What do you say to this?

[Buck531]

As some of you know my Dad is in an assisted living community as he fell months ago and had a stroke. Parkinsons is owning him. Yesterday he told my mom

 

"Maybe I'll be seeing Scott soon".

 

Scott is my brother. He passed away at the age of 23 due to cancer. I was 15.

 

What the hell do you tell your mom? There just aren't any words. :fuuuu:

[Captain_Panic1647545539]

You are correct. There are no words. I'm sorry to hear this man.

[sol740]

Sorry also man. That's got to be tough.

[evan9381]

while it fucking blows, like stated, you cant say anything. fortunately though, everyone knows their time is limited. doesn't make it any easier to have it sooner rather than later.

[Otis Nice]

All you can do is be there for her. Sometimes words aren't enough.

 

Praying for you guys. Truly.

[Rocky31186]

Both my grandpa who died of pancreatic cancer, and my grandma who died of lung cancer said this. As a family we knew they were ok with passing away to be in a better place.

 

Sorry for your situation. But if he is in rough shape it sounds like his time is coming.

[Buck531]

Both my grandpa who died of pancreatic cancer, and my grandma who died of lung cancer said this. As a family we knew they were ok with passing away to be in a better place.

 

Sorry for your situation. But if he is in rough shape it sounds like his time is coming.

 

 

How long from the time they said this until the time they passed? Just curious.

[LJ]

My great aunt is 89 and we try to visit her every few months. Back in December she was showing us this wood carving she had made and said that it needed about 3 more months worth of work, but that she wasn't going to be here that long. We saw her this past Sunday and she is still up and moving around 8 months later.

[Green Bastard]

when my grandfather recently passed he was talking to his 1st wife who had died 25-30 years ago, this was only about 1/2 hour before he passed. I would look out for something like that (not that everyone does it I'm sure, but it could be something to watch for), cause that usually means they are really close. I am sorry to hear the bad news though.

[TTQ B4U]

Depends on how mom is doing. It's gotta be rough. My guess is unless he's really doing poorly and on the edge health wise, it's likely mind tricks in his head that he can't control.

 

I'm watching my father and now my mother in law go through it. My father has said some things like that about my brother who past in 2006. He also gets caught up in telling stories from 30-40 years ago, even farther back, like they just happened. Surprisingly I believe the level of detail he brings out from them. Truly like he was there last week.

[El Karacho1647545492]

I don't know how long your father has, but you need to try to focus on the good through this. Not just for your sake, but for your mom's and your family's. Your father is ready, and likely has felt ready internally, to die. It's not morose, it's not sad. He is truly happy with the life he lived, he has accomplished everything he set out to accomplish. He has a loving, happy family and that's all any man strives to create. He has given this earth everything he can, and his reward is to see the son he lost too early.

 

Those are the best words I can try to give you to tell your mom.

[Rocky31186]

How long from the time they said this until the time they passed? Just curious.

 

Cancer hit them VERY fast and very hard.

 

When they said it, it was within a month and they were gone.

 

They actually went in and out for a couple days at the end, and you could hear them mumble to past family members.

[Ackbar00]

Sucks man, my dad has the same thing and is doing the same shit

[AC66Bronco]

Personally.

 

Id sit down with my mom and talk to her about how we gotta encourage him to keep fighting.

 

But depending on the situation sometimes its best to just swallow it and be there.

[Otis Nice]

I don't know how long your father has, but you need to try to focus on the good through this. Not just for your sake, but for your mom's and your family's. Your father is ready, and likely has felt ready internally, to die. It's not morose, it's not sad. He is truly happy with the life he lived, he has accomplished everything he set out to accomplish. He has a loving, happy family and that's all any man strives to create. He has given this earth everything he can, and his reward is to see the son he lost too early.

 

Those are the best words I can try to give you to tell your mom.

 

Awesome advice.

 

When my grandfather was in I know he felt this way. He was an E9 USAF EOD. Served 21 years and was on the ground in Viet Nam. After that he was a pastor for 24 years. Married people, councelled them, helped those in need and never judged anyone or turned anyone away. He did SO much more than we even knew at the time, but still, there was something keeping him fighting and for the first time in his entire life he admitted being in more pain than he could bear.

 

On his death bed in the hospital my aunt held his bible and said, "Dad, is there anything you'd like me to read?" He said, "Philippians 1:21" and before she could find it he quoted it (see sig).

 

I didn't get it at the time, but when I studied further into it I saw this.

 

21 For to me, to live is Christ and to die is gain. 22 If I am to go on living in the body, this will mean fruitful labor for me. Yet what shall I choose? I do not know! 23 I am torn between the two: I desire to depart and be with Christ, which is better by far; 24 but it is more necessary for you that I remain in the body. 25 Convinced of this, I know that I will remain, and I will continue with all of you for your progress and joy in the faith, 26 so that through my being with you again your boasting in Christ Jesus will abound on account of me.

 

It was shortly after my dad said to him, while he was in a peaceful sleep and with tears streaming down his face, "Dad, it's ok. You're in too much pain. Go home and see mom and Kevin (his brother who was killed in a car accident back in '87). We'll be ok. Don't worry about us anymore."

 

Papaw passed peacefully after that.

[87GT]

As some of you know my Dad is in an assisted living community as he fell months ago and had a stroke. Parkinsons is owning him. Yesterday he told my mom

 

"Maybe I'll be seeing Scott soon".

 

Scott is my brother. He passed away at the age of 23 due to cancer. I was 15.

 

What the hell do you tell your mom? There just aren't any words. :fuuuu:

 

Only thing I would say is "yes you will see scott soon". Just nod and smile and enjoy your time with him. I've missed seeing most of my extended family before they passed. Last year I didn't make it to see my grandma. She was dying of cancer and at home on hospice. Only home for 4 days. I've been talking to her on the phone often. She loved when I showed her all the pictures of places I traveled to. I talked to her the night before about my last trip to Hawaii and told her I would leave in the morning to show her. She lived 2 hours drive away. I left in the morning but not quick enough. I didn't make it in time. She told my grandpa before she passed that she was happy that I got to travel the world and see new things. It still bothers me to this day

[Buck531]

Thanks for the replies.

 

As for taking care of my mom. I do that. I call her about every night. I also invite her over here as many times as I can to make dinner and such.

 

He's in an assisted living place off Cooper Rd in Westerville. That place is SOOO depressing. It looks like a bunch of old zombies walking around. His roomate has ulzheimers (sp). Mom has to lock up his tooth brush, razor, bath needs in a locked tool box. Random people would just walk into the room. One lady started brushing her teeth in dads bathroom last week. Just crazy things. It's VERY depressing just to even be there.

 

I almost wish he would have had a heart attack or something that would have done him right then and there and not have to put mom and family through the months of stress and pain. But you have to deal with the cards that you have been dealt with.

[ShoMeSomeFun]

Sorry to hear. My grandmother is going thru the exact same thing and says the exact same things. All the cartlidge in her body as eroded and every bone scraps on one another so she has to be in pain. Also she has advanced Parkinsons and dementia is setting in. My family only puts her into assisted living when things for surgery etc, and have a someone watch her during the day to give my grandfather a break.

 

My father sold his house and moved into his parents house to take care of her at night. I also I have an uncle thats mentally handicapped so it would have been too much for my grandfather.

 

It sounds bad but she does cheer us up with some of the things she says even though most days are tough, and Im overseas at the moment so talking to her on the phone is tough as she cant get the words out right.

 

I dont know whats worse, being this far from her, or being my dad and have to live those tough moments day in and day out.

 

Prayers for you family.