AngryBMW Posted June 30, 2006 Report Share Posted June 30, 2006 I don't normally post jokes, but I lol'd at this... When girls don't put out!! This was written by a man... it's pretty damn smart. Girls -- Have a sense of humor! This is so fucking true! I never quite figured out why the sexual urge of men and women differ so much. And I never have figured out the whole Venus and Mars thing. I have never figured out why men think with their head and women with their heart. FOR EXAMPLE: One evening last week, my girlfriend and I were getting into bed. Well, the passion starts to heat up, and she eventually says, "I don't feel like it, I just want you to hold me." I said, "WHAT??!! What was that?!" So she says the words that every boyfriend on the planet dreads to hear... "You're just not in touch with my emotional needs as a woman enough for me to satisfy your physical needs as a man." She responded to my puzzled look by saying, "Can't you just love me for who I am and not what I do for you in the bedroom?" Realizing that nothing was going to happen that night, I went to sleep. The very next day I opted to take the day off of work to spend time with her. We went out to a nice lunch and then went shopping at a big, big unnamed department store. I walked around with her while she tried on several different very expensive outfits. She couldn't decide which one to take, so I told her we'd just buy them all. She wanted new shoes to compliment her new clothes, so I said, "Lets get a pair for each outfit." We went on to the jewelry department where she picked out a pair of diamond earrings. Let me tell you... she was so excited. She must have thought I was one wave short of a shipwreck. I started to think she was testing me because she asked for a tennis bracelet when she doesn't even know how to play tennis. I think I threw her for a loop when I said, "That's fine, honey." She was almost nearing sexual satisfaction from all of the excitement. Smiling with excited anticipation, she finally said, "I think this is all dear, let's go to the cashier." I could hardly contain myself when I blurted out, "No honey, I don't feel like it." Her face just went completely blank as her jaw dropped with a baffled, "WHAT?" I then said, "Honey! I just want you to HOLD this stuff for a while. You're just not in touch with my financial needs as a man enough for me to satisfy your shopping needs as a woman." And just when she had this look like she was going to kill me, I added, "Why can't you just love me for who I am and not for the things I buy you?" Apparently I'm not having sex tonight either....but at least that bitch knows I'm smarter than her. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
NTHER91 Posted June 30, 2006 Report Share Posted June 30, 2006 you need to delete this cuz im doing it (her and her damn shoes GRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR) lol Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lustalbert Posted June 30, 2006 Report Share Posted June 30, 2006 Score. Im not getting any for the next month now...... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Brandon Posted June 30, 2006 Report Share Posted June 30, 2006 Lmao Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Orion Posted June 30, 2006 Report Share Posted June 30, 2006 if i had a woman, id be in deep shit shortly. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SpaceGhost Posted June 30, 2006 Report Share Posted June 30, 2006 I don't have this problem.. My wife wants it more than me. Funny joke though, I have heard it before, but funny every time I hear or read it. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Scotty2Hotty Posted June 30, 2006 Report Share Posted June 30, 2006 God bless one night stands and fake numbers. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Berto Posted June 30, 2006 Report Share Posted June 30, 2006 awesome Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
old dirty bastard Posted June 30, 2006 Report Share Posted June 30, 2006 God bless one night stands and fake numbers. That had to be repeated. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lustalbert Posted June 30, 2006 Report Share Posted June 30, 2006 I don't have this problem.. My wife wants it more than me. Funny joke though, I have heard it before, but funny every time I hear or read it. Need some help taming her? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kevin R. Posted June 30, 2006 Report Share Posted June 30, 2006 Haha..that was good. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SpaceGhost Posted June 30, 2006 Report Share Posted June 30, 2006 Need some help taming her? LOL Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Orion Posted June 30, 2006 Report Share Posted June 30, 2006 a dollar for the first person to post pics of spaceghosts nympho wife! <love you, ben> Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mojoe Posted June 30, 2006 Report Share Posted June 30, 2006 Man, that is sooooooooooooooo true. nice post Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
morabu Posted June 30, 2006 Report Share Posted June 30, 2006 OMFG!!!!!! :eek2: ROFLMMFAO!!!!!!!! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Wease Posted June 30, 2006 Report Share Posted June 30, 2006 1996 called, they want their joke back... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
AngryBMW Posted June 30, 2006 Author Report Share Posted June 30, 2006 1996 called, they want their joke back... IdontcareIthoughtitwasfunny called...they said fuck you. -Marc Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jelloman4571647545499 Posted June 30, 2006 Report Share Posted June 30, 2006 haha good joke. Marc made a funny. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
El Karacho1647545492 Posted June 30, 2006 Report Share Posted June 30, 2006 you guys are all pathetic. My girl loves sex as much as (if not more than) i do, and whenever we go out she pays! i don't think i'll ever drop that. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SpaceGhost Posted June 30, 2006 Report Share Posted June 30, 2006 http://www.columbusdiscgolf.com/IMAGES/Tara.jpg Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Adam Posted June 30, 2006 Report Share Posted June 30, 2006 you need to delete this cuz im doing it (her and her damn shoes GRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR) lol holy shit you are so in trouble when she reads this, don't call me till she is done Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jackson1647545504 Posted July 1, 2006 Report Share Posted July 1, 2006 "If you are not fucking her, why is she around?" Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Nitrousbird Posted July 1, 2006 Report Share Posted July 1, 2006 I've heard that one before, but it's damn good. I think I need to find a woman that has any f'ing clue w/ her finances. Last broad I dated for a few weeks, I swear she had to have made more money than me (project manager for a busy advertisement agency...that has to pay well, right??). Yet the chick had shit to show for it; a 01 Blazer w/ a payment, nice but small apartment, and other than some decent furniture/decorations, nothing of any value in it. And she was always acting like she was tight on her budget...WTF?? I mean, I can blow money with the best of them, but at least I have something to show for it in the end. My last g/f, though she made less than I do, she also had less bills, and in the end had the same cash to play with. She would spend money hand over fist on clothing she would rarely wear, and other stupid crap. And she had very little to show for all her spending. I think I need to find a woman that actually makes some real cash and knows how to spend it. But no fat chicks. **End Rant** Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
morabu Posted July 1, 2006 Report Share Posted July 1, 2006 http://www.columbusdiscgolf.com/IMAGES/Tara.jpg tera patrick is........ok Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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