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You die today.....


Mojoe

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Have you lived a full life and are you afraid to die?

 

About 5 years ago I realized the risks I take and the end results of those risk, should I make a mistake. Ive broken about a dozen bones, done all kinds of shit with the military for almost 20 years, snowboard for over 20 years, driven at excessive speeds(on a track of course), and just over all shit I like to do. I'm 36, and carry the last of my family name if I don't have a son. I've been all over the world, but can't figure out why I'm in Ohio. My friends here are awesome.

 

I bought a bike this year to take to the track, because I have wanted to learn to ride and wanted something new to do. It's great and I have liked the feel of learning something new. But that is on hold now due to weather.

 

I've been training a lot more, but that's just something's I've done before. I like the challenge, but I feel like I'm still looking for something more out of it.

 

I meet girl's and that's the same old same. Dont get me wrong, its fun and all. I feel as though I have lived too full a life to find more to it.

 

So what's left? I feel like I have to find something new or do I go somewhere new?

 

I see people that are going through hard times and I wonder what holds them back. I get frustrated at people who don't fix the things they complain about all the time. But that's them. I have a very fortunate life style coming from a trailer park. So it's not that I don't appreciate what I have and do. Just thinking out loud on here and looking for ideas. If I dies today, I have lived a complete and full life. Have you? What are you still looking to do?

 

Maybe this will sper some New Years resolutions.

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Death is something I think about daily. Its not that i sit and think "my life sucks, im going to end it. No actually its "fuck im 26 and its flown by, I am not ready to leave". Having a kid totally changed my outlook completely. I used to drive fast all the time, did stupid things for friends to laugh at, just lived without a care in the world. Now I sit and think about things I want to do, basically a bucket list. I also think about things I want to make sure I teach my son before leaving. I for one haven't done nearly enough to be happy if I were to go out today.

 

Its cliche but "Live each day as if its your last", has been something that I recently started trying to do.

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It wasn't until last year I felt I was stable and actually had something to pass on to a child. But the logistics of that is eight different types of fucked up. In all the places I've lived, the women here are fucking insane and I'm tired of giving opportunities to those who don't deserve it and trying to help them with their shit. Yes, I've been "captin save a hoe" a couple times. So where that leaves me is setting the bar pretty high for someone to have a child with. And it's not even a realistic possibility based on track record and not being too optimistic so as to be realistic. At this point, that's right up there with winning the lottery. Yup, it could happen.
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I can see where it might come off like the "my life sucks". Not the case at all. The kids bit was replying the a post. I'm nowhere near looking for a razor blade. Never been depressed enough for that or county music.

 

Those that know me know I absorb and drown myself in something when I start it. I'm looking for that next thing. I actually think I might just go to school, but classroom stuff just is not active enough for me to focus on it the way I should.

 

I'm looking for ideas. I have made myself a jack of many trades. I'm wondering if it's time to master one.

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Truck driver is out. I have traveled a lot that way and have been licensed on everything from bus and 18 wheeler down for years. Not active enough. Now shooting from them, well that was different, but I never had to. Things always went well.

 

Drugs, I would love them. But couldn't deal with letting myself down. So that cancels out. Did X once. It was fucking incredible. But then thought through if for what it was. Amusement parks are fun a time or two. But you don't get the same feel after the going on the ride several times. Them your searching for that feel that you know will never really be there. = waste.

 

I do think coke would be pretty crazy for me though. Maybe when I'm 80 and looking for an out. Lol

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Coke is overrated...Real talk. X is probably alot more fun. My suggestion would to be run a marathon or climb a big ass mountain. Something you have to train for/look forward to, but will still be a challenge for you after training. Something that will make you think"I can't do this anymore." The reward will be great if you can overcome.
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Have you lived a full life and are you afraid to die?

...

So what's left? I feel like I have to find something new or do I go somewhere new?

...

If I dies today, I have lived a complete and full life. Have you? What are you still looking to do?

 

The only way to live a full life is to never stop living. The only way to never stop living is to always have something left to do. If you stop doing things, or run out of things to do then you're not living. So it's not that if you die with something left to do, you've not lived enough. The idea is if you die with nothing left to do, you've not lived enough. If you die having done 1 thing with nothing left to do, you've not lived. If you die having done 1,000 things with 1,000,000 things left to do, then you've lived a full life.

 

You must also stop doing everything sometimes and just listen to being understanding life. If you do 1 thing you truly understand in your life you will have lived a happy life, but if you do 1,000 things that you do not understand you will have a lived a meaningless life.

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Those that know me know I absorb and drown myself in something when I start it. I'm looking for that next thing. I actually think I might just go to school, but classroom stuff just is not active enough for me to focus on it the way I should.

 

I'm looking for ideas. I have made myself a jack of many trades. I'm wondering if it's time to master one.

 

That's like me to a T. Almost 30 and figured I have to decide on something and that thing is going to be the Automotive industry - Should have my Automotive Tech Associates within a year, the rest of my Business degree within a year or so after that. Never could see myself in any of the other industry's I tried, just to bland and full of boring people.

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I feel I am living a pretty full life. I have had some very significant (and good changes) in my life every year for the past several years, and that continues up to this day. I have many things I plan on doing and want to do, and I will do them. Guess I just enjoy where I am in life. :)

 

As for there not being any good women in Ohio - bullshit. There are, and those that say there are not, are not looking in the right places. And searching for a broad at a bar is NOT the right place.

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The live life to it's fullest is great when you are single and don't have responsibility but when you get married and have kids, putting food on the table and a roof over their head is way more important than taking risks or moving on a whim... Kids need roots and stability... Your dreams no long matter when it comes to what's best for your kids.
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