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OMEGLE: Post your hilarity


Mensan

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Stranger: Hey!

You: What's up?

Stranger: N2mu?

You: Bored, I have a quick question for you.

Stranger: ???

You: Say you went camping with your friend and he got you really drunk, next thing you know you wake up the next morning with a condom in your butt.. do you tell anyone?

Stranger: Uhhh no.

You: Wanna go camping? :)

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Stranger: You down with OPP?

 

You: yea you know me

 

Stranger: OMG

 

Stranger: It took me ages to find you.

 

Stranger: Somebody that would correctly respond to this

 

You: haha

 

Stranger: Thank you

 

Stranger: You have made my day, Stranger.

 

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i just got rick rolled

 

You: hi1

 

Stranger: We're no strangers to love

 

Stranger: you know the rules

 

Stranger: and so do I

 

Stranger: A full commitments what Im thinking of

You wouldnt get this from any other guy

 

I just wanna tell you how Im feeling

Gotta make you understand

 

* never gonna give you up

Never gonna let you down

Never gonna run around and desert you

Never gonna make you cry

Never gonna say goodbye

Never gonna tell a lie and hurt you

 

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You're now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!

Stranger: hey

You: hai

Stranger: About a month ago I got adventurous and decided to fap into the frying pan, using my semen in place of little extra butter I usually put in the pan when I'm grilling grill'd cheese.

 

I didn't notice much difference in flavor when I tried it, although it definitely didn't taste any worse.

 

Last night, however, while in the process leading up to grilling two sandwiches for lunch for myself and my sick mother, I noticed my neighbor's 13 year old daughter changing in the yard next door (our window sort of faces out into the neighbor's yard, the suburban layout of our community is somewhat strange), presumably after getting out of the pool. I got the urge to fap and decided to incorporate it into my cooking again in secret.

 

My mother did seem to notice a difference in flavor for the better - I nonchalantly told her I used a different butter, which in it's essence wasn't entirely a lie, I just didn't specify it was my nut butter. I'm not about to outright lie to my mother.

 

I consider myself a respectable man of principles, you know.

Stranger: oh hai

Stranger: from?

Your conversational partner has disconnected.

 

 

Bahaha I got pwned

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THUNDERCATS BOMB h000000000000000

 

You: THUNDERCATS

Stranger: ASSEMBLE!!

You: HOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

You: cheetara was the hottest one

Stranger: hahaha

Stranger: I've never watched it, actually...

Stranger: do they even say assemble?

You: no that is another cartoon

You: you fail

Stranger: oh, shows what I know

You: cheetara was so hot she started my furry obsession

Your conversational partner has disconnected.

 

Connecting to server...

Looking for someone you can chat with. Hang on.

You're now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!

Stranger: Hey! Have you heard about the new acai berry diet! I lost 56lbs from eating acai berry forumla 1000. Wanna get more info?

You: THUNDERCATS

Stranger: lol.

You: hooooooooo?

Stranger: hahahaha

Stranger: what?

You: cheetara was the hottest one

You: don't you agree?

Stranger: thundercats!

You: do you know of the thundercats?

Stranger: nah man, shernf shernf

You: tell me of the acai berries

Stranger: hahaha, i dunno about them

You: i like to drink them in v8 fruit fusion

Stranger: i just liike to do that to people

You: is very tasty drink

You: oh i see

Stranger: really

You: you are a big fat phony

Stranger: i dont think i can get that kind of v8 where i live

You: HEY GUYS LOOK AT THE BIG FAT PHONY

Stranger: hahahahahahaha, THE BIG FAT PHONY

Stranger: HEY LOOK AT THE PHONY

Stranger: THE PHONY

Stranger: THE BIG FAT PHONY

You: cheetara was the reason why i became a furry lover

Stranger: so you like hairy pussy! is that what you are saying?!!?!?

You: no just people who dress up like animals

Stranger: oh,

Stranger: wtf.

Stranger: lol.

You: like sexually they turn me on

Stranger: weird.

You: just like cheetara

Stranger: oh cool.

Stranger: lol.

Stranger: so you wanna do a cat?

You: NO

Stranger: oh!

You: just someone who dresses up like one

Stranger: a person dressed as a cat

You: a women most of the time

Stranger: what about a person dressed as a human- like me

Stranger: most of the time women?? but sometimes men??

You: sometimes

You: women look better as cats

You: don't you agree?

You: where did you go

Stranger: i dont like women dressed as cats

Stranger: lol

Stranger: just mnormal women

Stranger: you must like halle berry

You: that gets boring real quick

You: yeah i like her as catwoman

You: but a woman doesn't have to dress up as a cat

Stranger: hahaha

You: cows do fine

Stranger: i knw

Stranger: WTF

Stranger: lol..

You: with udders to play with

You: you know what i am sayin?

Stranger: you are fucking with my baked head aye?

You: oh you are baked?

Stranger: very.

You: under the influence ?

You: of what substance i am just curious

Stranger: do you partake?

You: are you a cop?

Stranger: HAHAHA

Stranger: no

Stranger: i live in new zealand.

You: who wants to know?

Stranger: lol.

You: oh that country is far away from here

Stranger: dont answer then, i was just asking,.

You: i have read that they are very strict on drug laws

Stranger: i am stoned. not on anything other than weed.

Stranger: no, you must have read wrong haha.

You: good man

Stranger: cannabis here is like...canada

Stranger: laws not really enforced

You: oh really? i didn't know that

You: do you have coffee shops like canada and holland?

Stranger: meth is quite strict

Stranger: no no coffee shops. just a lot of head shops and grow shops

You: so you grow your own ?

Stranger: haha, no.

You: oh

Stranger: have friends.

Stranger: so do you partake or no?

You: there was something called hempfest last weekend in my city

You: a lot of people go there every year

Stranger: cool! yeah we just had j-day

You: i must say when i was in college i might have been around some of that smoke

You: seeing as hempfest is done on a big college campus =)

Stranger: hahaha, haha how old are you now?

You: 27

Stranger: oh yeah

Stranger: im only 19

You: my name is buck and i like to fuck

You: cat girls that is

Stranger: haha and 19 year old dudes or something?

You: only if you dress up like an animal

Stranger: hmm, no.

Stranger: lol.

Stranger: k uhhh

Stranger: i might go now.

You: just make sure the next girl you are doing has a tail

Stranger: haha, ok i will remember that tonight.

You: and make sure you are not seeing things because of the drugs

You: touch it and stroke it make sure it is real

Stranger: drugs? what drugs? aha

Stranger: stroke what

You: and remember THUNDERCATS is the best cartoon ever made

Stranger: lol? the tail?

Stranger: ok

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You're now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!

Stranger: hello

You: THUNDERCATS

Stranger: ha ha

Stranger: the fucking thundercats!

Stranger: that was a great cartoon

You: hoooooooooooo?

Stranger: MAIL DISPATCHER NEEDED TO WORK FOR US . THE JOB DOESNT ENTAILS MUCH. ALL YOU HAVE TO DO IS HAVE OUR MAILS RECEIVED,RECORD AND FORWARDED TO US . MUST BE COMPUTER LITERATE AND MUST SPEAK ENGLISH FLUENTLY. YOU WILL EARN 800-1000/month and 250/week depending on the job carried out.Email me at andrewmike001@live.com if interested.

Stranger: ?

You: do you remember cheetara?

Stranger: un toque de kush

Stranger: i don't know

Stranger: i remmeber dark wing duck

Stranger: that shit was tight

You: but you have seen thundercats before?

Stranger: yeah

Stranger: but i doin't rememebr too much of it

You: cheetara was the hot one

Stranger: yeah

Stranger: nice

Stranger: i porbably got my first boner by her

You: me too

You: she was the reason i became a furry

Stranger: oh u are a furry?

You: it was her fault

You: plus the TV

Stranger: oh ok

You: do you like furries?

Stranger: not my thing

You: i don't like darkwing duck that much

You: Tailspin was a good show

Stranger: do you smoke drugs?

You: are you a cop?

Stranger: hell no

You: then who wants to know

Stranger: me nigguh

You: i don't trust you with such information

Stranger: gargoyles was tight

You: i will have to use the sword of omens on you

You: i need to see inside you first

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You're now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!

Stranger: hi

You: guess what!?

Stranger: no

Stranger: what

You: dese nuts

Stranger: ?????????????????????????????

You: in yo mouth

 

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Throw this in there somewhere and see how fast they end the conversation

 

 

The Federal Bureau of Investigation has logged a record of this chat along with the IP addresses of the participants due to potential violations of U.S. law. Reference no. 2334453436. Your IP address has been entered into our suspect database and may be sent to Child Protective Services. Please wait while memory ref. code 90637895 is entered into the database

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heh.

 

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Looking for someone you can chat with. Hang on.

 

You're now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!

 

Stranger: hi

 

You: Hi

 

Stranger: asl plz~

 

You: I'm looking for Chris Hansen from dateline

 

You: I need to confess

 

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When posting this:

 

The Federal Bureau of Investigation has logged a record of this chat along with the IP addresses of the participants due to potential violations of U.S. law. Reference no. 2334453436. Your IP address has been entered into our suspect database and may be sent to Child Protective Services. Please wait while memory ref. code 90637895 is entered into the database

 

It's fun to post "Reference code entered." and log if they don't take you cereal.

 

 

The more you know.

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I shoulda kept going :(..

 

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You're now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!

 

Stranger: hiya asl?

 

You: old enough

 

You: usa

 

You: not sure on what S means

 

Stranger: male or female

 

You: I don't know

 

Stranger: ?

 

You: i'm in the middle of changing now

 

Stranger: from what to what

 

You: male to female

 

Stranger: hm i see what have u changed so far

 

You: I'm taking the pills to get the chest bigger

 

You: I just need money for the operation

 

Stranger: u shud show me a couple pics of u, im curious

 

You: no camera

 

Stranger: :/

 

You: The Federal Bureau of Investigation has logged a record of this chat along with the IP addresses of the participants due to potential violations of U.S. law. Reference no. 2334453436. Your IP address has been entered into our suspect database and may be sent to Child Protective Services. Please wait while memory ref. code 90637895 is entered into the database

 

Stranger: lol

 

Stranger: k

 

Stranger: noob

 

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Fucking dick.....

 

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You're now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!

You: would you be upset if i died?

Stranger: no

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Stranger: asl?

You: 15/f/us

Stranger: im 17 m US

Stranger: yes

You: what do u wanna do to me

Stranger: i wanna lick your pussy so hard

Stranger: and massage your tits

Stranger: and make you moan and scream

You: do you wanna fuck me?

Stranger: mmm i wana fuck you so Hard!

You: The Federal Bureau of Investigation has logged a record of this chat along with the IP addresses of the participants due to potential violations of U.S. law. Reference no. 2334453436. Your IP address has been entered into our suspect database and may be sent to Child Protective Services. Please wait while memory ref. code 90637895 is entered into the database

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lol

 

win

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i cant read all these...too funny.

 

You're now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!

Stranger: i love you

Stranger: thought you should know

You: herpes?

Stranger: no, crabs

Stranger: sorry

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Connecting to server...

Looking for someone you can chat with. Hang on.

You're now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!

Stranger: some call me....

Stranger: tim?

You: No

Stranger: fine

Stranger: call me

Stranger: WALRUS

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Connecting to server...

Looking for someone you can chat with. Hang on.

You're now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!

You: Hi

Stranger: hi

You: balls of steele?

Stranger: um, no?

You: Oh okay.

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lol, if you post the FBI mssg a thing from omegle pops up and says
If the above message says you have been reported to the FBI, it is not legitimate. Please ignore it.
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