A Harvard graduate, Lloyd Carr, Jim Tressel, and the Pope are all flying to Cancun for a spontaneous vacation, when the small turboprop plane (don't ask why) starts to smoke and careen towards the earth. The pilot jumped out, leaving the four passengers with only three parachutes. The Harvard graduate said "I've got a wealth of knowledge to impart on the world, and besides, my intelligence is much more important than college football," and promptly autodefenestrated to safety. Lloyd Carr grabbed a parachute and said "I've got a pristine record to uphold, and I've got a No. 2 team that I have to lead to victory on Saturday!", and jumped out of the smoking plane to safety. The Pope looked at Jim Tressel and said "You go, son. I'm a man of his years, I've done my good for this world, and besides...I'm a Buckeyes fan. Take the parachute and go, and I'll find my peace." Tressell smiled at the Pope and said "It's okay, Holy Father, Lloyd just jumped with the Harvard grad's backpack."