Things you wish you could say at work

[Buck531]

Ahh... I see the fuck-up fairy has visited us again...

 

I don't know what your problem is, but I'll bet it's hard to pronounce.

 

How about never? Is never good for you?

 

I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.

 

I'm really easy to get a long with once you people learn to worship me.

 

I'll try being nicer if you'll try being smarter.

 

I'm out of my mind, but feel free to leave a message...

 

I don't work here. I'm a consultant.

 

It sounds like English, but I can't understand a fucking word you're saying.

 

I can see your point, but I still think you are full of shit.

 

I like you. You remind me of when I was young and stupid.

 

You are validating my inherent mistrust of strangers.

 

I have plenty of talent and vision. I just don't give a damn.

 

I'm already visualizing the duct tape over your mouth.

 

I will always cherish the initial misconceptions I had about you.

 

Thank you. We're all refreshed and challenged by your unique point of view.

 

The fact the no one understands you doesn't mean you are an artist.

 

Any connection between your reality and mine is purely coincidental.

 

What am I? Flypaper for freak!?

 

I'm not being rude. You're just insignificant.

 

It's a thankless job, but I've got a lot of karma to burn off.

 

Yes, I am the agent of Satan, but my duties are largely ceremonial.

 

No, my powers can only be used for good.

 

You sound reasonable; time to up the medication.

 

Who me? I just wander from room to room.

[excell]

Actually I could say most of those and no one would bat an eye.

[dragknee66]

HAH

Oh man the things I would like to say at work.. I cant list lol

[Rally Pat]

lol a guy in my department has these posted up in his cube

[thorne]

I've said allot of those and I've added some of those to my say in the future list.

[Orion]

haha, please.

[nuinqua]

What the fuck is your problem?

[cNeutron]

Are you really that stupid or am I taking crazy pills.

[Guest Hal]

Then go work for snap-on ya prick.

[medium fast]

"Fuck this, I am going to apply at CITI BANK."

[87GT]

I have signs on my desk with work that has a few of these on it. People laugh at it. My favorite is

 

Always give 100% at work

12% Monday

23% Tuesday

40% Wednesday

20% Thursday

5% Friday

[Buck531]

"Fuck this, I am going to apply at CITI BANK."

 

buahahaha.

 

+1.

[2 Sweet]

lol, nice

[Danielle]

Actually I could say most of those and no one would bat an eye.

 

Agreed.

 

I say even worse things, and my boss just laughs.

[FourString]

I say stuff like this on a daily basis to my coworkers. I could care less.

[Exploder95]

After dealing with a particularly stuck up/bitchy woman today, as she walked away my supervisor turned to everyone in the office and said with a smile on his face, "You know, I'm positive there is a special place in Hell for people like her..."

[petraman]

Things I wish I could say at work?

Nice ass. Wanna go back to my place?

[pontiacfreak142]

i wish i could say even half of those. i work at a gas station and most people that come to get gas are so stupid, they make it look like you need a college degree to opperate a freaking pump. id love it if i could just have one day to say whatever i wanted to those people