Jump to content

looking for advice to see what everyone thinks...

smokin5s

By smokin5s
in Dumpster

 Share

Recommended Posts

smokin5s Rookie

smokin5s

Posted
Posted

I have a friend with a step daughter. She has been able to get away with everything for as long as he has known her. Back in December, she cussed him out and when he went to ground her, she called her grandmother and she has been living there ever since. Now she wants to come back and he said that she has to serve her punishment if she comes home. His wife is saying she was punished at gma's, but yet she went to friends houses daily as well as was grounded for a week (he has the txt's to prove it) before the cussing out ever took place so he thinks she should still serve another week of grounding regardless if she was "grounded" at her grand parents or not.

 

His wife is now threatening divorice if he doesn't cave saying he's holding a grudge.

 

Who's right? What would you do in this situation?

Link to comment
Share on other sites
copperhead Rookie

copperhead

Posted
Posted
Not his kid, the reality is he probably isn't the legal guardian and has no authority over the kid unless the wife gives it to him. If she isn't going to support his decisions then the relationship is probably going to fail one way or another.
Link to comment
Share on other sites
smokin5s Rookie

smokin5s

Posted
  • Author
Posted

He is the legal guardian and she told him no one in their right mind would agree with him because he is just "holding a grudge" against her so i told him i would post it and see who is right.

 

Oh ya they also have kids together even though divorce might be imminate, he wants things to work out but is not willing to give in because he has been making that mistake for years.

 

As far as what farkas said, it only doesnt do good if its not inforced and the other party is making them think they did no wrong.

Link to comment
Share on other sites
verse Newbie

verse

Posted
Posted

I'd probably ground her and take away her phone, no texts or facebook shit. That seems to be the best punishment for younger kids these days.

 

They obviously need to be on the same page though. If she's going to be an idiot and let the girl walk all over them then he might as well get out.

Link to comment
Share on other sites
nurkvinny Enthusiast

nurkvinny

Posted
Posted
So, I spoke to a social worker just now about this. Their opinion is that expecting the daughter to "serve" her time is reasonable, and would only be unreasonable if the girl is young, say 4-6, where she did not fully understand the consequences of her actions.
Link to comment
Share on other sites
smokin5s Rookie

smokin5s

Posted
  • Author
Posted
So, I spoke to a social worker just now about this. Their opinion is that expecting the daughter to "serve" her time is reasonable, and would only be unreasonable if the girl is young, say 4-6, where she did not fully understand the consequences of her actions.

She's 14.....

Link to comment
Share on other sites
Richard Cranium Newbie

Richard Cranium

Posted
Posted

I'd agree that some family counceling is in order. The adults (mother and step-father) need to work as a team and be in agreement, otherwise the kids will play them off against each other and win every time. Never let the kids divide and conquer.

 

While I'm not a parent, I do understand that you have to be careful with what you say, and you have to follow through with it every time. Otherwise the kids will learn that you don't mean what you say, and that you will waffle if they put you on the spot and make you live up to your word. Depending on the history 2 weeks sounds a little bit much, but if that's what he said, then that's what he has to do. I'm a fan of making the kid stew a little bit while I calm down and rationally think through what I'm going to do. Oh, and they are grounded (no friends, phone, etc...) while I'm thinking.

Link to comment
Share on other sites
kirks5oh Newbie

kirks5oh

Posted
Posted
She needs to serve the time. I'd crush the cell phone right in front of her and take away fagbook for two weeks. She has to do chores to earn money to buy another cell phone. Or she can go live with grandma for good. I'd say divorce is imminent without 3rd party input (counseling)
Link to comment
Share on other sites
Xyster101 Newbie

Xyster101

Posted
Posted
Grounding a child doesn't do dick.

 

100% disagree, it worked for me. Forced me to keep good grades and do less troubling things.

 

 

 

Agreed with what is said above. As an educator we see kids play off divorced parents all the time. One parent is the "good" parent, basically lets kids get away with anything. One parent is the "bad" who cares, grounds, holds kids accountable. She needs to serve her sentence. Mom should not have let her leave to grandma's in the first place. Mom needs to be grounded.

Link to comment
Share on other sites
smokin5s Rookie

smokin5s

Posted
  • Author
Posted
I'd agree that some family counceling is in order. The adults (mother and step-father) need to work as a team and be in agreement, otherwise the kids will play them off against each other and win every time. Never let the kids divide and conquer.

 

While I'm not a parent, I do understand that you have to be careful with what you say, and you have to follow through with it every time. Otherwise the kids will learn that you don't mean what you say, and that you will waffle if they put you on the spot and make you live up to your word. Depending on the history 2 weeks sounds a little bit much, but if that's what he said, then that's what he has to do. I'm a fan of making the kid stew a little bit while I calm down and rationally think through what I'm going to do. Oh, and they are grounded (no friends, phone, etc...) while I'm thinking.

She was grounded for something else first.... It wasn't 2 weeks for the cussing out although I think 2 weeks is justified for the cussing

Link to comment
Share on other sites
evan9381 Newbie

evan9381

Posted
Posted

http://www.columbusracing.com/forums/showthread.php?t=95719

 

http://www.columbusracing.com/forums/showthread.php?t=99013&highlight=divorce&page=2 post 48

 

Either you have a friend you just love to post about, or you need to quit being a pussy and say your step daughter wont quit being a fucking cunt. Lol

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Join the conversation

You can post now and register later. If you have an account, sign in now to post with your account.

Guest
Reply to this topic...

×   Pasted as rich text.   Paste as plain text instead

  Only 75 emoji are allowed.

×   Your link has been automatically embedded.   Display as a link instead

×   Your previous content has been restored.   Clear editor

×   You cannot paste images directly. Upload or insert images from URL.

×
 Share
Go to topic listing
×
×
  • Create New...