Rustlestiltskin Posted May 12, 2011 Report Share Posted May 12, 2011 I just turn the volume up on my porn and continue fapping. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
OneRunnin72SST Posted May 12, 2011 Report Share Posted May 12, 2011 German Shepherds find them I shoot them. Call 911. Done and done. -Erik Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
OGRE Posted May 12, 2011 Report Share Posted May 12, 2011 Grab firearm, secure family in a single bedroom and yell out a verbal warning telling anyone in the house to identify themself, if no answer start hunting. To many friends and family get shot when gun owners decide to go hunting in shadows without identifiing the person in thier house. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
OGRE Posted May 12, 2011 Report Share Posted May 12, 2011 German Shepherds find them I shoot them. Call 911. give the dog a treat and done. -Erik fixed Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Orion Posted May 12, 2011 Report Share Posted May 12, 2011 Laying in bed with my wife and ex-gf. (Long story) Pimpin-est thing anyone has ever said on this board. I cannot beleive that no one has commented on this yet. Well played, sir. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
schmuckingham Posted May 12, 2011 Report Share Posted May 12, 2011 Pimpin-est thing anyone has ever said on this board. I cannot beleive that no one has commented on this yet. Well played, sir. Probably because no one believes it Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ramsey Posted May 12, 2011 Report Share Posted May 12, 2011 continue sleeping, allow attack dog to eat and dispose of the body. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rustlestiltskin Posted May 12, 2011 Report Share Posted May 12, 2011 continue fapping. Yell at robber to keep it down. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Drewhop Posted May 12, 2011 Report Share Posted May 12, 2011 Grab Battle axe from bedroom wall. Run down hallway crashing into shit destroying small objects. Hopefully dont get shot or stabbed before I bring the pain at end of hallway. Or realistically secure my wife and son. Lock them in the bathroom with a phone and stop anyone or anything from getting past my other doors. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
accel_is_my_drug Posted May 12, 2011 Report Share Posted May 12, 2011 Kill them all. Take their ID. Kill all their family. Kill all their friends. Kill their neighbors. Kill all the witnesses. Kill Kill Kill... Or scream like a little girl... Definitely one of the two. Seriously though, In college my place was broken into. While creeping through the house they knocked crap off a shelf and startled my dog. Hendog was a mildly obese old rottweiler. He bit down hard on this guys calf and started shaking it back and forth as hard as he could. (when we would play in the back yard, he could shake hard and fast enough to make a wet towel 'crack'... old but still pretty strong.) I ran into the room, thinking the dog is fucking up the furniture for no particular reason, and was a little frightened to see a guy in my house. So I kicked him in the head a few times. By this point we were making quite a bit of noise and my roommate came running into the room. For some reason she stared screaming "stop it". Right then I realized the guy my dog was mauling, and who I was kicking in the head was her drunk boyfriend. WHoops. He needed a bunch of stitches in his leg and had a huge black eye. However, he was a huge douchebag, so no harm done. The worst thing, that night was when I realized my dog had glacoma and was losing his eyesight. It was pretty sad. He was an amazing dog. RIP hendrix Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
2pointslow Posted May 12, 2011 Report Share Posted May 12, 2011 jakes on him.....i fall asleep down stairs and with multiple guns in multiple rooms, shit wouldnt be pretty. Funny story.. My parents house is pretty much inpenetrable without some type of explosive. This guy was trying to break in, my mom woke my dad up ( light sleeper). My dad grabbed a gun went down stairs and pointed it at him through the window on the front door. The guy about shit his pants. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mjrsplat Posted May 12, 2011 Report Share Posted May 12, 2011 Laying in bed with my wife and ex-gf. :fuckyeah: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
smokin5s Posted May 12, 2011 Report Share Posted May 12, 2011 since my kids bedroom is on the other side of the house, I would make sure my wife was in a secure location and then go get the kids.... with weapon in hand... if someone gets mowed over, it's there issue for breaking into my house. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
RedRocket1647545505 Posted May 12, 2011 Report Share Posted May 12, 2011 jakes on him.....i fall asleep down stairs and with multiple guns in multiple rooms, shit wouldnt be pretty. Funny story.. My parents house is pretty much inpenetrable without some type of explosive. This guy was trying to break in, my mom woke my dad up ( light sleeper). My dad grabbed a gun went down stairs and pointed it at him through the window on the front door. The guy about shit his pants. Pretty sure I could get through glass w/o explosives. :masturboy: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
2pointslow Posted May 12, 2011 Report Share Posted May 12, 2011 Pretty sure I could get through glass w/o explosives. :masturboy: My dad has either double or triple pane windows with the film in them so it doesnt just shatter. The window on the front door is small both the storm door and front door are double locked. so even if you did manage to get through the storm door and break the front doors window. Good luck getting both locks undone. By that time you have made so much noise that he is already down stairs. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Hal Posted May 12, 2011 Report Share Posted May 12, 2011 My alarm is my 4 dogs. They're all in out bedroom with us, so we'll know if they hear something. Following the noise I run through steps. 1. Assess the situation. Is there really someone entering/inside the house? Did the dogs react to a raccoon on the roof? What's up? 2a. Someone is inside the house. Grab the maglite and .45, position the wife and dogs in the corner furthest from the door, and have the wife call 911. Proceed to step 3. 2b. Racoon is on the roof. Tell dogs to stfu and go back to sleep. 3. Have wife put phone on the bed, still connected to the 911 dispatcher (after saying our address and situation of course). 4. Call out that I am armed and will fire if anyone enters the room. 5. Police station is 250 yards from my house. 6. ??? 7. Insurance claim? Second option: 1. Hear person. 2. Grab .45 and maglite. Tell bitch to be quiet. 3. Clear room by room, killing anything that moves. 4. ??? 5. Profit. My house is not easily defensible from the second floor. I am at a disadvantage leaving the safety of a secured room to go Rambo and kill the invader. No point in risking myself to save my TV or computer. Make no mistake, if they intend to enter our bedroom, they will not leave under their own power. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Hal Posted May 12, 2011 Report Share Posted May 12, 2011 P.S. Most people in here would probably shit themselves before they went out hunting for the bad guy. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
schmuckingham Posted May 12, 2011 Report Share Posted May 12, 2011 P.S. Most people in here would probably shit themselves before they went out hunting for the bad guy. *raises hand* Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Hal Posted May 12, 2011 Report Share Posted May 12, 2011 Now the realistic stuff is coming out. I have done a lot of MOUNT training and urban assault senario run throughs. This is not call of duty. Agressing through your home as soon as you hear something, make you a casualty. Light them up with lights, have a surefire or something near by. I've had a half dozen situations where my rules of engagement authorized me to shoot, but by blinding them and defusig the situation, I didn't have to. Place peper spray by the door for situations where you may open it for a variety of reasons and not know the person. A gun at the door all the time is a hazard and accident waiting to happen. Have them stashed where you might go to or get put. Like a knife inside the zipper at the back of a couch cousion. Get to it when you can if you find yourself tied up. There are thousands of sinarios. Think like you are in the middle of the bad situation and get out from there. Have a plan and train those in the house so you are thinking alike and know what the next move is you are going to try and do or set up for the other one to do to regain control and get help. Back into class. You don't know what you're talking about. This is CR, we're all former SF guys. Seriously people, have a plan. Make sure every person knows what to do in the case of any emergency you can realistically plan for. Do you have a defense strategy for instances like the OP? Do you have a go bag for natural disasters? Can you survive for long if society falls? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
verse Posted May 12, 2011 Report Share Posted May 12, 2011 Seriously people, have a plan. Make sure every person knows what to do in the case of any emergency you can realistically plan for. Do you have a defense strategy for instances like the OP? Do you have a go bag for natural disasters? Can you survive for long if society falls? I agree. There are a lot of helpful forums out there to prepare for things like this. Two that I frequent are survivalistboards.com or zombiehunters.org, both have a lot of good information out there. Also if you have the outdoors channel or sportsman channel there are a couple good shows on there on Tuesdays and Wednesdays. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BloodRed Posted May 12, 2011 Report Share Posted May 12, 2011 My dog would be on the hunt before my head could even get off my pillow. Wife and I both grab our guns. She calls 911 from bedroom while I grab the maglite go find what my dog has already captured. If any harm to my dog or person comes anywhere close to my bedroom, death will be dealt very quickly. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
XChris1632X Posted May 12, 2011 Report Share Posted May 12, 2011 Family at safety with a good defense is the best offense in my opinion. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dr. Pomade Posted May 12, 2011 Report Share Posted May 12, 2011 This is the standard CR member response to this question. (Feel free to copy and paste into this thread.) "Well, first I would finish up having sex with the two supermodels in my bed and then take a bite of the sandwich that they made me earlier. Then, I would tell them, 'Ladies, it's time for daddy to go to work,' and I'd light a cigar while loading up my Desert Eagle, AK 47, sawed-off shotgun, and sniper rifle. They would blow me while I was setting the sights to my sniper rifle. Then I would cut the power lines to my house and don my infrared night goggles. I'd link up to 911 using my Bluetooth: '911, we have an emergency here. An intruder has made the misfortune of trespassing into my sanctuary and now will be sacrified to the God of War. I will leave this line open for communication but be advised I will not respond if engaged with the enemy or in the process of stalking such. Send the coroner. Over.' Then I would proceed out of the bedroom. The intruder would undoubtedly be making a play for my 161-inch LCD and diamond-encased XBOX 360. Having anticipated such, I would go ahead an detonate my flash bombs that I have set up on the other side of my couch. That would leave the intruder dazed and bewildered. I would then run up the stairs to my balcony, rappel over, drop down behind the intruder, and slice his throat. He would gurgle and plead for me to save him. I would spit in his face and promise to creampie his girlfriend." Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
XChris1632X Posted May 12, 2011 Report Share Posted May 12, 2011 This is the standard CR member response to this question. (Feel free to copy and paste into this thread.) "Well, first I would finish up having sex with the two supermodels in my bed and then take a bite of the sandwich that they made me earlier. Then, I would tell them, 'Ladies, it's time for daddy to go to work,' and I'd light a cigar while loading up my Desert Eagle, AK 47, sawed-off shotgun, and sniper rifle. They would blow me while I was setting the sights to my sniper rifle. Then I would cut the power lines to my house and don my infrared night goggles. I'd link up to 911 using my Bluetooth: '911, we have an emergency here. An intruder has made the misfortune of trespassing into my sanctuary and now will be sacrified to the God of War. I will leave this line open for communication but be advised I will not respond if engaged with the enemy or in the process of stalking such. Send the coroner. Over.' Then I would proceed out of the bedroom. The intruder would undoubtedly be making a play for my 161-inch LCD and diamond-encased XBOX 360. Having anticipated such, I would go ahead an detonate my flash bombs that I have set up on the other side of my couch. That would leave the intruder dazed and bewildered. I would then run up the stairs to my balcony, rappel over, drop down behind the intruder, and slice his throat. He would gurgle and plead for me to save him. I would spit in his face and promise to creampie his girlfriend." Yeah ok I lied, this is what I would do because it would just come natural! Except I would be on CR during the battle to tell everyone how sweet I am. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Orion Posted May 12, 2011 Report Share Posted May 12, 2011 This is the standard CR member response to this question. (Feel free to copy and paste into this thread.) "Well, first I would finish up having sex with the two supermodels in my bed and then take a bite of the sandwich that they made me earlier. Then, I would tell them, 'Ladies, it's time for daddy to go to work,' and I'd light a cigar while loading up my Desert Eagle, AK 47, sawed-off shotgun, and sniper rifle. They would blow me while I was setting the sights to my sniper rifle. Then I would cut the power lines to my house and don my infrared night goggles. I'd link up to 911 using my Bluetooth: '911, we have an emergency here. An intruder has made the misfortune of trespassing into my sanctuary and now will be sacrified to the God of War. I will leave this line open for communication but be advised I will not respond if engaged with the enemy or in the process of stalking such. Send the coroner. Over.' Then I would proceed out of the bedroom. The intruder would undoubtedly be making a play for my 161-inch LCD and diamond-encased XBOX 360. Having anticipated such, I would go ahead an detonate my flash bombs that I have set up on the other side of my couch. That would leave the intruder dazed and bewildered. I would then run up the stairs to my balcony, rappel over, drop down behind the intruder, and slice his throat. He would gurgle and plead for me to save him. I would spit in his face and promise to creampie his girlfriend." :fuckyeah: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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