Those with kids - how old were you...

[nurkvinny]

How old were you when you had your first child? Looking back, would you have had him or her sooner, later, right when you did? This is a serious question; please approach it that way.

 

Thanks

[Guest Removed]

I was 21, and im glad i had him then, he's 6 now. they grow up fast!

[wnaplay1647545503]

My first was born 15 days after I turned 18. I also have 1 that is 4 and 1 that is 6. Wouldn't change a thing.

[Science Abuse]

I'm 24, had him at...24. Feels about right. No way I'd have him earier, and having him later would just mean we'd be older when he was growing up. I dont want him to be able to outrun me for a long long time.

[MrMeanGreen]

22, turned 23 two weeks later. I think perfect timing as it's not too early to be reponsible for raising another human being (still being a child yourself), and not too old to, well, be old. I feel sorry for the kids graduating high school who's parents are as old as some people's grandparents.

[Bam]

I am 19, my daughter is 7months old. Before my daughter was born, I thought 100% that I was too young, even though my fiancee' is 21. But now that she's born and I realize how much fun she is and how much I care for her I don't think I'd have it any other way. Sure I'd love to have a better job, and not be in school full time, its rough I'll admit, but every time I think about her (which is constant) I smile and wish I could be holding her.

 

I think the perfect age is like what Anthony said, between there and 25, no later. My dad is only 43, my mom 42, and they party harder than I do. (Sad I know). But the point is they're not too old to hang out with. We drink, we water/snow ski, we do things together, its great, and they absolutely LOVE my daughter, they can't get enough of her.

[black00ws6]

I'm 29 and my wife is 31. No kids yet and still debating on if we even want any; We enjoy our active lifestyle and have so throughout the past 5+ years. I see nothing wrong with being in your late 40's and having a kid graduating HS.

[Balian]

Well I just turned 25 and my girlfriend had ours when I was 24. The baby is now almost 7 weeks old..I think this is a good age to have kids like yall said...Not to old, yet not to young. But then again, young is all in your mind.

[Buck531]

I think I beat everyone here in this department.

 

I'm 29, and my wife is 28. We have a 12 year old.

 

She was 15 when she had him, I was 17 at the time.

 

If we would have waited until later on in life to have a child, we probably wouldn't be together. Chris (12 year old) was the main reason we stuck together at the time.

[Guest Evl Mdgt]

I was 21 when I had our daughter... I dont think it was too early because I want to be able to do things with her when she gets older. I never had any kind of relationship with my mom growing up because she wasnt around. Now that I've found her, she's like 52 so she cant do what i like or doesnt like to. My dad is 50 and when i was little he could do things with me like bike riding, roller blading, theme parks... but as i got older, he couldnt. I miss doing things with my parents. I want to be able to do things as a family. Thats why I dont mind taking her places. I take her every where with me lol as most of you can tell from the past few meets. I want her to always feel included and welcome.

 

I'm glad i didnt have a kid sooner because I know I wouldnt of been ready. I've wanted a kid now for the past year or two... well since my best friend had her daughter. I am so happy to have her in my life. She's such a good kid and I love her more than life itself.

[MaTS1200]

I was 33 when I had my first. I love my son more than anything but I'm very glad we waited to have a child. It's extremely time consuming and you need a lot of patience, something I had neither of when I was younger. I also enjoyed the years with my wife when we could spontaneously go on vacation all the time. Vegas for the weekend, fly to the Keys and do some Tarpon fishing on a moments notice, it was a great time in my life. It's wonderful now with my son and I wouldn't trade it for the world but I'm very glad we waited. There's really no "right" time to have kids. You'll know when your ready.

[nurkvinny]

I was 33 when I had my first. I love my son more than anything but I'm very glad we waited to have a child. It's extremely time consuming and you need a lot of patience, something I had neither of when I was younger. I also enjoyed the years with my wife when we could spontaneously go on vacation all the time. Vegas for the weekend, fly to the Keys and do some Tarpon fishing on a moments notice, it was a great time in my life. It's wonderful now with my son and I wouldn't trade it for the world but I'm very glad we waited. There's really no "right" time to have kids. You'll know when your ready.

 

THERE's the reply I was waiting for.

 

Thanks guys.

[SlowZ06]

I think I beat everyone here in this department.

 

I'm 29, and my wife is 28. We have a 12 year old.

 

She was 15 when she had him, I was 17 at the time.

 

If we would have waited until later on in life to have a child, we probably wouldn't be together. Chris (12 year old) was the main reason we stuck together at the time.

 

My son is nine years old, born just before I turned 18. My wife was 21. (We weren't married until I was 20) I can say without question that he is the reason my wife and I are celebrating our 7th wedding anniversary today. However, being older and wiser would have served me well in my son's early years.. I missed a lot because I wanted to act my age. That being said, I don't think there is really a right or wrong time to have children... as long as you are able to love and provide for your family.

[MrMeanGreen]

THERE's the reply I was waiting for.

 

Thanks guys.

 

Then why not just come out and say what you feel, instead of asking people for an opinion?

 

I will be in my early 40s when my kids graduate. More money to play with, better job security and senority, time to do WHAT I WANT and still be young enough to enjoy every minute of it.

 

The majority of people cannot afford a luxury lifestyle of hopping to the Keys ar going tarpon fishing in their early-mid 20s, while concentrating on working and moving up in life. The best time to have kids, so they can grow with you. Then you grow together as a family, they move onto their respective lives, and you now have the time and money to do what is fun while still being able to enjoy it.

[nurkvinny]

Then why not just come out and say what you feel, instead of asking people for an opinion?

 

I will. I am not ready. No reply here would change that.

 

I did not want to skew anyone's answers. I was very curious as to a 'mean' age on this board when people bagan their families (intentionally or not ), to judge where I would fall when I have one in a year or two.

 

I want to enjoy my toys, new house, and garage for a year or two before "we get pregnant". <--- I hate that phrase, by the way. I want to build up the financial padding that went away 4 months ago with the house down payment. My wife is 25 and pushing for a kid NOW.

 

She is very close to getting her Independent Counseling License, which will mean a large pay increase. I think she needs to wait until afterwards to have a kid.

 

My dad was 31 or so when I came along. He was (is) plenty young enough to help me with all the car projects I went through. And, I probably had a better childhood with the paychecks he had at 31 than I could have had if I came along right when got back from the Army.

 

I'm not knocking anybody's choices. I did not start the thread to figure out if I want a kid now; we all know I am not grown up enough for that.

[Bam]

The majority of people cannot afford a luxury lifestyle of hopping to the Keys ar going tarpon fishing in their early-mid 20s, while concentrating on working and moving up in life. The best time to have kids, so they can grow with you. Then you grow together as a family, they move onto their respective lives, and you now have the time and money to do what is fun while still being able to enjoy it.

 

 

^^^Exactly, I agree 100%. Even if I didn't have my daughter and all the extra money that goes along with having a kid I KNOW I wouldn't have the money to take lots of trips to fancy places, its just not in the cards. And like Anthony said, we're trying to "move up" in our life, get a savings going, buy a place of our own, better job security, etc, I guess I did something wrong by not being able to fly here or there every month when I was in my mid-twenties?

[Mike_Shepard]

I was 18 going on 19 when I had my son, now im 30 he's 10. I am glad I had him when I did I'll still be quite young when he's old enough to drive and still young enough to keep his ass in-line

[Guest Evl Mdgt]

I was 18 going on 19 when I had my son, now im 30 he's 10. I am glad I had him when I did I'll still be quite young when he's old enough to drive and still young enough to keep his ass in-line

 

Aaron is a very good kid, Mike. You've done a really good job.

 

 

The phrase "we get pregnant" is incorrect because you do not get pregnant... SHE gets pregnant. You just have to deal with it

[Boost-n-Juice]

I was 26. You will know when you are ready. I personally think 30 is the cut off. My son was "planned" so it was exciting. I was in the garage working on the Mustang when she came to the door with the + test. I literally dropped the wrench in my hand and have not really picked it back up since. Life is so different now. I have a Mustang capable of 1,000+ hp and couldn't care less. I'd rahter it have 300 or so and be able to put the family in it, with the top down and got get a Ice Cream cone at DQ. My life is now all about my son and I can't get enough of him. He is so spoiled and gets jealous of other children, so we may not have any more, but if we do it won't be until he is 5 or so.

[Science Abuse]

I enjoy the fact that I'm not a vegas lovin' club hopping party freak, and I never have been. The things that Elena and I love to do with our time will only be augmented by the presence of lil Nick. Sure, we have to wait a year or two before he can go half the places we can. But in 10 years we'll be mostly unrestricted, apart from the most dangerous stuff. In 18 years I'll only be 42, and I'll have a young, strong climbing partner capable of hauling my old ass out of the hills.

[nurkvinny]

I literally dropped the wrench in my hand and have not really picked it back up since.

 

That is what worries me. I grew up in a garage/shop/car project environment, and have always known I want to keep turning wrenches until I die. I know it sounds selfish when I think about the cars I won't be able to afford if we have kids. Some folks are into families, and I appreciate that. I want to have toys and keep going as fast as I can as long as I can. I have been very upfront with my wife about this. Hell, the first time she ever met me, I picked her up in dad's Vette. Our second date was in my old GTA, and the third in my pro street S-10. You'd think she should have seen this coming.?!

 

Many friends have told me that I can easily have the best of both worlds - kids and rides. I feel bad though when my dad talks about the Corvettes he had, "until my sister and I came along". He in no way throws it in my face.

 

Others say, "man, once you have a kid, you won't miss the garage that much." I hope that is very true, and that it is possible to have both.

[Science Abuse]

You'll be amazed at how much having a kid will realign your wants and perspectives. You'll give up stuff, but you wont realy mind, especialy when you figure out how to make the kid laugh so hard it sounds like he's choking on a duck.

It used to be rare to find me at home between the hours of 9 and 12pm on any night. Now I go a month or so at a time withough going out with the guys. Hell I'm too tired to stay up and enjoy adult swim most of the time.

 

A tip, Fatherhood starts at conception. When the lady is ripe with preggers, she needs you around as much as the baby will. Find a hobby that you can enjoy in the same room as her. I Draw, build models, etc etc

If you think about it, wrenching just gives you something to do. You need somethign to do, you liek doing that, so you do it. When you have a kid, that is something to do, and you will enjoy doing, so all will be well.

[MaTS1200]

I don't think anyone needs to defend when they want to have kids. If your ready for kids in your early twenties good for you. A lot of people aren't ready for that much responsibility emotionally, financially or otherwise. I wanted to make sure that I was ready before I had kids. When I was in my early twenties I was too busy partying and concentrating on my career. I know that I wouldn't have been a good father. I was just too greedy with my time. Some guys are ready at 18 to be father and some like me just aren't. I'm certainly ready for it now and enjoying every minute of it. Just for the record, I wasn't jetting around in my early twenties. I was in school, which I paid for myself along with everything else I own.

[Skinner]

We planned oursdidnt plan on 3 but thsats just a bonus. I'm a person that is very must set in my ways to the point of being hardheaded. I have always enjoyed having my own freedom even while married if i wanted to do something i would (for the most part and budget premiting).Now knowing that going to change completely I have no problems with that at all and infact am looking forward to taking care of them, teaching them, and watching grow.

 

Once you know your going to have kids it truely does change you outlook on life. Hell last week when Autumn started to go in labor and I found out there was a chance we could lose them I honestly felt like i was going to die and to be honest would have given my life for thiers without thinking twice about it And i haven't even seen or held them yet.

 

Anyway back to try to answer your question, yes when you have kids it will change for you but it will be for the best and the things you thought were important will change it doesnt mean will will have to give them up or will want to you'll just look at things differently

 

Edit: Also say you do a a child and the toys take a back burner for a awhile once your boy/girl is at about 3 or older they will want to help you with everything you do. just think of it as a little garage buddy.

[Guest Evl Mdgt]

When we found out that we were going to be parents... everyone kept telling us "you're whole life is going to change. you wont be able to do the car stuff anymore or go to the movies or out to eat, or afford the kidn of life style you've become accustomed to, blah blah blah blah"

 

To tell you the truth... the only thing that have changed is that it takes a little longer to buy things because we have to save the money and that we have this new member in our family who we love and wouldnt give up for the world. A friend of mine told me that once the baby is here... you wont have time for each other because all your time is spent with the child. But that'll only happen if you let it. We always find time for each other, just the two of us and still have time as a family. Our lifestyle hasnt changed and will only get bigger when I go back to work (still on leave).

 

The only way you wouldnt be able to still do the things you love... working on cars, etc... is if you let it happen. So you wont be able to spend as much time in the garage as you do now... but you can still make time. Just like someone said...after a few years you can start teaching him/her all the stuff you know about cars and even have a little helper get em their own little tool belt, etc. Dont look for just the bad in it... look for the good in it and will come in the future.