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funny incidents at your job?


SRTurbo04

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ok so any one have any funny storys of customer incidents at your job?

 

i just had another one today where i just called a customer that was over drawn on her checking account. she was like yea sorry about that my husband just died. we were married for 16 days. an she starts cracking up lol an she was happy as can be. laughing up a storm an kept saying ahh well what can you do. an at first i was like yea ok but checked on the account an sure enough a death certificate was put in for him wow my job can be so entertaining some times. hopefully she took out a big ass insurance policy before she killed him haha

 

 

another funny one was back when the big hurricanes were happening in texas a few months ago . a customer called in said said "were not evacuating were going to stick it out. hopefully after the storm business will pick up". an she paused an kept saying "sory sorry i didnt mean it like that". i was a little confused till i looked on her account turns out her business was a mortuary(sp??) an funeral home. ahahahahaha

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I fall on my ass in the rain with the wal;k behind someftimes ussually with girls watching.

 

Ive walked be hind the trucks and caught the tow hitch a million times...

 

Also at discount I have had people tell me to put "summer" air in there tires and dispose of the "winter " air....

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I once opened up a porta-john door to a guy jacking off. I almost knocked that fucking thing over.

 

I used to work at a bar back in Charlotte and I went out on the patio to get a blow job from this hot ass drunk girl. Not 15 minutes later she was back at the bar sitting with this guy. He had his tongue down her throat.

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I've been on the phone with bankers at Chase branches and they say "Sorry, I gotta go, we're being robbed".

 

Hell, two weeks ago during the WaMu conversion we had two techs call in from the the branches stating they were getting robbed and he was on the ground.

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I was in a meeting this morning and on the calendar for Friday June 12 it was scheduled "Jack Off". I just lost it and everyone was like WTF is so funny, then they looked at the calendar and eventually caught on. I was like “Who really schedules that kind of stuff?” It was changed to “Jack will be off this day”
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Guest mitsumodder
i was following a co worker in a car yesterday. he was driving a company vehicle and i was in a customer car. he turned into an alley to stop and give me directions. as he did he realized it was a walking path "not for motorized vehicles" and snapped the sign like a twig. all i heard was the loud SLAP as the post broke and the sign hit the ground. he's an idiot, and it was funny as hell. needless to say he threw it in reverse and took off. put a nice dent in the cars front bumper too.
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Too many stories from when I was active army, one that comes to mind is knocking a port-a-shitter over at NTC in Ft.Irwin, California. They were right in front of our perimeter, so one guy ran into one to take a crap, we gently bumped it and knocked it over. Second funny one, was using a flash bang on one, when someone was taking a shit. He was deaf for atleast half the day :lol:
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Too many stories from when I was active army, one that comes to mind is knocking a port-a-shitter over at NTC in Ft.Irwin, California. They were right in front of our perimeter, so one guy ran into one to take a crap, we gently bumped it and knocked it over. Second funny one, was using a flash bang on one, when someone was taking a shit. He was deaf for atleast half the day :lol:

 

Thats funny as hell. I'd be a pissed mofo.

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I had a car that had a backing plate rubbing on the rotor. So I grab my big Snap-On screwdriver and start to pry it back and it slipped off the rotor and the grip end of the screwdriver hit me in the eye. I was pulling full force and I knocked myself out, I was out probably 2 minutes before I came to. I had a black eye for about 2 weeks.
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I have a habit of turning off lights in a room when I leave, especially in bathrooms. One time at my old job, a private company with 300 or so employees, I finished washing my hands in the upstairs bathroom of a new addition to our building....a big bathroom BTW...walked out, shut the lights and kept going.

 

Later that day I heard the Owner, a 65 year old man was in there taking a shit and was royally pissed that someone did that to him. I had zero clue he was there and honestly didn't listen after I killed the lights.

 

I never said a thing to anyone and just hoped the old guy never found out it was me :o I still laugh thinking about it though. :D

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I had a guy about 9 years ago came into my office with a complaint of neck pain. So I do the standard questions about how it happened. When I asked him how he got injured he said "do you really need to know" I said of course I do. I could tell he was a little embarrassed, he turned a little pink in the face.

 

He says" We the old lady and I were in bed and I was down there for a while and she cinched up her legs when she climaxed and my neck has hurt since."

 

You don't even know how hard it was not to roll on the floor and laugh. I have many stories like this form over the years

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One of the girls at work can't talk without waving her hands around (yes, she is Italian too). She was taking a sheet of thick plastic back to her station, carrying it notched into both of her elbows so her hands were free while she talked. I laughed at the way her hands were flapping around, and asked her if she was planning to cook for the rest of the Muppets. She didn't get the reference, so I had to explain about the Swedish Chef, and then I did my best attempt at doing his song.....complete with "Bjork! Bjork! Bjork!" which was a BIG hit.

 

About 2 hours later, she was sitting in the break room. I walked up behind her, waited a moment, then went "Bjork! Bjork! Bjork!" just as she started drinking her pop.....best spit-take ever, she had Dr. Pepper coming out of her nose for ten minutes.

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I work from my house so funny doesn't happen that often.

 

uunet/mci/worldcom/verizonbusiness though, there is a transvestite working in the office. Always a good time, big guy in a dress that needs a shave.

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I work from my house so funny doesn't happen that often.

 

uunet/mci/worldcom/verizonbusiness though, there is a transvestite working in the office. Always a good time, big guy in a dress that needs a shave.

 

jones??

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When I worked for a Mercedes dealer, one of the drivers accidentially left a two-month old 2008 S550 in reverse, which rolled backward into the open garage door frame, damagind the rear pass. fender, taillight and bumper. It was hilarious to see this car sitting there, then ever so slowly start rolling backwards with no one in it. Course, the owner didn't feel the same way.
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I have a habit of turning off lights in a room when I leave, especially in bathrooms. One time at my old job, a private company with 300 or so employees, I finished washing my hands in the upstairs bathroom of a new addition to our building....a big bathroom BTW...walked out, shut the lights and kept going.

 

Later that day I heard the Owner, a 65 year old man was in there taking a shit and was royally pissed that someone did that to him. I had zero clue he was there and honestly didn't listen after I killed the lights.

 

I never said a thing to anyone and just hoped the old guy never found out it was me :o I still laugh thinking about it though. :D

 

We wait till Scotty2hotty has to go scotty2potty (which happens entirely too often) and kill the breakers to the employee bathroom.

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For reference i work in a bike shop. Customers always call and say "is my bike ready?" No name nothing they just expect me to know. Another call i get often is "are you open?'' or "do you work on bikes?" I seriously hate people.
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Oh yeah I almost forgot.

 

I was at Tansky Toyota back in like '96 working as a "lot tech". There was some younger 16 year old there and he was pulling a BRAND new Camry back in the bay so we could wash it and tag it, etc. So, as he was pulling in I was in the middle of a two post lift. I think he was trying to be funny and tapped the throttle. (he said it stuck, but I know damn well it didn't). He smacked RIGHT dab in the middle of the post and wrecked the fucking thing.

 

On another note, same place. I just got my buddy a job there. It was a Saturday and were bored as hell. I decided to be Mr. Cool and take the tire shine out and pour some on the ground. Then light it. Nice little light show. Right as I lit it, the General manager walks by and see it and fires me right on the spot. Woops :).

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Seen a guy riding a forklift full throttle in our warehouse and spli a steel column right between the forks. He was watching where he was going and the warehouse was empty. Said he just didnt see it. It was a 12"x12" column painted safety yellow in an empty warehouse.

 

Seen a guy lose a road saw off the 3rd story of a building when it got stuck in reverse, good thing he was harnessed off.

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We left a guy stuck on the rafters of a new building by taking the lift down, A few minutes later he started screaming he had to shit, we laughed until he dropped trowel and shit right off the side of the building.

 

Was laughing for a good 5 minutes at this one. :lol:

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