How would you handle a young thief?

[Scruit]

Went to pick up my 7yo son from his YMCA summer camp yesterday evening. I walked into the room and immediately noticed another kid had my son's distinctive baseball cap.

As I looked closer I could see this kid had crouched down over my son's book bag, removed the baseball cap, rolled it up and was trying to tuck it under the back of his shirt. He was looking around the room very nervously, and when his eyes met mine he knew he was caught. (And I arrived in full ATGATT getup (minus helmet) so I looked even more imposing than in street clothes)

I walked over to him and asked why he had my son's cap. He said he was going to take it over to my son. "Did he ask you to bring him the cap?" "no".

I asked the boy to give me the cap, which he did, and then he kinda snuck off into the crowd of kids. My son came over and I pointed the kid out and asked if he'd been given permission to take the cap out of my son's book bag. My son had no clue that the boy was touching the cap. So, not an innocent misunderstanding then.

So, how do you deal with that? If I caught my boy taking someone else's stuff then he'd be in for an corrective discussion that he would not remember fondly (I don't hit my kid, never had to). But you can't really do anything when it involves someone else's kid.

Best I could do was report it to the teacher there (who said she would talk to the kid, but never asked me which kid it was. ) Then I told my son to look after his stuff better and let him know he nearly lost his cap.

It P's me off and saddens me that an 8yo kid is stealing stuff. Someone needs to take better control of their kid.

Edited June 16, 2011 by Scruit

[Bad324]

im learning that kids are evil little bastards because parents aren't doing it right

[C-bus]

Shari'a ftw!

[crb]

im learning that kids are evil little bastards because parents aren't doing it right

^^^ What he said.

I would have a huge problem with the teacher that says they will handle, but doesn't know which kid to handle. May I suggest getting a lock for your sons backpack? I know you shouldn't have to lock an 8yr olds backpack. Too many parents living off the system in my opinion. I see a lot of parents letting their kids run loose anymore the parents just don't take control.

[Tpoppa]

At that age, it's clearly an issue that stems from the parents. Either they haven't taught enough about values or right & wrong. Perhaps the kid is trying to get attention but not going about it the right way.

Bad parenting leads to bad behavior.

[Bad324]

Bad parenting leads to bad behavior.

i tried to explain this to my gf last night when her kid was being a brat but she just decided to get mad at me instead of listen to reason and logic. Women

[Disclaimer]

i tried to explain this to my gf last night when her kid was being a brat but she just decided to get mad at me instead of listen to reason and logic. Women

Did you try explaining it in English?

[Scruit]

I'm blessed in that my kid is never a brat. He has never thrown a tantrum in his life and if his mother or I ask him to do something he does it. He doesnt have a malicious bone in his body and is very logical. He'll do things he doesn't like to do (chores etc) without hesitation if I explain to him why it needs to be done.

I look at other kids throwing tantrums, back-sassing and acting mean to other kids and I really wonder if it's the kid or the parent. Maybe I just got lucky.

[chevysoldier]

Eye for an eye. Cut the kid's hand off. He gets caught one more time, and he won't do it again.

[jblosser]

In the old days when I was growing up, parents administered discipline (not actual beatings, but spoken words that left absolutely no doubt in your mind as to the proper behavior in the future) to any kid in the neighborhood that needed it. All the parents were of the same mind, and (most) all of us kids turned out to be upstanding, hard working, non-thieving adults. Remember how you used to be scared when threatened with "wait 'til I tell your father"?

Back to reality: My guess, and I'm not a psychologist, is that if your son befriended the thief, the thief would be much less likely to go thieving in in the future. He's not getting attention from his parents and is probably not able to actively seek out new friendships. The kid needs friends and guidance that he's obviously not getting at home.

It's kind of like a dog that never sees other dogs - they react badly when they actually do see another dog for the first time, but eventually (usually) they become part of the pack and act appropriately.

Or you could just administer a beat down on the thief, but that's only going to cause him to repeat his misdeeds. He most likely doesn't respect authority, as he doesn't get any authority at home and doesn't know how to react to it.

The camp counselor sounds useless. I would not be sending my son back to a camp where there's seemingly a lack of leadership.

[Bad324]

Did you try explaining it in English?

she has good oral skills so I'm sure she understood it . She was like well you're not a parent and my retort was yea but I was a pain in the ass kid and I know what worked on me and set my ass straight

I look at other kids throwing tantrums, back-sassing and acting mean to other kids and I really wonder if it's the kid or the parent. Maybe I just got lucky.

its a combination of both but I think more skewed towards the parenting side of being the problem. Then again it also has to be looked at on a case by case basis

[speedytriple]

Have had problems with this in my 8 year olds class my wife mentioned it to the teacher with the same result you got. She went over her head to the principal and got better results. maybe try talking to someone higher up the food chain you might get a better response.

[Tpoppa]

i tried to explain this to my gf last night when her kid was being a brat but she just decided to get mad at me instead of listen to reason and logic. Women

[speedytriple]

Hey I did not know jbot had a kid?!!

[Scruit]

she has good oral skills

Nice, nice.

Wait, you mean like "verbal skills". Ohh, rihgt. That's what I was thinking. Yup. For real.

its a combination of both but I think more skewed towards the parenting side of being the problem. Then again it also has to be looked at on a case by case basis

I think some kids are just wired wrong and you need a very good parent to keep them straight.

Some kids are naturally good, but a bad parent can louse that up too.

[madcat6183]

Funny because I have been dealing with something similar in my neighborhood. First let me reflect on what I would do in your case;

Being that the teacher basically did jack about it, I would go above them, their supervisor, principal, camp director, whatever it is. I personally have no problem going above someone to ensure the job is done correctly. The fact is if you had addressed the child directly to issue corrective discussion, or anything else, you'd be in jail right now. The parents would sue you for harrasment as I am sure everyone now a days would do. Or file some stupid charge etc. In the old days, even when I was a kid 25 yrs ago, it wasn't like this, I know parents would have corrected me in a heartbeat, then my parents would have let me have it. For the record I was never smacked, etc. and only grounded once in my life.

In my case, I have a pine tree in my yard, a good 15 feet from the corner of the curve/sidewalk corner. Well the issue is this is the bus stop corner and the kids were climbing in my tree, taking branches off of it and using them as toys etc. 1)This makes me liable for any injuries and I sure don't want my HOI to be all over me for some other little a$$hole kid. 2)They ripped off some large branches and my tree started to sapp pretty bad and I was afraid of it dying. 3)They were cutting through my yard, I was NEVER allowed to walk in anyones yard, drive, nothing. My parents would rip my a$$ all the time if I did, which I didnt.

So becuase I knew if I addressed the kids, they would tell their parents who would in turn come after me etc. I called the school directly and talked to the schools principal along with the transportation director so that the kids parents were made aware and it was addressed at school with letters sent home. I don't have a problem with this, I don't care if parents hate me, I care about my property, and care about the little kids not getting hurt.

I also built a large 8x8 mulch bed around it with landscape timbers so that they understand not to enter it.

So far no problems, no eggings, no toilet paper, etc. Might help I have a huge K9 looking sheppard/chow mix that I walk through the neighborhood twice a day, all black with only white teeth, and not freindly.

[Beegreenstrings]

I was thinking at least someone of age... But in this case... Jeez, you got me man.

[Casper]

im learning that kids are evil little bastards because parents aren't doing it right

yup

[Casper]

Might help I have a huge K9 looking sheppard/chow mix that I walk through the neighborhood twice a day, all black with only white teeth, and not freindly.

They neighborhood kids think our Siberian Husky is a wolf. That works real well too.

[SWing'R]

May I suggest getting a lock for your sons backpack?

That sounds like a reasonable solution to the immediate problem.

[C-bus]

As the parent of three great kids in that age range, I would hope that you would let me know what my kid did so I could address it in the way my kid would understand AND would be able to watch for it again and follow up.

[Scruit]

I should tell the little scrote that we Brits used to banish theives to Australia. Even children were "transported" for petty theft back in the later 1700s.

[Scruit]

As the parent of three great kids in that age range, I would hope that you would let me know what my kid did so I could address it in the way my kid would understand AND would be able to watch for it again and follow up.

Unless I sit around and wait for his parents to pick him up (a 2.5 hour window) I have no way of contacting them. I'll talk to the camp counsellor again tonight and see if anythign was actually done. If not, then I'll go to the person in charge of the camp.

[C-bus]

Unless I sit around and wait for his parents to pick him up (a 2.5 hour window) I have no way of contacting them. I'll talk to the camp counsellor again tonight and see if anythign was actually done. If not, then I'll go to the person in charge of the camp.

That does throw a wrench. I probably wouldn't wait around either.

[Mykill]

In my case, I have a pine tree in my yard, a good 15 feet from the corner of the curve/sidewalk corner. Well the issue is this is the bus stop corner and the kids were climbing in my tree, taking branches off of it and using them as toys etc. 1)This makes me liable for any injuries and I sure don't want my HOI to be all over me for some other little a$$hole kid. 2)They ripped off some large branches and my tree started to sapp pretty bad and I was afraid of it dying. 3)They were cutting through my yard, I was NEVER allowed to walk in anyones yard, drive, nothing. My parents would rip my a$$ all the time if I did, which I didnt.

So becuase I knew if I addressed the kids, they would tell their parents who would in turn come after me etc. I called the school directly and talked to the schools principal along with the transportation director so that the kids parents were made aware and it was addressed at school with letters sent home. I don't have a problem with this, I don't care if parents hate me, I care about my property, and care about the little kids not getting hurt.

I also built a large 8x8 mulch bed around it with landscape timbers so that they understand not to enter it.

Alright Monster House. When does your movie Up 2 come out?