This bore meanders across the Web, leaving thinly disguised comments designed to pimp his own project. Sometimes, he'll take a stab at making the promotion look incidental: "Man, that new iPhone software does look rad! You should check out my blog about Windows Mobile here!"

 

 

3. The Sermonator

über-cliffs: Paragraphs for every response, usually preachy

 

A close relative to the Self-Promoter, the Sermonator trolls various comment forums to find some way to divert the conversation to his favorite subject--most often something related to morals, religion, or a particular political view. No discussion is too interesting and no community too engaged for the Sermonator to subvert into a tedious homily on his topic of choice.

 

 

4. Mr. Credentials

über-cliffs: super-long responses to make himself feel superior

 

First he encourages everyone to focus on his superior CV, rather than on the objective reasonableness of his views. Then he'll launch into a 500-word essay designed to show just how well-versed he is on the subject at hand (or whatever subject he wants to talk about), overwhelming all resistance with the sheer force and volume of his hot air.

 

 

5. The Antagonizer

über-cliffs: asshole

 

The Antagonizer takes things to another, more primitive level, resorting to personal attacks and insults in what may be a nostalgic flashback to carefree bygone days as a third-grade bully.

 

 

6. The Moderator

über-cliffs: superior and veteran asshole

 

Taking a slightly subtler approach to making visitors feel unwelcome, the Moderator maintains an air of superiority as he bunkers down each day on a particular site's comment section or message board for another 16-hour stint as archivist-in-residence. He's the cool kid--the site vet who's been around for a long time and knows what's what. Leave a message that repeats something someone else said 16 months ago, and he'll let you know about it within minutes.

 

 

7. Peacekeeper

über-cliffs: hippy

 

This guy has been a regular at a particular site as long as the proprietor, but his goal as a participant has somehow devolved from saying something interesting to keeping the peace--and he has no problem peppering every thread with his efforts to intervene as Mr. Manners.

 

 

8. Smarty Pants

über-cliffs: educated asshole

 

The Smarty Pants' goal is to find and expose inaccuracies--no matter how insignificant--solely as a means to demonstrate his intellectual superiority. A Smarty Pants constantly runs a fine-toothed comb through both a site's original articles and its comments in search of nits to pick: factual errors, grammatical errors, typos--it doesn't matter. The instant he finds one, he pounces on the offending poster, thrashing him with the wet capellini of his erudition.

 

 

9. Fanboy

über-cliffs: asshole with blinders

 

The most common Fanboy tendency is to worship either something (or everything) Apple-related or something (or everything) Microsoft-related. One unmistakable sign that you're dealing with a Fanboy of this kind--and not with just an enthusiast--is that, even though the object of his veneration is ultimately a product for sale, he somehow manages to subordinate technological and monetary considerations to moral imperatives.

 

 

10. The Conspiracy Theorist

über-cliffs: dumbass

 

The Conspiracy Theorist is often convinced that he's under constant surveillance by the government--for some reason they've singled him out (and even more mysteriously, they haven't bothered to terminate him yet, despite his constant blabbing)--and he sees signs of schemes in the strangest places.

 

 

11. The Signature Dork

über-cliffs: internet warrior who works from home

 

The Signature Dork appends a 14-line signature to the bottom of each of his posts to the forum or comments section. The boilerplate often consists of the dork's name and titles, followed by a (lengthy) quotable quote, system specs, possibly a grocery list, more quotes (usually from Einstein or Isaac Asimov), followed by a straggling line of crappy-looking, home-made animated GIFs.

 

 

12. Johnny One-Word

über-cliffs: comedian, sometimes asshole

 

This character seems to hate everything about the publication whose forum he frequents, and yet he seemingly never misses a chance to read and comment on a story. (He gets his name because of his tendency to express his dismay in comments of a single word: "Lame." "Whatever." "Wrong." "Fail.")

[Mr. Jones]

I present to you, Spaceghost/Ben (have to imagine an apple product in his hand rather than a cigaratte)

 

http://images.pcworld.com/news/graphics/163734-propriet26001_slide.jpg

[Duff1647545513]

lol thank you

[Alex L.]

I feel like kind of a smarty-pants/Johnny one-word combo.

[BIGGU]

I present to you, Spaceghost/Ben (have to imagine an apple product in his hand rather than a cigaratte)

 

http://images.pcworld.com/news/graphics/163734-propriet26001_slide.jpg

 

is it wrong that when i saw this picture i immediately thought of ben and apple products?