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F-ing Tinder


BigOxley

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Went out with a different girl a couple weeks ago. Eating disorders and fake boobs were her best qualities. Banged her on the 2nd date (earlier in the night she said she had a 5 date rule). Took her to the Revenant on Sunday and dropped her off. SHE says she wants to see me on Thurs. Thursday rolls around, I texted. No response. Friday morning she texts saying "sorry, it wasn't clicking, blah blah blah" I say "cool whatever" BITCH, YOU SET UP THE DATE.
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This may offend some... But good chances for "excellent" relationships dry up as you approach 30.

 

All my "I'm loving being single" friends (when we were 25) are now shitting their pants at age 32 because it seems like the "market" is full of damaged goods. My friends who are actually on Match.com and trying to find a mate are finding some pretty weird women.

 

The "I moonlight as a bus driver" chick

The girl with the dick nose

The girl who was a full blown alky

The girl with wide hips and no tits

 

I mean... There's a reason they aren't married already.

 

Abso-fucking-lutly true.

 

I'm 32, my current GF (who I'll probably marry if I'm being honest) is 27, once you hit 30 as a man the dating pool is a fraction of what it was when you were 25. I have a good friend who is 27 now and he's just going through women like they're disposable (we've all been there so whatever) but I keep telling him he's going to regret it when he hits 30-33 years old and there's literally no one worth dating left.

 

Tinder = the Clearance section of the dating world.

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So, it's been a dry spell and decide to hit up tinder. meet with a couple of girls, the last one isn't super cute but cute enough. real big tits compared to her body... so whatever.

 

get with her last night, she wanted me to go to happy hour with her friends whom i've never met. said "thanks, but no thanks"... she comes over afterward. she half in the bag so i take her to dinner down the street.

 

we get back to my place, start making out. she decides to take it to the bedroom. cool. strip down and reach for the condoms. go to pound town. she gets a weird look on her face and stops. asks if i'm wearing a condom, i say "yeah why?" SHE FUCKING STARTS CRYING WHILE MY DICK INSIDE HER. anti-boner engaged.

 

wake up in the morning. ask wtf that was all about. she says that she is mildly allergic to latex and never bangs with condoms and isn't currently on birth control.

 

needless to say, im never going to see her again.

 

never has this been so relevant > :nopics:

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hairy pits, adams apple, she was a tranny bro.

 

But seriously we have all been there, and I agree it dries up at 30. As with anything, if you arrive at the sale too late, only the shitty stuff is left. I have a mutual friend who has been dating chronically for years. She is 36 and has never found a "guy with quality" that fit her. Honestly im sure she is just too picky. Wants a dream guy, and at that age, they are all gone or have tons of baggage.

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there are some amateur porn sites that recruit on tinder. Or maybe they just say they do trading off of tinder's reputation as a hide the baloney meat market. either way that should tell you something about 1) real prospects on tinder, and 2) probably not the best to judge all online dating based on a few tinder experiences.

 

I mean I can't imagine there are a lot of J-date people that are netflix and chill, or hump and dump, or whatever the kids are calling semi-anonymous sex in a public bathroom these days.

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Honestly why do people even fuck with tinder? I would rather pay a whore for A) the higher likelihood of finding a 9 or 10, B) lower likelihood of STDs, C) way less crazy, and D) they get the fuck out when you give them the money and pick up the damn phone if you want some more hole without all the goddamn games.

 

 

Disclaimer: I've never been on tinder nor have I ever paid for sex.

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Met my girlfriend on there. We had a mutual friend who wanted to set us up...4 months down the road. Seriously told me about her in September and wanted to organize a snow tubing trip in January for a bunch of people...said fuck that and started talking to her when I saw her on tinder. Glad I didn't wait.

 

Then finally met her parents and siblings about 2.5 months later at Mitchell's steak house while her brother and sister in law were in town from CO. Neither of us wanted to tell her family we met on tinder, so when the question came up where we met, she started to say "we have a mutual friend" but I cut her off right at about "mutual" and said more than loud enough "blackpeoplemeet.com". Neither of us are black.

 

10 of us inside fuckin Mitchell's steak house all laughing so hard tears were flowing for a good 2-3 minutes. I'm sure the other guests hated us for a bit.

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Honestly why do people even fuck with tinder? I would rather pay a whore for A) the higher likelihood of finding a 9 or 10, B) lower likelihood of STDs, C) way less crazy, and D) they get the fuck out when you give them the money and pick up the damn phone if you want some more hole without all the goddamn games.

 

 

Disclaimer: I've never been on tinder nor have I ever paid for sex.

 

 

Some of us shouldnt do illegal things. It's b.s. that prostitution is illegal imo

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